Orientation Week at Miracle Hospital. I have started back in the ER. Im in the AC all day, out of the rain and the heat. I have not completly left the ambulance behind I had a shift last night after my first day at the hospital in the middle of Bumfrack SC . I signed up for this shift several weeks ago. I had been contemplating backing out of it, but then I got to thinking. I could sit on my sofa in my PJs and watch CSI all night...oooorrrr...I could sit on the sofa in my PJs and watch CSI all night AND get paid to do it. So I chose the latter. Money is a big motivater.
What I have noticed if that I have forgotten what it was like to actually work for an entire 12 hours. With EMS it bordom with bouts of excitedness. We are able to sleep, watch TV, or play on the internet for hours at a time, sometimes. But in the ER, the ER never stops. Its like a 6 year old with a serious case of ADHD. It is 12 hours of work. True, run around, all the time work. I got home from my first day back. and I was fucking sore, every muscle in my body was screaming at me. My shoulders were so tight. I just layed in my bathtub, soaking in lavender and vanilla with a bottle of Yellow Tail until the water got cold. Then I iced my aching back. Followed by crashing hardcore without the pharmacutical help of Ambien I have been grown used to.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
All these things that I've done
Yesterday was bittersweet. My last full time day as a Paramedic. Starting Monday I will be full time at the Trauma Center as an EDT. I will be controled and watched. I will have lost most of the autonomy I have become used to on the streets in exchange for the air conditioned controled choas of the ER. My official last day has come and went uneventful. We ran no calls, saved no lives. We only left the station one time to go cover another area while the whole system ran calls but us. The EMS gods, you could say, smiled down on us. However I did ask for one thing my last day and didn't get it. I wanted one last Kick Ass, Balls the the Walls trauma. I wanted blood. I wanted guts. I wanted to launch The Fucking Bird and land that bitch in the middle of Bohicket Road. But alas, disapointment again. How sick do I sound? But in the four years I worked for my system, I have never had to call for the heliocopter. I have RSIed, I have tubed a man with no face left but his eyes staring up at me, I have cardioverted . I have paced. I have given every drug we carry with the expection of Dopamine and Mag Sulfate, I have used all my training. But I have never been the one to call for the Bird. Thats all I asked for. But no, we did nothing. I watched CSI DVDs all day and read my Anderson Cooper memoir.
I remember my first day as a little green EMT. Coming from the same ER Im leaving the EMS world for. I was scared shitless. I hit a fence in the learning to drive the ambulance. I got cussed at and spit on. My first patient that I was alone with in the back of the box was a man with ABD discomfort secondary to drinking moonshine. Really, Moonshine. He made it himself. In downtown no less. I broke a Morphine vial my third day, resulting in hours of paperwork and drug testing. I got us lost on the way to the hospital with a full arrest my forth day. By the weeks end, I was ready to quit. But was convinced that everybody's first week is awful by my Senior Crew Cheif. My second week was better. I got my first tube. And I was able to ffind the hospitals without getting lost. I knew how to make people move to the right with the siren and airhorn. I was getting the hang of it.
Two years later, I graduated from Paramedic School. I had my card and my patch and I was ready. By then, I had already had my scary trauma, The Cyclist. I learned to deal with my new power. I was given a new partner who lacked all common sense. One that would leave me alone with patients that were literally dying. So It would just be me, a cop, and a couple of fire guys. My first patient as a Medic was a symtomatic bradycardic that was agonal and was going to die at any moment. But I saved her. I, Me. With a cop bagging her and me trying to figure out the pacer...and my partner no where to be found. But It was fine, I tubed her, paced her, and got her to the hospital alive, where she was cathed 15 minutes later. I shooked for hours after that. Then yelled at my partner to never under any circumsances leave me alone with a dying patient. I must have scared him because he didn't talk to me for at least a week. I can be very scary. Really, I can be.
Not long after that I birthed my first baby. It was gross and amazing at the same time. She had a very healthy set of lungs on her.
Then came the I can't get an IV or do anything right stage. I had a death. It wasn't my fault, the heart was just done. Broken beyond repair. I did everything I could, gave all the right drugs, did all the right things, but it was futile. He died anyways. Right in front of me. That took me a while to get over. But It was then I learned you can't save everybody.
I love this job. I love being a Paramedic. But, it come to an end, for now. Once I finish my fist couple of weeks at my new job, and start school, I will pick up a few shifts here and there with EMS. I will not forget this time in my life. I am 26 years old and have seen life and death. What more can I ask for...But LAUNCH THE FUCKING BIRD, DAMNIT.
I remember my first day as a little green EMT. Coming from the same ER Im leaving the EMS world for. I was scared shitless. I hit a fence in the learning to drive the ambulance. I got cussed at and spit on. My first patient that I was alone with in the back of the box was a man with ABD discomfort secondary to drinking moonshine. Really, Moonshine. He made it himself. In downtown no less. I broke a Morphine vial my third day, resulting in hours of paperwork and drug testing. I got us lost on the way to the hospital with a full arrest my forth day. By the weeks end, I was ready to quit. But was convinced that everybody's first week is awful by my Senior Crew Cheif. My second week was better. I got my first tube. And I was able to ffind the hospitals without getting lost. I knew how to make people move to the right with the siren and airhorn. I was getting the hang of it.
Two years later, I graduated from Paramedic School. I had my card and my patch and I was ready. By then, I had already had my scary trauma, The Cyclist. I learned to deal with my new power. I was given a new partner who lacked all common sense. One that would leave me alone with patients that were literally dying. So It would just be me, a cop, and a couple of fire guys. My first patient as a Medic was a symtomatic bradycardic that was agonal and was going to die at any moment. But I saved her. I, Me. With a cop bagging her and me trying to figure out the pacer...and my partner no where to be found. But It was fine, I tubed her, paced her, and got her to the hospital alive, where she was cathed 15 minutes later. I shooked for hours after that. Then yelled at my partner to never under any circumsances leave me alone with a dying patient. I must have scared him because he didn't talk to me for at least a week. I can be very scary. Really, I can be.
Not long after that I birthed my first baby. It was gross and amazing at the same time. She had a very healthy set of lungs on her.
Then came the I can't get an IV or do anything right stage. I had a death. It wasn't my fault, the heart was just done. Broken beyond repair. I did everything I could, gave all the right drugs, did all the right things, but it was futile. He died anyways. Right in front of me. That took me a while to get over. But It was then I learned you can't save everybody.
I love this job. I love being a Paramedic. But, it come to an end, for now. Once I finish my fist couple of weeks at my new job, and start school, I will pick up a few shifts here and there with EMS. I will not forget this time in my life. I am 26 years old and have seen life and death. What more can I ask for...But LAUNCH THE FUCKING BIRD, DAMNIT.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Posts in a Row
I went to shoot the new bridge and shot these posts and sunset instead. The hot and haze is not helping with the bridge shooting. It covers the city and blends the cables into the bright white sky. It starting to be really frustrating
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
the ghost
Everywhere in my city is haunted. This city is one of the oldest in the nation. Established because of the great harbour and large port. Pirates, sea men, boats, ships. The whole downtown is build facing the ocean so that in the days before god gave us the joy of AC the winds off the coast would cool the homes. There are streets made out of the cobble stones that were used to weigh the ships down in thier home ports before they sailed here. This is were American History starts. I know its not like Europe, where history is measured in 1000s of years. But It is the history of my country. So that brings us back to the ghosts. They are in every home on the Battery. They come in shapes of children, civil war soldiers, and ruined women. Some are frightning, some not so much. I know many of them, because as a child, my father would read the ghost stories to me. My girl scout troop leaders would tell them to me. So call me niave, call me lame, but okay...I believe them.
So flash to me starting at EMS...and my first shift at Medic 10. My crew cheif thought it would be funny to tell me, the little green EMT, about "The Ghost" Yes, there is an Indian Ghost that resides in the Medic 10 station. Apparently in full headdress, and he like to scare the new EMTs and Medics. So for the months I worked that station I slept with the lights on. I never saw the indian, but everyone knows about it. At recent count... of current employees I know of only one who has actully see him. And I don't want to be the second. I am still scared of the Indian. I told my best friend about the ghost and how I can't sleep at the station, at least not in the bunk room. I sleep in the living room in the recliner, with a lamp and the TV on. Just in case the ghost happens to like CSI:. When I told LB about this, she laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. She started hyperventilating. She said in between breaths "You, my big, strong, best friend, that sees dead bodies, can save lives that can drive an ambulance like she stole it in on coming traffic, and is scared of nothing, is frightened by a ghost she doesn't even know exsits". Yes, and you can qiut laughing at me now. I might not know much, but I do know better than to fuck with the afterlife.
So flash to me starting at EMS...and my first shift at Medic 10. My crew cheif thought it would be funny to tell me, the little green EMT, about "The Ghost" Yes, there is an Indian Ghost that resides in the Medic 10 station. Apparently in full headdress, and he like to scare the new EMTs and Medics. So for the months I worked that station I slept with the lights on. I never saw the indian, but everyone knows about it. At recent count... of current employees I know of only one who has actully see him. And I don't want to be the second. I am still scared of the Indian. I told my best friend about the ghost and how I can't sleep at the station, at least not in the bunk room. I sleep in the living room in the recliner, with a lamp and the TV on. Just in case the ghost happens to like CSI:. When I told LB about this, she laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. She started hyperventilating. She said in between breaths "You, my big, strong, best friend, that sees dead bodies, can save lives that can drive an ambulance like she stole it in on coming traffic, and is scared of nothing, is frightened by a ghost she doesn't even know exsits". Yes, and you can qiut laughing at me now. I might not know much, but I do know better than to fuck with the afterlife.
Scar Tissue
This is the scar left over from the knife that fixed me. My surgeon cut to the left of my tattoo because he couldn't cut through the medical symbol. I got the caduas several years ago for protection after I started having some pain. It is part of a drawing I did in High School. Now I am beginning a new career path, taking a few steps back, back into the ER were I got my medical start. The ambulance still feels like home. But now I am going to make a new home in the hospital. Still caring for the sick and the stupid. Just not at 60MPH.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Can I still call myself "Paramedic"?
Well it official...I am leaving the ambualnce full time and going into the controlled chaos of the Emergency Room. I wrote about this several posts ago, while I was still out in injury. This is not a choice I made because I wanted to, it was because I had to. I am a 26 year old paramedic that at my young age had back surgery. Back in March, I started having pain. Pain I had been familar with since I was 15, but at 15 I was not carting 80lbs of gear and lifting gurneys up flights of stairs. So I made the trip to my spine doc I had been dreading since the day I put on the uniform. Surgery, he said, could fix me, but if I wanted to keep walking like a normal person, EMS is not where I needed to be. So after four months, during the recovery period of my spine post surgery, thinking about what to do now, I came up with it. I would quit the job I have grown to love, go back into the ER, and start respiratory therapy school.
