12 days of EMS Christmas

This was a foward I got from a fellow medic. I thought I would post it. It also explaines the little >>>>>> thingies.


The Twelve Days of Christmas EMS Style...
>>>
>>>On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>2 MG of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by
>>>taking
>>>her Husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling
>>>suicidal....
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the
>>>neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself
>>>and
>>>have the
>>>big one in the driveway...
>>>2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself...
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee..
>>>
>>>On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>4 AM in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has
>>>had
>>>the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the
>>>hospital....NOW,...
>>>Three Stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle,
>>>2 MG of Narcan for Morphine eating Momma...
>>>and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Five minutes to eat.....
>>>4 AM shuttle call,
>>>Three stacked shocks,
>>>2 MG of Narcan,
>>>and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system...
>>>Five Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!!!
>>>4 AM Shuttle,
>>>3 zaps to the chest,
>>>gonna have a stomach pumped,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven car
>>>pile
>>>up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal
>>>Mart
>>>the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo
>>>Dolls...
>>>six reports behind...
>>>Five minutes to eat.......
>>>4AM is way to early,
>>>3 stacked shocks,
>>>2 of Narcan Pushed,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight
>>>flights
>>>of
>>>steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of
>>>breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the
>>>elevator
>>>doesn't
>>>work...
>>>7 cars a crunching,
>>>six reports a writing,
>>>Five minutes to eat.
>>>4 AM shuttle,
>>>CPR in progress,
>>>2 MG of Narcan,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine blankets
>>>needed
>>>to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of the
>>>house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10
>>>seconds we
>>>are outside...
>>>Eight flights of stairs,
>>>should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay,
>>>six reports I'm writing...
>>>Five minutes to eat.....
>>>What the Hell time is it,
>>>should have paid the kid,
>>>2MG of Narcan,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Ten Minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy
>>>figuring out who is going to lunch next....
>>>Nine blankets needed,
>>>Hope fire department is coming,
>>>7 cars a crunching,
>>>six reports I need to write,
>>>Five minutes to eat...
>>>Can't you wait till morning,
>>>stick a fork in him, he's done,
>>>Man I hope she shuts up...
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck
>>>and
>>>maintainence won't take the truck in...
>>>ten minutes waiting,
>>>Nine blankets needed,
>>>eight flights of steps to climb,
>>>Hope you have Progressive,
>>>Give me a new ink pen...
>>>Five minutes to eat....
>>>4 AM is early,
>>>3 Leads all show he's dead,
>>>2 MG won't touch her..
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>a 12 Gague IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to
>>>swing at me...
>>>it's really freezing,
>>>Hope you choke on your sandwich,
>>>9 blankets for grandpa,
>>>How did you get up here in the first place,
>>>man your husband is gonna be pissed,
>>>six reports STILL down...
>>>five minutes to eat...
>>>Better than taking them back,
>>>Hope I recorded the code,
>>>Man, just pass out already...
>>>and grandma who fell and hit her knee...

gobble, gobble...

I have been home recovering. Being waited on hand and foot. And I'm about sick of it. I just want to sleep in my own bed. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family, but after not living at home for almost six years I miss the independance, I miss my bed, I miss my home. I will say it again, I ADORE my family, but Im tired of sleeping on the sofa, like a vagrant. I'm squating at my parent's house. And my father follows me around, arms ousreatched, like waiting for a child just learning to walk. I'm getting pretty steady on the crutches, I'm learning that as long as the caps on pretty tightly I can throw the bottle of Aquafina to the sofa were I'm sitting. and I can get up to feed myself. I'm not fully self suficiant but I'm getting closer. and as soon as I can bear weight I will be better.

The othro-pod (My every so sweet and wonderful Dr D.) saya I can go back to work on light duty as soon as the pins come out in two weeks. I'm looking forward to that, but I'm also NOT. Because they basicly take a pair of pliers and yank those suckers out from deep within the bone...gives me the huzz just thinking about it. But I will be hppy to be back in uniform, even if it is just at HQ doing data entry.