EMS is not what I wanted to do when I began college. I was a fine art major in college, learning all the finer points of photography. It was, however, photography that got me into EMS. When I was studying, my mother worked in the Trauma Center. For my final, our assignment was a photo essay. I did my essay in the ER. After having all the papers signed and the rules laid down (really only one...No patients). I spent the next 13 weeks shooting in the ER, getting to know the night shift and becoming like a little sister to all the staff. My mom moved to the Pediatric ER during the shoot, but I would still come around get a couple rolls of film off and go home. I was there every weekend shooting. I learned that they cut all the clothes off of trauma patients and was told by the staff if I ever came in as a drunk MVA they would cut my clothes off no matter how bad I was injured. I watched as the cracked chests, fixed broken limbs, and intubabted asthma patients. And I fell in love with it. The mess, the chaos, the blood. Yes, I was hooked. So that summer, I started in the ER as a EDT. After a few years, the medics pushed my into the streets. S here I am, a busted up and broken medic, having to go a few steps backwards to go forwards.
I will still be on the ambulance part time. I worked to hard to get through the hell that is paramedic school ( I lost 30lbs and never got more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night during the almost two years of school) to just give it up compleatly. I do love it. I love the patients, working with the other public servants (police fire my co-workers), driving the three ton truck compleate with lights and sirens, like I stole it. Where else can you drive on the wrong side of the road, and get away with it? I will continue to play paramedic as much as possible. And I will continue to blog about my experiences.
EMS is not what I wanted to do when I began college. I was a fine art major in college, learning all the finer points of photography. It was, however, photography that got me into EMS. When I was studying, my mother worked in the Trauma Center. For my final, our assignment was a photo essay. I did my essay in the ER. After having all the papers signed and the rules laid down (really only one...No patients). I spent the next 13 weeks shooting in the ER, getting to know the night shift and becoming like a little sister to all the staff. My mom moved to the Pediatric ER during the shoot, but I would still come around get a couple rolls of film off and go home. I was there every weekend shooting. I learned that they cut all the clothes off of trauma patients and was told by the staff if I ever came in as a drunk MVA they would cut my clothes off no matter how bad I was injured. I watched as the cracked chests, fixed broken limbs, and intubabted asthma patients. And I fell in love with it. The mess, the chaos, the blood. Yes, I was hooked. So that summer, I started in the ER as a EDT. After a few years, the medics pushed my into the streets. S here I am, a busted up and broken medic, having to go a few steps backwards to go forwards.
I will still be on the ambulance part time. I worked to hard to get through the hell that is paramedic school ( I lost 30lbs and never got more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night during the almost two years of school) to just give it up compleatly. I do love it. I love the patients, working with the other public servants (police fire my co-workers), driving the three ton truck compleate with lights and sirens, like I stole it. Where else can you drive on the wrong side of the road, and get away with it? I will continue to play paramedic as much as possible. And I will continue to blog about my experiences.
Friday, July 21, 2006
The post is dedicated to a a reader of my blog who doesn't have anything to do in EMS and wants to know what all the accronyms and abrivations mean. So here are some we use, some official medical terms, some not so much...
LSB: long spine board
CSpine: the whole package with the Collar, board, straps,tape used for neck and back injuries. It's kinda like a whole body splint.
CAOx3: conscious alert and oriented to place date and name
PMSx4 pulse motor and sensation in all 4 limbs
SOB: Shortness of breath
CP: chest pain
SZ: Seizure
HTN: hypertension
IDDM/ NIDDM: diebeties (insulin and non insulin dependent)
PERL: pupils equal reactive to light
ALS; ain't liftin' shit or advanced life support
BLS: Be liftin shit or basic life support
CPR: cardio-pulmonary rescu
FUBAR: fucked up beyond all reconition
CATS: cut all to shit
CTD: circling the drain
WUD: woke up dead
TSTL/D: to stupid to live/die
FDGB: Fall down go boom
DFO/IC: Done fall out /in church
ART: assuming room temperature
DRT: Dead right thar
HIBGIA: Had it before, got it again
TBC: total body crunch
CHF: congestive Heart failure
MI: Myocardial infarction
CVA: cerebral vascular accident
MVA: motor vehicle accident
HA: headache
NGAH: no groceries at home
FOW: fish outta water (Seizure)
Now those are just some...comment if you got new ones. I always need a chuckle.
LSB: long spine board
CSpine: the whole package with the Collar, board, straps,tape used for neck and back injuries. It's kinda like a whole body splint.
CAOx3: conscious alert and oriented to place date and name
PMSx4 pulse motor and sensation in all 4 limbs
SOB: Shortness of breath
CP: chest pain
SZ: Seizure
HTN: hypertension
IDDM/ NIDDM: diebeties (insulin and non insulin dependent)
PERL: pupils equal reactive to light
ALS; ain't liftin' shit or advanced life support
BLS: Be liftin shit or basic life support
CPR: cardio-pulmonary rescu
FUBAR: fucked up beyond all reconition
CATS: cut all to shit
CTD: circling the drain
WUD: woke up dead
TSTL/D: to stupid to live/die
FDGB: Fall down go boom
DFO/IC: Done fall out /in church
ART: assuming room temperature
DRT: Dead right thar
HIBGIA: Had it before, got it again
TBC: total body crunch
CHF: congestive Heart failure
MI: Myocardial infarction
CVA: cerebral vascular accident
MVA: motor vehicle accident
HA: headache
NGAH: no groceries at home
FOW: fish outta water (Seizure)
Now those are just some...comment if you got new ones. I always need a chuckle.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
You know the old phrase...
...you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Well, you can. I have proof. We got played. Truly and utterly played. And it totally pisses me off. Hindsight is always 20/20.
So we get called to an "unconscious trauma". We were about 20 minutes away standing by in another district so we go taking off down this oak tree lined two-lane highway, lights, sirens blaring. FD calls and tells us, Yeah she is totally out, responsive to nothing. Not pain, not voice...nothing. When we get there we are met outside by the FD and staff of the place. They tell us that she was moving tables from a stack and the stack toppled over on top of her striking her in the head and pinning her head between the floor and the table. We walk in and damnit all if she isn't seizing. Not tonic clonic flailing like a fish, but a quiet focal SZ, but apparently she had been doing it about 10-15 mins PTA. So I start a line and give the Ativan...and she stops. We package her in C-Spine and get her out to the truck. Where we discover that her pupils are unequal. Like ones is dialated and the other is constricted. They are sluggish to react. And she is OUT, responsive to only really deep pain. She is breathing and her spO2 is 100% on a Non-rebreather. I call into the trauma center and get orders for another MG of Ativan and one more is the SZs start again. I get a second line put in and my partner notices another SZ. So one more MG of Ativan. Her eyes are becoming less reactive. The sternal rubs aren't doing anything, the big ol' IVs I put in aren't doing anything. So she has had recent head trauma, is unresponsive, has unequal and sluggish pupils and is activly seizing...or so we thought. We had a fire guy drive us in, code 7, risking life and limb driving down the two lane highway with all the trees. Not just risking our lives, but the other motorists on the road because getting over for the blaring ambualnce means risking hitting a huge tree...and we all know that people can freak out with an ambulance screaming down the street. We get to the ER after working our assess off trying to one...figure out why she is seizing and two...trying to make them stop. If she hadn't been holding her own on the airway front, she would have been RSIed and bought herself a tube and an ICU bed. The ER doc actually got into it with a trauma resident over the CT scanner. Feeling that she needed the scan first because of the head trauma and all of the other symptoms, not the stable trauma. Now after the scan is when Mom shows up...and proceeds to tell the ER doc SHE IS FAKING IT. ALL OF IT. She has been seen by several neurologists and they all say the same thing...PSEUDOSEIZURES, faking it. And she has been doing it for years. and has it down to an artform, this girl had us fooled, the FD fooled, the ER fooled. But what about the pupils you ask? She has history of head injury when she was very young, they are always unequal, it happens I guess.
Now the more I thought about this the more pissed off I get. This is EMS abuse at its worst. This pisses me off more that going to an ABD pain x 2 weeks in the middle of the night. For the sole reason that we thought this girl was truly hurt. We worked our asses off trying to help her. We put numerous people at risk just getting her to the hospital, driving down the road CAT 2, we put our lives at risk for the same reason. We fought the good fight for her. Then looked like a moron when finding out is was all an act. It hurts your pride and it makes you think that everyone is faking it. It makes you jaded and mistrusting. We trusted our guts and it turns out that your guts, the ones you use to treat potentially sick people, was so totaly wrong that you don't know if you can rely on them.
As I thought more about the call, I remember her possibly "helping" me move her arm, the seizure might not have looked right. But I could be all wrong.
So we get called to an "unconscious trauma". We were about 20 minutes away standing by in another district so we go taking off down this oak tree lined two-lane highway, lights, sirens blaring. FD calls and tells us, Yeah she is totally out, responsive to nothing. Not pain, not voice...nothing. When we get there we are met outside by the FD and staff of the place. They tell us that she was moving tables from a stack and the stack toppled over on top of her striking her in the head and pinning her head between the floor and the table. We walk in and damnit all if she isn't seizing. Not tonic clonic flailing like a fish, but a quiet focal SZ, but apparently she had been doing it about 10-15 mins PTA. So I start a line and give the Ativan...and she stops. We package her in C-Spine and get her out to the truck. Where we discover that her pupils are unequal. Like ones is dialated and the other is constricted. They are sluggish to react. And she is OUT, responsive to only really deep pain. She is breathing and her spO2 is 100% on a Non-rebreather. I call into the trauma center and get orders for another MG of Ativan and one more is the SZs start again. I get a second line put in and my partner notices another SZ. So one more MG of Ativan. Her eyes are becoming less reactive. The sternal rubs aren't doing anything, the big ol' IVs I put in aren't doing anything. So she has had recent head trauma, is unresponsive, has unequal and sluggish pupils and is activly seizing...or so we thought. We had a fire guy drive us in, code 7, risking life and limb driving down the two lane highway with all the trees. Not just risking our lives, but the other motorists on the road because getting over for the blaring ambualnce means risking hitting a huge tree...and we all know that people can freak out with an ambulance screaming down the street. We get to the ER after working our assess off trying to one...figure out why she is seizing and two...trying to make them stop. If she hadn't been holding her own on the airway front, she would have been RSIed and bought herself a tube and an ICU bed. The ER doc actually got into it with a trauma resident over the CT scanner. Feeling that she needed the scan first because of the head trauma and all of the other symptoms, not the stable trauma. Now after the scan is when Mom shows up...and proceeds to tell the ER doc SHE IS FAKING IT. ALL OF IT. She has been seen by several neurologists and they all say the same thing...PSEUDOSEIZURES, faking it. And she has been doing it for years. and has it down to an artform, this girl had us fooled, the FD fooled, the ER fooled. But what about the pupils you ask? She has history of head injury when she was very young, they are always unequal, it happens I guess.