Also Happy Turkey day to my fellow Americans. hope you had family to celebrate with, as I did. lots of food, lots of laughs. My family is well either turned ALLTHE WAY ON...or OFF and we are a family of drinkers. But I was okay I took my painkillers and flaoted away, enjoying the holiday in a drug endused haze. which in my eyes is better than an ETOH haze...so hope you got food and family .

My stay at MUSC

I normally try not give to many details away about my city, using alisis's like "the ritzy island", "The City", "Miracle Hospital", but in this post I will name a name. I was a patient at The Medical University Hospital of SC last week with my foot injury. Now the reason I am actually stating the name of the hospital, giving away this small detail, is because the care I received at the hospital was excellent. It all started in the ER, now these are people I know on a first name basis, being that I am a medic. They treated me like family. They worked quicly to get my pain under control. The consult with ortho was also quickly ordered so that getting me admitted was expidited. So my excellent care started in 1W and then continued when I was addmitted upstairs.

The nursing staff on 7E were caring and knowledgable, the CAs were kind, and the MDs took time to explain everything in terms I could understand. Even though I am I am in the medical feild and understand most of the "big medical words" they did not speak in them. But they did not talk down to me either. One even took the time, after he noticed that I was not doing to well dealing with the injury, (not just pain-wise, but also mentally, I was worried about if I would be able to go back to work with an injury like this) to just sit and talk to me, which for a surgeon to do is well...he treated me like a person not just another patient. Actually, I really can't say anything bad about any of the staff that worked with me. The night nurses, when they were not busy would come in my room and talk. (I didn;t sleep very well at night, being a night shift worker) nad there was one day shift CA, B., who after being cooped up in that stupid hosptial room for like four days, brought me a special kind of wheelchair (The kind from PT that the legs popped up so that me foot would stay elevated.) and two guys from PT to help me into it. So I could go downstairs and go outside for some fresh air.

So I just wanted to say thank you to the staff of 1W and 7E. I don't know if any of them read my blog at all, But if you do, you guys know who you are who took care of me. You all did a good job. I know I was a pain in the ass sometimes, but aren't all medical workers? But even if I totally got on your nerves you didn't show it. You made me feel well cared for. So again Thank You.

The After.

The After.
Originally uploaded by artist in the ambulance 190.

Ok. As promised here is the story of the birthday broken foot.

So it all started out like a normal birthday, I went out with a group of friends to a japanese hibachi place. We got all dressed up, I put on mt new Steve Maddens (with the three inch heel, and I have trouble in heels, keep this in mind, they play a major part in the story) Had a great dinner of steak and shirmp. Had a few glasses of wine and two of those little cups of sake. After we ate we headed over to the wine bar that was down the street. The bartender was this great guy who kept my wine glass from becoming empty. It was a great spanish red wine, sweet, but not too sweet. We made conversation with the guys that were sitting down the bar. Got a few birthday shots out of it. Now this is when the night started to become a little fuzzy. I start drinking water and we leave the bar. My friend was going to take me to her house where we were going to meet her man friend and de-head some shrimp ( yes, really) because I was looking all pretty and such, he was also going to bring a friend of his to meet me. So as we walk to the car, parked in the garage. We start up the stairs, we make it to the third story, well I make it to the third story before I stumble, drunkenly in my new Steve Madden's. I land on my foot, well, I guess I land on my foot as that's were my bones were broken (like I said details are fuzzy) My friend now yells at me to get my ass up. I try to stand, but that didn't go very well. So with her help, we somehow made it to her car (thanks to the red wine and shots I wasn't feeling much pain) and she drives me to the hospital. After four hours in the ER I was told I was going to need surgery to fix the bones. So I was admitted to the hospital, where I stayed for a week. They fixed my foot. I have never known pain before the day after my surgery. But I am home now. living on painkillers. I will be off the streets for at least three months. They have found me a position at HQ on light duty in which I am enternally grateful.