Now the more I thought about this the more pissed off I get. This is EMS abuse at its worst. This pisses me off more that going to an ABD pain x 2 weeks in the middle of the night. For the sole reason that we thought this girl was truly hurt. We worked our asses off trying to help her. We put numerous people at risk just getting her to the hospital, driving down the road CAT 2, we put our lives at risk for the same reason. We fought the good fight for her. Then looked like a moron when finding out is was all an act. It hurts your pride and it makes you think that everyone is faking it. It makes you jaded and mistrusting. We trusted our guts and it turns out that your guts, the ones you use to treat potentially sick people, was so totaly wrong that you don't know if you can rely on them.
As I thought more about the call, I remember her possibly "helping" me move her arm, the seizure might not have looked right. But I could be all wrong.
Monday, July 17, 2006
We do what?!?
Frank Pierce: "I realised that my training was useful in less than ten percent of the calls, and saving lives was rarer than that. After a while, I grew to understand that my role was less about saving lives than about bearing witness. I was a grief mop. It was enough that I simply turned up."
This is one of my favorite lines from a movie. Every paramedic, firefighter, police officer, ER doc, ER nurse, EDT, and rescue worker understands this line. Because that is what we do, we bear witness to the atrocities of human behavior, we soak it in, and it becomes part of our being. If you stay in this job long enough, you see the ghosts. I drove past the spot where a cyclist was hit yesterday. I haven't been back to that area since the call three years ago...and I started shaking. Now, he is not a ghost, in fact he is alive and doing quite well, but that call shook my entire being up. He was my one call, in which everything came together, my partner, my mentor and I worked to actually save this man's life. He changed everything I ever thought of EMS. Before him, I had never "saved" anyone. I thought our job was to just get the patient to the hospital in one peice, alive, but we don't actually save anybody. We postpone the eniveitable... And for the majority of calls, thats it. We give a little of this drug and little of that drug, maybe shock 'em back to life, but save them? No. We stablize and transport to definitive care, so that the MDs at the hospitals can figure out what has gone so teribbly wrong as to summound us and thats what saves them. But once in a blue while, and this is so rare that there are even some seasoned medics that can't say this. We actually "save" them. It was our hands, our skill, our years of training that are the reason that they are still walking around. Not the doctors, not the ER, but us, the Paramedics, EMTs and Rescue Workers. I have been lucky on that front, I got that realization early in my EMS career.
We get called, we show up, sometimes on the worst day of somebody's life. We take their pain and make it our pain as to lessen the blow, maybe. I have seen total and utter fear in some of my patient's eyes. Sometimes, I can do nothing but show up and the fear goes away. Sometimes, I can do everything in my control and the fear stays. On any given day, I can see life, death, sickness, sheer happiness, or total defeat. But I will always be there, even if all they need is somebody to listen to them. To convince them that they are not alone, that somebody, even a stranger, as I am, will let them tell their story. And so I might tell it for them when they are no longer able to.
Wow, this was a rambling post. But whatever, EMS isn't this deep all the time. Most of the time it's just a ride to the hospital. A really bumpy, uncomfortable ride to the hospital. So just advise and transport.
This is one of my favorite lines from a movie. Every paramedic, firefighter, police officer, ER doc, ER nurse, EDT, and rescue worker understands this line. Because that is what we do, we bear witness to the atrocities of human behavior, we soak it in, and it becomes part of our being. If you stay in this job long enough, you see the ghosts. I drove past the spot where a cyclist was hit yesterday. I haven't been back to that area since the call three years ago...and I started shaking. Now, he is not a ghost, in fact he is alive and doing quite well, but that call shook my entire being up. He was my one call, in which everything came together, my partner, my mentor and I worked to actually save this man's life. He changed everything I ever thought of EMS. Before him, I had never "saved" anyone. I thought our job was to just get the patient to the hospital in one peice, alive, but we don't actually save anybody. We postpone the eniveitable... And for the majority of calls, thats it. We give a little of this drug and little of that drug, maybe shock 'em back to life, but save them? No. We stablize and transport to definitive care, so that the MDs at the hospitals can figure out what has gone so teribbly wrong as to summound us and thats what saves them. But once in a blue while, and this is so rare that there are even some seasoned medics that can't say this. We actually "save" them. It was our hands, our skill, our years of training that are the reason that they are still walking around. Not the doctors, not the ER, but us, the Paramedics, EMTs and Rescue Workers. I have been lucky on that front, I got that realization early in my EMS career.
We get called, we show up, sometimes on the worst day of somebody's life. We take their pain and make it our pain as to lessen the blow, maybe. I have seen total and utter fear in some of my patient's eyes. Sometimes, I can do nothing but show up and the fear goes away. Sometimes, I can do everything in my control and the fear stays. On any given day, I can see life, death, sickness, sheer happiness, or total defeat. But I will always be there, even if all they need is somebody to listen to them. To convince them that they are not alone, that somebody, even a stranger, as I am, will let them tell their story. And so I might tell it for them when they are no longer able to.
Wow, this was a rambling post. But whatever, EMS isn't this deep all the time. Most of the time it's just a ride to the hospital. A really bumpy, uncomfortable ride to the hospital. So just advise and transport.
Friday, July 14, 2006
One More thing...
I was introduced to this puzzle by the Utata Group on Flickr. You have to change the URL to get to the next screen. It goes in numeric order. See if y'all can figure it out.
n.nfshost.com/1.html
Good Luck.
n.nfshost.com/1.html
Good Luck.
We are not a giant taxi
Oh good lord, people... an ambulance is not a taxi service. Wow, I feel better. I forgot how much people abuse us poor paramedics. Please, I ask all of you, the public, to think before you pick up the phone and dial 911. Think about the abdominal pain you have had for 6 WEEKS, then think about how you make car payments every month to have a working vehicle in the driveway, and maybe you have several working vehicles. Do you know where the keys are? Now, pick up the keys and drive yourself to your doctor. There is really nothing the ER is going to do for ABD pain you've had for 6 weeks. They will give you a GI cocktail, do some blood work, and tell you to go to your regular doctor. This is not a hard concept, the same thing is held for "chest pain" times several months (I said Months, not Minutes...see the diffrence) arm pain since January, and neck pain after falling asleep in the recliner. Why , oh why, must you wait until 3am to call an ambulance for something like this.
Acute cases are diffrent, the onset of Chest Pain 15 minutes before can be critical, you just might need us. And if you suddenly can't speak, or lost use of your arm or have a massive Headache all at the same time, that too can be critical...and that too may need an ambulance. If you internal difib is going off, like a recent patient we had, you need emergency care. So, do we all see the diffrence between the above cases. Acute onset, meaning is just came on=Emergency, which=911. We don't mind the truly sick or hurt, or even the not so sick, but the scared, thats our job, thats what we train for hours for. What we don't like are the ones that treat us like a taxi service, who abuse us. Who call us in the middle of the night for say toe pain (yes, this really happens) or because you want rehab, at the three in the morning on a Tuesday, after you have been drinking since last Tuesday, you aren't going to get it, you are going to sit in a lock-down room for many, many, several hours, until you sober up and Palmetto opens its doors again to accept you. And this isn;t just the public, it can also come from theother public servents we work with. Police can be bad about this. Now, before you start bitching at me, I know you guys have policies too. And I know it all comes from above. But come on guys, use that common sense I know you all have. A small laceration on the arm or a driver from a MVA with no complaints does not need EMS. Think about your fellow officers. When you call us for that MVA to "check out" a party that has no complaint to begin with, you are putting an ambulance and the crew basicly out of service. That is one less ambulance not covering their area. So what happens when one of your co workers gets attacked or worse yet, shot, and the closest ambulance is 20 minutes away? I'm not telling you we don't want to help you out, that's not it. And we really do apprciate the help and protection that you provide. There has been a few of you that have saved my ass on calls, kept me from being killed, quite literally, on one call several years ago. I am just asking you to use your brain and think "Would I call an ambulance for this if it was me?"
Acute cases are diffrent, the onset of Chest Pain 15 minutes before can be critical, you just might need us. And if you suddenly can't speak, or lost use of your arm or have a massive Headache all at the same time, that too can be critical...and that too may need an ambulance. If you internal difib is going off, like a recent patient we had, you need emergency care. So, do we all see the diffrence between the above cases. Acute onset, meaning is just came on=Emergency, which=911. We don't mind the truly sick or hurt, or even the not so sick, but the scared, thats our job, thats what we train for hours for. What we don't like are the ones that treat us like a taxi service, who abuse us. Who call us in the middle of the night for say toe pain (yes, this really happens) or because you want rehab, at the three in the morning on a Tuesday, after you have been drinking since last Tuesday, you aren't going to get it, you are going to sit in a lock-down room for many, many, several hours, until you sober up and Palmetto opens its doors again to accept you. And this isn;t just the public, it can also come from theother public servents we work with. Police can be bad about this. Now, before you start bitching at me, I know you guys have policies too. And I know it all comes from above. But come on guys, use that common sense I know you all have. A small laceration on the arm or a driver from a MVA with no complaints does not need EMS. Think about your fellow officers. When you call us for that MVA to "check out" a party that has no complaint to begin with, you are putting an ambulance and the crew basicly out of service. That is one less ambulance not covering their area. So what happens when one of your co workers gets attacked or worse yet, shot, and the closest ambulance is 20 minutes away? I'm not telling you we don't want to help you out, that's not it. And we really do apprciate the help and protection that you provide. There has been a few of you that have saved my ass on calls, kept me from being killed, quite literally, on one call several years ago. I am just asking you to use your brain and think "Would I call an ambulance for this if it was me?"
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
We fixed him.
Busy Busy Busy...the islands have kept me up all day and all night. Not too many calls, but alot of standbys. Lots of driving around the county. I did however have the cutest kid in the whole damn county in the back of my ambulance. Mom called us at like 0200 for shortness. Her three year old woke up with a pretty nasty sounding cough. Kid had croup, nothing life threating, but that loud, seal bark cough can freak out the most level-headed of parents. It even jarred me for a second before I relized what it was. The kid wasn't very playful in the house, but once out in the truck and post humitified oxygen he was a chatty little thing. We talked about "Cars" and "Madagascar" naming all the characters, we talked about his sisters and brothers. He told me all 6 of thier names, ages and birthdays. Oh and most of his immediate family. He told me all about the trip on the carriages with the horses downtown and his new bicycle. Yeah... its amazing what a little oxygen can do. It really is the best drug we carry on the ambulance. It can turn a three year old into a little chatty-kathy. It fixes most cardiac problems, like PVCs. It can turn a CHFer or asthmatic around in a matter of seconds. It can postpone the effects of shock and even lessen the pain from Migranes. Yep oxygen is ia great little thing, but I do like watching Adenocard work the best.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
untitled
Well, another day another shift come and gone...and for some reason the islands have been busy. We ran 5 calls and just as many standbys. Nothing too critical, just run of the mill weak and dizzy all over and allergic reactions. We also had a girl who called because of a migraine. Now, I have migraines. I get them about once a month. I know the pain associated with them. I know about the photophobia, the nausea, the thundering pain. You just want to lay in the dark and make it all go away. I have even gone to the ER because of them. But call an ambulance? Especally when they have a history of them, its really not like they don't know what's going on. It was also one of those overdramatic bitches that just make your job, which is to be compasionate and sympathetic, that much harder. It's when they don't help you out by answering your questions, that you need to ask, like how long have you had the headache and have to taken anything for it do you just get frustrated. And then when they fake "passing out" is when I really want to lean down a whisper "Get your ass up and quit acting like a kindergardener" Oh and the screaming, she just kept screaming. I tried to tell her to quit the hollaring and it just might help, but what do I know?
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Jose Cuervo is not your friend
Happy Fucking 4th. You know, when I choose to go out to the islands to "ease back into EMS" i really wanted to ease back into it. Run a call or two a day, nap some, do a standby or six, but 10 calls in a shift, that's not what I signed up for. If I wanted to run like that I would have requested The City truck. Too be quite honest though, not one call yesterday was related to the 4th and the rednecks that celebrate it by getting drunk and blowing shit up. Nausea and vomiting was the cheif complaint of the day. Of the 10 calls 8 were n/v the other two were kids less than the age of 3 who fell off the bed. (parents, a 3 year old that falls off the bed, a head injury not makes, I fell 20 ft fron the top of a flight of stairs onto the gravel driveway below at the age of 2 1/2 and I'm fine. well fine as a paramedic can be) Kids that age bounce, really they do, it's proven. Actually I lied, one call was related to the fourth. A young man barely in his teens, learned that Jose Cuervo and JD are not his friends. Even I don't drink those together and I'm a dingbat. I guess we all need to learn only once. So by the time he reaches college, he will know, do not mix your liquors. Anyways, he made a mess of my truck by yaking corn and ETOH all over the back of my ambulance. I cleaned up up while fighting my own nausea associated with the migraine I have been fighting since Sunday. And to top it all off, I missed the fireworks I was so looking forward to.
Friday, June 30, 2006
The Pit and the reason there is no family in it
I was watching CNN the other night and they had a story that worried me. Letting family in the ER during treatment. And what they were talking about was not having your mom back as they put in a couple stiches in your finger, but in the TRAUMA BAYS and RESCUSSITATION ROOMS while the medical staff do what what these highly trained medical professional do. They attempt to raise the dead. Anybody who works in the Emergency field knows this is not a calm, quiet place...It is raw medicine. Tubes, cathaters, defibs, blades, fluid and blood.
So why I ask, why would we want to let the families in to witness, what they so should never witness. Whould you want to see the ER staff thumping on your family member's chest, cutting open the side of their chest to shove in a tube. I'm sorry this is just not the place for a grieving. They have a room for that it called "the family room" This is where the hand holding chaplin can support the greiving family in the proper way. Away from the blood, away from the chest thumping, away from the oranized chaos that is a trauma bay.
Also, the hospitals that are trying this are also telling us the public that there will be a nurse explaining to the pt family what is going on. WHAT! Really what ER nurse could even take the time to do this. In the many taumas I have worked the nurses are to busy "Saving the man's life" to hand-hold through a rescussitation. I am not saying that ER nurses are these hard-ass, non caring people, they aren't. They are caring, to the patient, that is bleeding to death on the stretcher. But the ER is refered to as "the Pit" for a reason.
I think people in this age of shows like "ER, House, Grey's Anatomy and now Saved" think they know whats going on behide the closed ER doors. What they see is not always what you get. The actors are always the right color and they always get brought back to life. TV is so kind. a little CPR mix in a little bit of drugs and viola they are alive. In real life, it isn't so clean cut. We could shock after shock, plunge in tube after tube. There is mangled limbs and blood. Its not the sterial world portrayed on TV. This is not the place for a hyserical family member...or even a calm one. They need to stay out.
So why I ask, why would we want to let the families in to witness, what they so should never witness. Whould you want to see the ER staff thumping on your family member's chest, cutting open the side of their chest to shove in a tube. I'm sorry this is just not the place for a grieving. They have a room for that it called "the family room" This is where the hand holding chaplin can support the greiving family in the proper way. Away from the blood, away from the chest thumping, away from the oranized chaos that is a trauma bay.
Also, the hospitals that are trying this are also telling us the public that there will be a nurse explaining to the pt family what is going on. WHAT! Really what ER nurse could even take the time to do this. In the many taumas I have worked the nurses are to busy "Saving the man's life" to hand-hold through a rescussitation. I am not saying that ER nurses are these hard-ass, non caring people, they aren't. They are caring, to the patient, that is bleeding to death on the stretcher. But the ER is refered to as "the Pit" for a reason.
I think people in this age of shows like "ER, House, Grey's Anatomy and now Saved" think they know whats going on behide the closed ER doors. What they see is not always what you get. The actors are always the right color and they always get brought back to life. TV is so kind. a little CPR mix in a little bit of drugs and viola they are alive. In real life, it isn't so clean cut. We could shock after shock, plunge in tube after tube. There is mangled limbs and blood. Its not the sterial world portrayed on TV. This is not the place for a hyserical family member...or even a calm one. They need to stay out.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I get to go back
So back to ambulance acobatics for me. I have been found Fit for duty after almost 4 months of "Healing" So Sat. back I go. Now I'm going to spend the next week or so relearning how to drive code and yelling at people who refuse to move out of the way of an oncoming ambulance. Which, by the way is my pet peeve. Let's all say it together "When you hear the sirens and see the lights, move to the right" ...and don't give me the finger. I'm not trying to piss you off, I'm trying to get to a dying person. At least that's what they tell me.
I'm quietly optimistic about returning to the physically draining job of postponing the enveitable. I still have some pain in my hip and leg, which according to my spine doc is going to hang around for a while because of how long the nerve was irritated. And I have been told that I should never be quiet about calling for help whether it from the FD or my partner.
I'm quietly optimistic about returning to the physically draining job of postponing the enveitable. I still have some pain in my hip and leg, which according to my spine doc is going to hang around for a while because of how long the nerve was irritated. And I have been told that I should never be quiet about calling for help whether it from the FD or my partner.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Just tell them I died
If I have to hear one more tele-marketer ask if my roommate, or her husband, or her father or her cat is home, I swear, I'm gonna go fucking postal. They start the shock and awe at 7 fucking 30 in the morning. Nobody who knows me calls my house at 7 fucking 30, unless someone had died. Well I have one friend who did, but that was only once and they know better now. Plus thats what I have voicemail for. I'll call them back when I get up at 2 in the afternoon.
But really, who are these people and why do they insist on calling every single day from o'dark thirty till almost 10 in the evening? What is so important that they are selling? Are they hocking the meaning of life, the chicken that lays the golden eggs? How many times do you have to tell them that you aren't interested, to take you off whatever list you have been so unlucky to have been added too before they get the fucking clue that SERIOUSLY! I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Sorry, I just had to vent.
I'm not interested, really I don't care what the meaning of life is. I'm not that existential.
But really, who are these people and why do they insist on calling every single day from o'dark thirty till almost 10 in the evening? What is so important that they are selling? Are they hocking the meaning of life, the chicken that lays the golden eggs? How many times do you have to tell them that you aren't interested, to take you off whatever list you have been so unlucky to have been added too before they get the fucking clue that SERIOUSLY! I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Sorry, I just had to vent.
I'm not interested, really I don't care what the meaning of life is. I'm not that existential.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Disclaimer...
I have been found. After writing for almost a year a local blogroll has found me. They say nothing but kind words, so I don't think I'm offening anybody. If I am please, let me know. I might not care, but you can still let me know. The system I work for is a great system. I wear my paramedic patch on my arm with pride. The job I do for my city is hard, sometimes thankless, back breaking work. But I love it. I also enjoy writing my blog. Letting the public into my world, a world of sometimes dark and sometimes enteraining, but always interesting stories and people. Because of the nature of the job, my writing sometimes walks a fine line. I feel that if anything is wrong or if I let on too much, I would be told. I was told once to delete a post that gave too much. Which I did the moment I was told.
So right now, Im gonna take this post and repeat what I say in my profile. I change, alter or compleatly leave out ALL idenifing information about patients, patients family, medical info, even places. Also all opinions are mine and mine alone. I hope that some of what I say is representation of the system I work for, We are a group of kind, caring people. Yeah, we do sometimes have a twisted sense of humor. But really, look at what we do, we have to or else we couldn't see what we see, do what we do, without going nuts. So feel confident, lowcountry, we know what we are doing. The paramedics that are in the back of the ambulance with your mother, father, daughter, son are highly trained medical professionals. Treat us as such is really all I ask of you, the public we care for. So Enjoy my blog...