So the moral of the story is, never wear three inch heels, ever.

The Before

The Before
Originally uploaded by artist in the ambulance 190.

all bust up.

I am a dumbass. I have broken my foot after a night of celebrating my 27th birthday. I will be back soon with full story, but because of large doses of morphine and surgery I'm having trouble copleating full sentances. so It will be a few days before I will be back to blogging. Then do I have a story for you people. Well worth the wait.

Idiot...idiot...idiot

I lay here in the hospital, nervous because at 1645 tomorrow I have to have surgery. Surgery because in a nutshell, I am a dumbass. It was my birthday on Thursday. I turned old enough to know better on thursday. Seriously, thats an age...old enough to fucking know better. Its right in the middle of ages "legos are the coolest thing ever" and "gravity has now taken over my body and my breasts have started the revolution"

well I will give the story later, in involes a pair of patent leather heels, a very good spanish wine, and a flight of stairs but I'm tired now. So I will have to get back to you...

DUIs and why they suck.

There are very few people in this world I have absolutly no sympathy for. I mean none. Even crackheads and and the occasional drug dealer or prisoner from the jail who swallowed a dime bag of crack I can muster up some sort of compassion for. But Drunk Drivers, those fuckers, I have absolutly no sympathy for. I can say with complete confidence that I, myself have never driven home from a bar blitzed. I was shocked into not by the nursing staff at the Trauma Center when I was 18 when I was doing my photo essay. Since then I have never gotten behind the wheel of a vehicle after a night of bar hopping. (For two reason mainly, one, was I was made to listen to the doctor's tell a family member of a girl that was killed in a drunk driving accident that their daughter was dead, and two I was threated that if I ever came in as a DUI all of my clothes would be cut off regardless of my injuries and at 18 those are some heavy words to hear) I have three cab company's numbers in my cell, my dad will come if I can't find anyone else and I have even been known to call the on shift supervisor of my EMS system for a ride when the cab company wouldn't pick up the phone. I refuse to drive if I've had more than 3 beverages ( thats my cut off, Im not drunk, but I should not be driving after 3 good stiff drinks) So if I can call a cab so can the rest of humanity. There is absolutly no good reason you can give me that will change my mind. Oh, so you can't call a friend because they are just as intoxicated as you are or you cell phone is missing or the battery is dead, bullshit, every single bar will call a cab for you. Just ask the bartender. They may be a bit put out, but I'd rather have a put-out bartender than killing a family of four on your way home. And I don't know about some people, but my truck is my baby. I cried when the passenger side mirror was knocked off because some asshat left a bunch of cut trees out in the middle of the damn road. So I don't really want to flip over several times in the middle of the street because I was an idiot. And I don't want your dumbass hitting me, injuring me, killing me, on my way home from a long night of saving lives. So DUI's I have no sympathy for. Mostly because of the whole idiot thing and also because you are usually an asshole to me. I hate upon hate getting spit on or swung at. I hate getting cussed at. And every drunk driver I have ever come across in my short career has cussed at and/or spit at me. I have even had one that was so damn drunk he was totally oblivous that he was just responsible for the death of the two passengers in his own car. He even called me a bitch. So no, I have no sympathy for you if you drink and drive. I won't even give you the benefit of faking compassion. I will treat you, but only because the laws and policies of my system tell me I have too and I don't want to lose my certification as a paramedic. But, I will tie you down to a long spine board, I will put the biggest honking needle in your arms, I may even accidenty hit a few bumps on the way to the hospital. But respect, sympathy, compassion, you will not get. Okay I am now going to get down off my soapbox and go to bed. It was a long night. I had three drunk drivers back to back to back which is the cause of my rant. Hope everyone had a safe Halloween, until next year where I will be scraping up "slutty fairies, angels, and nurses" up off the concrete again.