So right now, Im gonna take this post and repeat what I say in my profile. I change, alter or compleatly leave out ALL idenifing information about patients, patients family, medical info, even places. Also all opinions are mine and mine alone. I hope that some of what I say is representation of the system I work for, We are a group of kind, caring people. Yeah, we do sometimes have a twisted sense of humor. But really, look at what we do, we have to or else we couldn't see what we see, do what we do, without going nuts. So feel confident, lowcountry, we know what we are doing. The paramedics that are in the back of the ambulance with your mother, father, daughter, son are highly trained medical professionals. Treat us as such is really all I ask of you, the public we care for. So Enjoy my blog...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Saved
I mentioned this several weeks ago at the end of a post. For those who don't know. Saved is a new show on TNT about the life of a urban paramedic. Alright...here's my take on it, it's TV people. I've read some heated posts on some other EMS mesage boards on how it portrays the job of a medic...a T-shirt wearing, gambling addicted, sex-in-the-back-of-the rig fuck-up of a son- paramedic. I might be in a monority in my line of work, but I happened to like the first show. Yeah, its a bit shaky writing and there were a few screw-ups like the medic not wearing gloves during a childbirth (yeah, thats really really gross) and giving Verapamil during a full arrest (This, I don't really know if thats wrong or not as my system does not use Verapamil, but its used to lower BP if I remember right, don;t full arrest already have low BP, so correct me if Im wrong, but why would you give this during a FA?), but what brand new show hasn't worked out all the kinks? Remember the first season of ER...or CSI? And as for the sex in the box, all I can say is yuck, thats one of the grossest places on earth, no matter how much germiside you use, but Im getting off subject. The humor was great, even if it was a bit outrageous. When the lunitic stole the truck, screaming over the loud-speaker, singing the song "Love Machine" I fell off the sofa. It was funny, I just kept trying to figure out how I would explain THAT to the on-duty supervisor. "Well, he took it, sir. No we didn't stop him. Well, because he was already on Calhoun Street and to be quite honest I can't run that fast. Can we LSD a whole ambulance or do we have to list everything indiviually?" (side note: a LSD is our Lost-Stolen-Damaged form) They did a great job portraying a relationship between partners. These partners are people you are in a cab of an ambulance for a good 1/3 of your time, who would know you better? I don't even spend that much time with my own family. In a sense, these people, like it or not, become your family. The see the same things you see, they feel the same feeling you have, they understand you. You do become close, that is, if you like the guy. I can tell you from experience, that my good partners, the ones that I respect, know me better than people Ive known for years.
Now as for the public opinion of medics because of a TV show, I'd rather be portrayed like the guy in Saved, than that of Nick Cage in "Bringing Out the Dead" He was depressing. Yeah, we all "see ghosts" driving by that house that we worked our first Cardiac Arrest, that first SIDs death, delivered our first child, got our first tube, worked that grusome trauma victim that was missing... something. But there is also humor in our job, we do get to play. I have alot of memories of just playing around. Like the post waking up a Skel, hanging out with the PD, playing with the K9 in a parking lot. When the city opened the New Bridge my partner and I sat at the base of the bridge sitting on top of a Fire Truck watching the fireworks with all the fire guys. Its not always rushing around, sometimes its just sitting still.
So to every one of us that refuses to watch the show because "it shows paramedics in a bad light", it's really not that bad. You might even *gulp* like it. Its entertainment, just like CSI doen't really show Crime Scene Investigation correctly all the time, or Grey's Anatomy's Seattle Grace Hospital doen't really exist.
Now as for the public opinion of medics because of a TV show, I'd rather be portrayed like the guy in Saved, than that of Nick Cage in "Bringing Out the Dead" He was depressing. Yeah, we all "see ghosts" driving by that house that we worked our first Cardiac Arrest, that first SIDs death, delivered our first child, got our first tube, worked that grusome trauma victim that was missing... something. But there is also humor in our job, we do get to play. I have alot of memories of just playing around. Like the post waking up a Skel, hanging out with the PD, playing with the K9 in a parking lot. When the city opened the New Bridge my partner and I sat at the base of the bridge sitting on top of a Fire Truck watching the fireworks with all the fire guys. Its not always rushing around, sometimes its just sitting still.
So to every one of us that refuses to watch the show because "it shows paramedics in a bad light", it's really not that bad. You might even *gulp* like it. Its entertainment, just like CSI doen't really show Crime Scene Investigation correctly all the time, or Grey's Anatomy's Seattle Grace Hospital doen't really exist.
Monday, June 12, 2006
What a girl wants...
I was reading through a few other blogs that regularly read. Some EMS releated some photography, some just random thoughts on life in general. One of the EMS bloggers made an intresting point. What would I want as a patient? It wasn't that long ago that I was the patient in the back of the box. The EMT that cared for me in the back was kind and joked around with me. Sarcastic and funny, though I was in pain, he kept my mind off of it, or at least tried. We had a ride along that was a fire fighter, who also was kind. We as medics sometimes forget that the people in the back of our truck are in fact...people. Even the Skels, gomers and crackheads, still are people. I am even guilty of this. Sitting behind the pt in the jump seat typing away on the computer, working on the run sheet, not paying attention except to look up once and awhile when the monitor beeps at me. Any medic who says otherwise is lying.
I have, as many us of have, thought of getting tattoos with things like DNR, no RSI unless you have done it sucessfully at least 5 times in the past year, C Spine me me and I will jump off the board and kick your ass, take me to MUSC and a list of people who under no circumstances can touch me. Call another crew, you suck.
Things I would want in my medic is really just three things:
Compassion, If you don't have it, learn to fake it, and fake it well
Competancy, really... know how to do your job. I don't want an incompetant medic giving me a dose of Succs and Etomidate.
Communication, If I'm dying, tell me I'm dying. Don't just say well..."something is strange here" Explain what you are doing. From IVs to difib to CPAP, most of the things we do is painful and uncofortable. Warn me before you scream CLEAR! and hit the button.
Now, to the patients....things to remember...
We have most likely been on the job for 12-48 hours, imagine having a shift that was two days long. Two days we haven't slept in our own bed, seen our familes or possible haven't eaten much in the form of real food.
In those 12-48 hours we have lugged 80 lbs of gear and a 200lb stretcher up and down stairs and down narrow hallways. If we ask you if you can help us out by walking to the front door to the stretcher, it not because we are lazy, its because we lost use of our arms in the first 12 hours of our shift.
Come to the first floor and to the biggest, most open room. It not only makes our job easier, but the faster we can get you into the box, the faster you get the treatment you need. I had one pt who took their dying family member out of the back bedroom and dragged them out the front yard. We scooped and ran. I was able to put the pacemaker on this woman within seconds of her "cardiac episode", thus saving her life.
Please don't spit on me, I will have you arrested, no matter how crazy you are. Spitting is a conscious activity, you know you are doing it and it's nasty.
Please, Please don't say things like "it's because she black, hispanic, russian...whatever" I work as fast as I can no matter what color you are. Black, white, green and really fast if you're blue. Don't be ignorant.
Yes, I will be riding in the back with you family member. I might even perform advanced medical care.
We are people too
Crack counts as a drug, so does Pot.
Don't lie to me. When I ask if you have used drugs or ETOH its no because I just want to know, its because I could give you something that might react with it and KILL YOU! or You may be unconscious and your friend can tell me what you took so I can give you something that might SAVE YOU. Sometimes I can tell anyways like when you sit, vibrating on the beach seat and your heartrate is 160. I hate being lied to, it makes me want to put in an inter-occular IV.
Last, but certainly not least, No you can't hit the button...
I have, as many us of have, thought of getting tattoos with things like DNR, no RSI unless you have done it sucessfully at least 5 times in the past year, C Spine me me and I will jump off the board and kick your ass, take me to MUSC and a list of people who under no circumstances can touch me. Call another crew, you suck.
Things I would want in my medic is really just three things:
Compassion, If you don't have it, learn to fake it, and fake it well
Competancy, really... know how to do your job. I don't want an incompetant medic giving me a dose of Succs and Etomidate.
Communication, If I'm dying, tell me I'm dying. Don't just say well..."something is strange here" Explain what you are doing. From IVs to difib to CPAP, most of the things we do is painful and uncofortable. Warn me before you scream CLEAR! and hit the button.
Now, to the patients....things to remember...
We have most likely been on the job for 12-48 hours, imagine having a shift that was two days long. Two days we haven't slept in our own bed, seen our familes or possible haven't eaten much in the form of real food.
In those 12-48 hours we have lugged 80 lbs of gear and a 200lb stretcher up and down stairs and down narrow hallways. If we ask you if you can help us out by walking to the front door to the stretcher, it not because we are lazy, its because we lost use of our arms in the first 12 hours of our shift.
Come to the first floor and to the biggest, most open room. It not only makes our job easier, but the faster we can get you into the box, the faster you get the treatment you need. I had one pt who took their dying family member out of the back bedroom and dragged them out the front yard. We scooped and ran. I was able to put the pacemaker on this woman within seconds of her "cardiac episode", thus saving her life.
Please don't spit on me, I will have you arrested, no matter how crazy you are. Spitting is a conscious activity, you know you are doing it and it's nasty.
Please, Please don't say things like "it's because she black, hispanic, russian...whatever" I work as fast as I can no matter what color you are. Black, white, green and really fast if you're blue. Don't be ignorant.
Yes, I will be riding in the back with you family member. I might even perform advanced medical care.
We are people too
Crack counts as a drug, so does Pot.
Don't lie to me. When I ask if you have used drugs or ETOH its no because I just want to know, its because I could give you something that might react with it and KILL YOU! or You may be unconscious and your friend can tell me what you took so I can give you something that might SAVE YOU. Sometimes I can tell anyways like when you sit, vibrating on the beach seat and your heartrate is 160. I hate being lied to, it makes me want to put in an inter-occular IV.
Last, but certainly not least, No you can't hit the button...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
It's Alive!
I found my new favorite place in Ctown...The unitarian church's graveyard. It truely is the graveyard time forgot.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Hurricane Season
To my fellow East and Gulf coasters today marks the day. The day we start hold our breaths and hope upon hope that Mother Nature will be kind. They come to our coasts with names like Katrina, Andrew, and Hugo. They huff and puff and blow our houses down. They flood our homes. They turn our interstates into parking lots. From one Emergency Worker to the people of my east coast city that I care for...leave when they tell you to leave. We cannot save you. I can tell you right now when the winds come we no longer run ambulances, fire trucks and police cars. The ambulances get sent to higher ground. Our supplies get locked up in a waterproof building. Our dispatch center gets shut down, so we have no radio contact. We hunker down, batten the hatches and ride out the storm. The local ERs close the doors. When I worked in the local Trauma Center, before they renovated it there was a line on the wall next to "The Board" . It was about three/four feet up. It was the "Water Line" from Hugo. There were stories from some of the RNs that spent the night in the satirwell feeling the building sway from the wind. So when they say leave, LEAVE.
We will not come. We are not there.
We will not come. We are not there.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
New Post! New Post! New Post!
Wow... it's been a while since my last real post. I apologize for that. Honsestly, it because my life really isn't that interesting outside of EMS. I have an ordinary life in which I do an extraordinary job. A job I love, a job I owuld do for the rest of my life if my body would let me, but alas, it will not. I have been struggling with it since I went out on injury back in March. I have made other plans...plans that I thought I would not have to make. Like going back to the Trauma Center and going back to school to learn something else. This has been an extreamly hard couple of months for me. I am normaly an active, hard working individual. And for the past three months I have not been able to do anything that I normaly would do. I have been inactive, gained weight and missed work terriblly. I have been receiving a paycheck thankfully, however it has been about half of what I have becaome to live on. Between rent and car payment ( I just bought a new Xterra back in September)I have nothing left for the creature comforts like cable internet, new clothes, groceries. I have never had to ask my parents for support other than like 20 bucks here and there and huge purchaces like tires for my car. But now I have been leaning on them alot for everything. So life has been a little bit hard. Thank god for my family. It could be a whole lot worse.
But other than that life has been fine. I'm working on getting back to work, I started PT last week. I can lift 15 lbs now. Hopefuly by the end og june I will beable to go back to the life I love. Only to leave again to start the second part of my life. a career change at only the age of 26. But it must be done I guess...
But other than that life has been fine. I'm working on getting back to work, I started PT last week. I can lift 15 lbs now. Hopefuly by the end og june I will beable to go back to the life I love. Only to leave again to start the second part of my life. a career change at only the age of 26. But it must be done I guess...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Music 2.3
Okay...I'm back with the music reviews. Oh the big names dropping albums this summer and oh boy, oh boy am I ready. This is my crack.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lafayette Cemetery No 1
This is a set on Flickr. I took these last year while in New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2005. They are kinda poor quality becaue I had already backed up my Nikon, so I just shot with my little point and shoot Elf. But They still, I think are pretty good shots.
Broken.
I was broken. And I don't know if I am fixed, or just patched back up with super glue and duct tape. ( we southerners know how do work some duct tape don't we) So today, I went to the local Technical College and spoke to the head of the Respiratory Therapy program. I am beginning to think that I will not be able to do EMS for much longer. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutly love being a paramedic. Never in my life did I ever think I would see the things I have seen. The life, the death, the gore. the things I have been a part of. Last year I birthed my first baby. It was in a small house on one of the islands. The whole family was there. And when I say the whole family, have you ever been to houses where the mama, daddy, sistas, brothas, aunties, the cousins, the grandmama, the granddaddy, great grands, the whole family lived on the same dirt road? That was this house. As we pulled up, we could hear the screaming. It was one of those steamy nights and all the windows were open. Right then we knew, we knew this was not going to be just a transport. We were going to be having a baby. The county sherriff was there, they met us at the end of the driveway. He looked like he was going to faint. Oh and I was the sole female. As soon as we walked in with our gear, and I got into postion, the baby was out. She was pretty, pink...perfect. I cut the cord, cleaned her up and gave her to mom. I have never seen a celebration like the one when that baby first screamed. Mom crying, grandmama hugging everybody within ten feet of her, including the paramedics, firefighters and the sheriffs deputy. All the sisters, she had seven, I think, hugging, crying, hollarin'. And the men, all of them out on the porch, for that was women's work in there, toasting the new daddy. Daddy came in as soon as he was told he had a baby girl, held his new daughter taking to her and mom. This baby, came into the world surrounded by love and family. As paramedics, we are surrounded more by sickness and death. That just the way it is now. We very rarely assist in childbirth, with all the modern medicine, prenatle care. And if we are birthing a child, it's a high risk birth or, the mom has had no prenatle care and the child is usually in distress. I hear more horror stories than ones like mine.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
Monday, May 08, 2006
another sleepless night
The other moring I wasn't able to get to sleep. It wasn't because of pain or anything. I just couldn't get to sleep. I tried everything, reading, soft music. I turned off everything TV Stereo. Nothing worked. So I ended up staying up ALL NIGHT. It sucked...but at sunrise I drove out to the beach and took some photographs. I got off about 200 pictures and when I got home, I went right to sleep. I just needed a little Nikon Therapy I guess. The photos below are some of them I took.
I'm still having pain in my low back and my hip. Sometimes its does go down to my ankle, but thats getting better. It's been raining here, so I haven't been able to get my walk in and I can really tell a differance when I don't walk. I tend to have more pain and I feel more sluggish. But all and all It's getting better. It's still looking to be mid June until I will be able to go back to work. I'm still scared I won't be able to go back to the job I love. I have been looking into becoming a respiratory therapist, that is if I am not able to be a paramedic. Even though I love my job, and it is by far the coolest job of all of my non medical friends, I don't to be a cripple with severe chronic pain before I'm 30.
Well it's 0330 and Im actually tired, as a normal person should be at this hour. So I am going to say goodnight...until next time
One more thing...what do we think of the new show on TNT "Saved"...about the paramedic with a gambling problem? Yall think it will be any good. It starts on June 12th. And also...why is it that Police and Firefighters are always these larger than life, heroic characters, while everytime a paramedic is portrayed, it is some severly damaged, broken, addicited, depressing
character?...ie.. Nick Cage in Bringing Out the Dead? Why is that?
I'm still having pain in my low back and my hip. Sometimes its does go down to my ankle, but thats getting better. It's been raining here, so I haven't been able to get my walk in and I can really tell a differance when I don't walk. I tend to have more pain and I feel more sluggish. But all and all It's getting better. It's still looking to be mid June until I will be able to go back to work. I'm still scared I won't be able to go back to the job I love. I have been looking into becoming a respiratory therapist, that is if I am not able to be a paramedic. Even though I love my job, and it is by far the coolest job of all of my non medical friends, I don't to be a cripple with severe chronic pain before I'm 30.
Well it's 0330 and Im actually tired, as a normal person should be at this hour. So I am going to say goodnight...until next time
One more thing...what do we think of the new show on TNT "Saved"...about the paramedic with a gambling problem? Yall think it will be any good. It starts on June 12th. And also...why is it that Police and Firefighters are always these larger than life, heroic characters, while everytime a paramedic is portrayed, it is some severly damaged, broken, addicited, depressing
character?...ie.. Nick Cage in Bringing Out the Dead? Why is that?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Healing the healer
I was driving home from my best friends house tonight after Grey's Anatomy, when I saw flashing lights in my rearveiw. Along with the flashing lights was the distinctive sound that I have grown quite familar with. As the ambulance went flying past lights going, siren blaring, I felt a twinge of want. I want so bad to be back. Even though our system is going through a real hard time right now. From what I'm hearing from my coworkers we are losing Paramedics on a daily basis. And the ones leaving are good paramedics, seasoned paramedics. Moral is at the lowest it's been since I have been there. Every day there is at least four to five open slots. Medics and EMTs are being called back into work, making them work 24-36 hours. They are exhausted, tired of working, missing thier families. And the more they are forced, the more people quit and then the more people we lose the more open holes, which starts the cycle all over again. And the Ivory Tower aren't listening to the street people so it's making it hard for everyone. The Special Teams like the TEMS and TRMT teams can't train because there is nobody to work for the team members. So in some ways I want to be back, but in others I'm glad Im out for so long.
Healing is boring. I got my staples out on Friday and Everything looksa good. I have most of the strenth back in my left leg and the numbness for the most part is gone. I do still have somepain in my hip and leg, but according to my Doc's PA thats normal. My nerve had been "squashed" (yes, he really used that highly medical term to describe my injury) for quite some time, and so I will have some pain for a while. But my surgeon is very optimistic that I will be back to work, in full capacity by the end of june. He was funny, the evening of my surgery, he can to my room and spoke to me and my Dad. He told me that he had to fix me becasue of the tattoo. I has a cadusas on my lower back, I got it after my last incident with my back, right before I started EMS. It was for protection. He said that he couldn't cut through the tattoo, because it would be "just wrong" so he cut perfectly around it. He told me he and his staff were insipred by the tattoo.
I fell better now. I'm still learning to remember not to bend over, and that I can't sit for too long. I look like an asshole driving because I have to have my seat leaned back so I'm not sitting straight up. If I can't lean back at at least a 45 degree angle I have to stand, so during poker night, I'm standing, during Lucky Number Slevin I'm standing in the aisle at the movie theater and during Sunday night dinner and TV at my friends house, still standing. It sucks, but until the scar tissue formed the disc can rerupture. And I want to see the back of an ambulance again. So good news though. The county has approved 17 new Stryker Stretchers. The elecrical kind. So next year we might be getting new stretchers which hopefully will cut down on injuries. well thats it for now. until next time...
Healing is boring. I got my staples out on Friday and Everything looksa good. I have most of the strenth back in my left leg and the numbness for the most part is gone. I do still have somepain in my hip and leg, but according to my Doc's PA thats normal. My nerve had been "squashed" (yes, he really used that highly medical term to describe my injury) for quite some time, and so I will have some pain for a while. But my surgeon is very optimistic that I will be back to work, in full capacity by the end of june. He was funny, the evening of my surgery, he can to my room and spoke to me and my Dad. He told me that he had to fix me becasue of the tattoo. I has a cadusas on my lower back, I got it after my last incident with my back, right before I started EMS. It was for protection. He said that he couldn't cut through the tattoo, because it would be "just wrong" so he cut perfectly around it. He told me he and his staff were insipred by the tattoo.
I fell better now. I'm still learning to remember not to bend over, and that I can't sit for too long. I look like an asshole driving because I have to have my seat leaned back so I'm not sitting straight up. If I can't lean back at at least a 45 degree angle I have to stand, so during poker night, I'm standing, during Lucky Number Slevin I'm standing in the aisle at the movie theater and during Sunday night dinner and TV at my friends house, still standing. It sucks, but until the scar tissue formed the disc can rerupture. And I want to see the back of an ambulance again. So good news though. The county has approved 17 new Stryker Stretchers. The elecrical kind. So next year we might be getting new stretchers which hopefully will cut down on injuries. well thats it for now. until next time...
Thursday, April 27, 2006
quick...quick...like a rabbit
just real quick... for those that are regulars to my little blog here. Surgery went fine. No complications, should be back on the streets by mid June... My spine doc is "very optimistic" that I soon will be doing ambulance acrobatics and getting spit on by the haters. I got a email from my cyclist, he too is doing well, ran a marathon just recently. Very proud. I still can't believe how well he is doing. I will do a more in-depth post soon. Im still hopped up on percocept, weening myself off. Only taking it at night. the staples are really sore and screaming to come out. Friday....they come out. till then...I will post soon
Friday, April 21, 2006
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Pictures from the edge
Okay I lied. I will do some more posts. My surgery isn't until Thursday and Its 0330 and I can't sleep. Ill post some more photos for your enjoyment.
Friday, April 07, 2006
The paramedic becomes the patient...
Well...it's official I am going under the knife. The paramedic becomes the patient. For those who don't read my little blog here, I have been out of work for a month and a half now on injury. I have ruptured another disc in my back. I ruptured one 11 years ago and now I have popped the one below it. Luckly, maybe, Well not really, because it means I did a number on my back, I am not having much in the way of pain, but I have significant weakness and numbness in my left leg. Walking with a slight limb, I feel like a cripple. So now many doctor's visits, ineffective injections, an ambulance ride, and one ER visit later, my doctor and I have desided that if I am to continue in my current line of work surgery is my option now. Trufully, I just want it fixed. I just want to go back to work. Surgery is scary, but I just want it fixed. I have been dealing with this for 11 years now. And now it's getting fixed. So after next week it might be a while for my next post...but I ll get back as soon as I can...until next time
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Back to Basics
I was watching "Grey's Anatomy" last night with a bunch of friends. Something we do every Sunday night. Dinner then "Soparanos" and the "Grey's'' Whatever... beside the point. Anyways...So in the show they were showing one of the interns (Cristina for those familiar with the show) and The Cheif were taking this class about Laperscopic surgery. Cristina, the intern, beat the Cheif with one of demitrations using the Laperscope. During the second one The Cheif was stitching the "patient" using the scope, all while doing it with his eyes closed. When Cristina asked how he did it he said not to Forget the Basics. This statement got me thinking...how many of us as Paramedics have forgetton the basics. How many of us have become flustered, lost our train of thought and forgot some of the basic assessment skills that we learned in our years of training. For years and years Airway, Breathing, Circulation. Disability, Expose...ect. was drilled into our heads. I have, my partner's have...maybe it was ignorance, maybe it was nerves, maybe it was arrogance, but it happens. My mama (the nurse) has always told me even if you have no idea what the hell is worng with your patient, you can always go back to the Basics...ABC. When you have a patient that is just SICK, sometimes that happens they are SAS (Sick as Shit) and need a doctor, not a paramedic, and you can't figure out WHY the hell they are SAS. Your fall-back is ABCs. Make sure your pt as an Airway, that they are breathing and that they have circulation. If they don't that is something you can fix, all w/o knowing the exact cause of SASness. This also works for trauma.
We have a great Head of Trauma Attending at our local Trauma Center. First off he respects the Medics, he know what we do and compleatly trusts us. Second, he trains his residents to LISTEN TO WHAT THE FUCK THE MEDICS SAY. I brought in a Fucked-up trauma, MVA 19y/o Head and chest trauma..oh and bilateral open tib fib fractures. Now, First thing we say when we walk into the Trauma Bays is "okay, Listen up, because we are only going over this once..." Because there is normall close to 20 people in the bay, everyone from Attendings to ER tects to RTs. And so hence you don't want to repeat your turnover 20 times. So Dr N. (the truama attending) was down there for this MVA...and he noticed a few of his residents were not listening. They were asking questions to us that we had already stated the answers too. And SOme others were examining the leg ( it being the bloody gore that draw in the interns) before even the primary assesment has been done. Right in the middle of the trauma Dr N. got up on the CPR stool and started yelling "OK people everybody STOP! We are missing something...Can anybody tell me what we are missing...No. Well for one thing...Can we please listen to the Medics. Contrary to popular beilf they are not just glorified taxi drivers. They are your eyes out there. They can tell you things...things that you need to know....like was your patient talking on scene, or was he always unconscious. Second thing....we have seem to have forgotten our ABCs...So lets start over...A...A is for........." a small voice came from one of the interns, "Airway?"
"Very good...Airway if you pt does not have a Airway lets fix that, Well it seems the medics have fixed that for us with the large tube shoved in the mans throat. Seems that B is also taken care of. But we still need to assess it. How are the Lung sounds?... is the tube properly placed? Did it get moved during transport?" If it has let's fix that"
"Good lung sounds, Equal and clear. No sound heard over the Epigastric" Stated a resident.
"Excellent...No what comes after Breathing...and no despite what the Nurses tell you, Foley cath does not come after Breathing.
"Circulation?"
"is that a question...or the answer Dr.whatever?
"Answer..."
"Good does your patient have a pulse and BP. If not let's fix that..."
He went on like this till about I think the letter T. I didn't know there was something for every letter. I just knew ABCDE...I also quit listening because I had a bloody unit to hose out.
So even doctors need reminding to go back to basic. We all do...it's easy to forget, you know with all the shiny, blinky ,boppy things we have access to like EKG monitors, CPAP machines, and transmitters of all kinds. We can sometimes get so wrapped up in transmitting that 12 lead EKG that we can overlook something else...And that something else can mean the all differance.
We have a great Head of Trauma Attending at our local Trauma Center. First off he respects the Medics, he know what we do and compleatly trusts us. Second, he trains his residents to LISTEN TO WHAT THE FUCK THE MEDICS SAY. I brought in a Fucked-up trauma, MVA 19y/o Head and chest trauma..oh and bilateral open tib fib fractures. Now, First thing we say when we walk into the Trauma Bays is "okay, Listen up, because we are only going over this once..." Because there is normall close to 20 people in the bay, everyone from Attendings to ER tects to RTs. And so hence you don't want to repeat your turnover 20 times. So Dr N. (the truama attending) was down there for this MVA...and he noticed a few of his residents were not listening. They were asking questions to us that we had already stated the answers too. And SOme others were examining the leg ( it being the bloody gore that draw in the interns) before even the primary assesment has been done. Right in the middle of the trauma Dr N. got up on the CPR stool and started yelling "OK people everybody STOP! We are missing something...Can anybody tell me what we are missing...No. Well for one thing...Can we please listen to the Medics. Contrary to popular beilf they are not just glorified taxi drivers. They are your eyes out there. They can tell you things...things that you need to know....like was your patient talking on scene, or was he always unconscious. Second thing....we have seem to have forgotten our ABCs...So lets start over...A...A is for........." a small voice came from one of the interns, "Airway?"
"Very good...Airway if you pt does not have a Airway lets fix that, Well it seems the medics have fixed that for us with the large tube shoved in the mans throat. Seems that B is also taken care of. But we still need to assess it. How are the Lung sounds?... is the tube properly placed? Did it get moved during transport?" If it has let's fix that"
"Good lung sounds, Equal and clear. No sound heard over the Epigastric" Stated a resident.
"Excellent...No what comes after Breathing...and no despite what the Nurses tell you, Foley cath does not come after Breathing.
"Circulation?"
"is that a question...or the answer Dr.whatever?
"Answer..."
"Good does your patient have a pulse and BP. If not let's fix that..."
He went on like this till about I think the letter T. I didn't know there was something for every letter. I just knew ABCDE...I also quit listening because I had a bloody unit to hose out.
So even doctors need reminding to go back to basic. We all do...it's easy to forget, you know with all the shiny, blinky ,boppy things we have access to like EKG monitors, CPAP machines, and transmitters of all kinds. We can sometimes get so wrapped up in transmitting that 12 lead EKG that we can overlook something else...And that something else can mean the all differance.
Friday, March 31, 2006
I was the patient...and it sucks
So heres the deal. Im still out on injury. Mostly because my back locked up on me last week, the day before I was gonna call my safety officer to tell him that the injection worked and I wanted to come back. Aparentlly the injection didn't work and I had to call an ambulance to take me to the ER. I couldn't sit bend or anything. All I could do was stand there and argue with my dad on the front lawn about calling my coworkers. I was yelling at him to "Just clean out the back of my truck and I will lay down. Finally after my left leg gave out I caved and I gave him the number to my supervisor. When the medics showed up carring all the gear I met them outside telling them to take all that crap back to the truck and I will walk to the unit. Which I did, then doing this great acrobatic move by holding on to the bars on the roof of the box to get onto the streatcher without bending. It truly was impressive. The medic taking care of me is one of our sarcastic medics who was telling me that when they were called the dispatchers didn't tell them it was me, only that It was non traumatic back pain (a call all medics dispise, anyone who says it isn't is lying through thier teeth) and it was out of the county. (I was at my parents house, which is out of my county). So to say the least he was put out till he found out it was me. Then all was well. So I was transported to the ER my mother works at, which frankly is where all the psychs, drunks and homeless go. But my mom was there so I had an excuse right? The medic transporting me was like "Seriously, you want to go there?" We did get pulled over by one of my off duty supervisors (who refers to me as "Trouble") who was on his way home and heard I was being transported. And I got a few visitors mostly curious medics bringing pts. And the on duty supervisor checking in. So three hours and 8mg Morphine, 10mg Oxycodone, 4mg of Ativan later I was able to atleast get up and was discharged.
So now Im out even longer. Going for yet another MRI tomorrow and then on the 5th find out what the hell they are gonna do to me. Really I hoping for surgery so I can just get it over with and get back to the sick and stupid. I have suggested that for my "light duty", I would like to be croassed trained as a dispatcher. But can a street nedic go to the dark side of the radio and become "The Voice" Hmmm, something to ponder while Im out. Until next time...
So now Im out even longer. Going for yet another MRI tomorrow and then on the 5th find out what the hell they are gonna do to me. Really I hoping for surgery so I can just get it over with and get back to the sick and stupid. I have suggested that for my "light duty", I would like to be croassed trained as a dispatcher. But can a street nedic go to the dark side of the radio and become "The Voice" Hmmm, something to ponder while Im out. Until next time...
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I'm irish. I bleed green
So another St Patty's Day has come a gone. Another holiday created for the sole purpose of drinking and acting like an idoit. Like I need a holiday for that, but that's another issue. So a friend of mine and I ran amok the city streets and then when the numerous cab companies wouldn't answer our phone call for a ride home we called one of our QRV (quick response vehicles, they are SUVs non transport) units who came a picked us up. Yes, we technically called an ambulance to drive our intoxicated asses home. In hindsight probally not the best choice but still better than the police...or the coronor...
I was also supposed to be cleared by the County EMS doc to come back to work, but alas I was found not "Fit for Duty" which by all accounts is most likely true. My back is not back to baseline. I still am having that irritating numbing pain down my leg. So I'm am to be out of work for another 2 weeks. Hopefully my Spine doc will find me fit after my next appointment. This is compleatly frustrating. I really do miss work. It gave me a reason to get up. Now, I sleep till noon and have nothing to do all day because all my friends are working. Because thats what normal people do. I sit at home a watch hours of Judge Judy, Oprah, and I love the 80s. What a dull little life I lead. Then by like 4 in the afternoon I go either to my parent's house or I wander around The City taking photographs. I have filled my 1gig card in my camera several times and my computer is slowing down because of all the uncompressed photographs. I miss working.
I was also supposed to be cleared by the County EMS doc to come back to work, but alas I was found not "Fit for Duty" which by all accounts is most likely true. My back is not back to baseline. I still am having that irritating numbing pain down my leg. So I'm am to be out of work for another 2 weeks. Hopefully my Spine doc will find me fit after my next appointment. This is compleatly frustrating. I really do miss work. It gave me a reason to get up. Now, I sleep till noon and have nothing to do all day because all my friends are working. Because thats what normal people do. I sit at home a watch hours of Judge Judy, Oprah, and I love the 80s. What a dull little life I lead. Then by like 4 in the afternoon I go either to my parent's house or I wander around The City taking photographs. I have filled my 1gig card in my camera several times and my computer is slowing down because of all the uncompressed photographs. I miss working.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Butter Beans
more photography for everyone's enjoyment. I've been snapping alot while I've been on leave. The walking around isthe only excercise I've been able to do till I get cleared to go back to the gym...or work for that matter.
Folly's Gates 3
I was playing with my Nikon D50 and long exposures. Something I had always wanted to try, but the expensive film and deveopling kept me from doing. I used to be in the group of photographers that belives that digital photography is not true photgraphy. But My D50 has let me experiment freely, with thigs like long exposures. The only altering I did to this picture was a slight contrast ajustment. other than that the colors are true. I am pleased with the results.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
multiple injections are no fun
I am bored. I am bored and on narcotics. Back injuries suck. I am out of work for another week and I can't really do much but lay here and type. But relief is in sight, I had my steriod injections today. Injections...plural...as in more than one. My MRI showed that not only had I aggrivated my old injury at L4-L5, but I had ruptured the disc between L5-S1, which is the reason I had the new pain. I hurt a new area. Now, still I am a freak of nature. I have pain but it's not the horrible, nauseating, curl up in the fetal postion and die kind of pain that my MRI suggested. It's more like an irritating ache with tingling in my toes that won't go away. I even have my spine doc perplexed. He wondered out loud how I walk, let alone do my back-breaking work as a paramedic without screaming in pain. I guess I can be called lucky because knock on wood I have a terrible injury, but the less invasive treatment of the injections work on me long term. Or at least they have in the past, so I'm hoping that this time will be no diffrent. I will be back at work within a week. For now, I will sit, enjoy the vicodin, rest, and wait for the okay to go back to the ambulance, go back to the gym, go back to living my life without the numbing pain in my leg.
Monday, March 06, 2006
watch your back
So I'm out on an injury. Well kinda injury. It all began 11 years ago when I ruptured a disc in my lower back. Lumbar region if I must be medically correct. I basiclly disinergrated the disc between L4 and L5. Being that I was 15 years old, my spine doc decided against surgery and went for the new, less invasive route with the injections. Now for those unfamilar with such things, they basiclly inject a steroid and epidural mixture in to the inflammed area and viola! no pain. Now they don't always work and the pain comes back withon days. With me however they work, and work well. I didn;t seak treatment for this again until I was 22. When I had my second and thrid injections, and again no pain...until anout two months ago. When I started having a twinge of pain that didn't go away, so I called up my spine doc and made an appointment. WHile I was waiting for my day to come I had a severe asthma attack. Now, what pray tell does an athsma attack have to do with my back pain. Well nothing really, but the prednisone I was put on for the asthma made the back pain go away. See the steriods don't just work on the inflammed lung tissue, they work anywhere there in inflamation, hence the pain in my low back went away. I was about to cancel the doctor's appointment, when I notice and tingling pins and needles sensation in my leg and foot (Left side only) so as a preventative measure I kept the appointment. Went and he sent me to get an MRI and I was to come back in a few days to get the results of the MRI. Now two days ago I woke up with severe pain, and I was supposed to go to work. Anyone who knows what my work entails knows I cannot work with a back injury. So hence here I am at home amd going stir crazy because I Can;t go anywhere because I hurt. and I can't work because I am hurt and I can;t go to the gym because I am hurt. And Im going nuts. But alas my follow-up appointment is tommorrow so soon I can go back to saving the sick and the stupid.
What fun.
What fun.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
What will they think of next?
I came across this over my internet surfing and thought it was a neat idea.http://www.ladyada.net/make/minty/
Mentally closing the ambulance doors
So everyone who is a paramedic or anybody else involved in public safety knows we bring our work home with us. It's impossible not too. We see the worst of humanity and we see the best. We see life, death, stupid and insane. We see blood, we see vomit. We get spit on and cussed at. And for the most part our friends are the same ones we work with. The same one who also spent coutless hours in the back of an ambulance, or driving a firetruck or screaming through intersections in a cop car. So it makes it impossible to leave our work at work. We vent, we need to vent other wise we would go compleatly crazy. We also make inapproriate jokes and laugh at inapproriate times. Things the normal sheep of humanity would not understand. They do not understand us. Even those who was love and care about who do not do this type of work do not understand. I don't care haw many episodes of ER, Grey's Anatomy, or Third Watch they say they have seen ( as a side note I am not allowed to watch any of said shows when my roomate it home becae I tend to yell at the TV when they do something wrong) I talk about wirk to my circle who don't understand, it can be frustratin actually, because you have to preface every story with the background, all theinformation about the acryonyms, the treatment. You can't just tell them you treated a MI with NTG, MSO4 and ASA, or the your CVA patient was unresponsive or that he was having psuedo-seizures. You have to tell the back story and that makes for a very LOOOONG story. Fuck. So when a group of paramedics get together for say poker and tequila we talk about work. The long hours, the fucked up trauma, the compleatly and udderly crazy bitch that was singing Ace of Base we had in the back of our truck.
Now, here comes the relief. We call it the time-out helmet. The time-out helmet is a blue, kevlar helmet that gets issued to the TEMS team. (TEMS is the super secret squirrl Tactical Medic Team that go out with the SWAT teams) The rules are if at said poker night that you talk about work for more than eight minutes you have to wear the helmet, for at least 45 mins OR until the next dumbass talks about work. Sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't especially if one of us has had a bad day. But for the most part it keeps us from talking too much, for the helmet is heavy and you look ridiculas with it on. So that helps.
Also you have to mentally close the ambulance doors. Slam them shut as you leave the station. Bang on the doors like they do on TV, and watch it drive away. And with it the death, the sickness, the crazy, the stupid. You have to let it go.
Now, here comes the relief. We call it the time-out helmet. The time-out helmet is a blue, kevlar helmet that gets issued to the TEMS team. (TEMS is the super secret squirrl Tactical Medic Team that go out with the SWAT teams) The rules are if at said poker night that you talk about work for more than eight minutes you have to wear the helmet, for at least 45 mins OR until the next dumbass talks about work. Sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't especially if one of us has had a bad day. But for the most part it keeps us from talking too much, for the helmet is heavy and you look ridiculas with it on. So that helps.
Also you have to mentally close the ambulance doors. Slam them shut as you leave the station. Bang on the doors like they do on TV, and watch it drive away. And with it the death, the sickness, the crazy, the stupid. You have to let it go.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Music Beta. Version 2.2
More 30 second reviews of my new music purchases
Jack Johnson and Friends
Sing-alongs and Lullibies for the film Curious George
Alright...I love Jack Johnson and I really love Curious George. That little monkey brings back memories of being read to as a wee little lass, along with Goodnight Moon, Harold and the Purple Crayon, and Goose Goofs off, but now I'm getting off subject, Anyways this is a fun little album. Innocent in a little kid kind of way, like the tracks "The Sharing Song" about you guessed it sharing and Three Rs" Reduce, Recycle and Reuse, A perfect compainion to the new movie about that curious little monkey and The Man in the Yellow Hat (I wonder how many more times I can say little in this review). He got some of his friends guesting on it Including Ben Harper, Matt Costas, and G Love. Favs include "Broken", "People Watching" and the White Strips Cover "We are gonna be Friends".
****1/2
KT Tunstall
Eye to the Telescope
Tunstall said it best herself, this is "Acoustic Folk Rock Girl Stomp" What fun. This Scottish import is great. Love Her...WhooHoo
****
Now frankly I haven't bought much full albums is a while. Mostly just random tracks from iTunes, however I have also discovered the podcast, a bit late I know. I have been procratinating on my acting packet listening to The Answer Bitch and SPINsider. And I have to say the Answer Bitch is quite funny, entertaining, wonderful, all of the above and I love her little bitchlings (her interns).
Thats it for me until next time...
Jack Johnson and Friends
Sing-alongs and Lullibies for the film Curious George
Alright...I love Jack Johnson and I really love Curious George. That little monkey brings back memories of being read to as a wee little lass, along with Goodnight Moon, Harold and the Purple Crayon, and Goose Goofs off, but now I'm getting off subject, Anyways this is a fun little album. Innocent in a little kid kind of way, like the tracks "The Sharing Song" about you guessed it sharing and Three Rs" Reduce, Recycle and Reuse, A perfect compainion to the new movie about that curious little monkey and The Man in the Yellow Hat (I wonder how many more times I can say little in this review). He got some of his friends guesting on it Including Ben Harper, Matt Costas, and G Love. Favs include "Broken", "People Watching" and the White Strips Cover "We are gonna be Friends".
****1/2
KT Tunstall
Eye to the Telescope
Tunstall said it best herself, this is "Acoustic Folk Rock Girl Stomp" What fun. This Scottish import is great. Love Her...WhooHoo
****
Now frankly I haven't bought much full albums is a while. Mostly just random tracks from iTunes, however I have also discovered the podcast, a bit late I know. I have been procratinating on my acting packet listening to The Answer Bitch and SPINsider. And I have to say the Answer Bitch is quite funny, entertaining, wonderful, all of the above and I love her little bitchlings (her interns).
Thats it for me until next time...
Monday, February 13, 2006
Slow shift
It was a full moon last night and I'll be damn if we didn't transport a single patient yesterday. Three calls and nobody needed a ride to the hospital. I geuss the cold is keeping everyone inside. The firemen were busier than we were. It's been a slow couple of shifts, so that probally means a bad call is over the horizon. That how it works for me we have slow shifts then BAM a sick as shit patient. I aslo am finishing up my acting crew cheif packet so that by March I will be Acting. They want to put me in charge of a truck, what are they thinking? But I will say my partner is helping me with it. He is pushing me to be more self confident in my decision making, which is my flaw as a medic. I tend to rely on my crew cheif partner alot for decisions on transport ( should we or shouldn't we) or whether or not to treat really aggressivly on those patients that fall into that grey area of sick ( you know, yeah they might be sick, but are they so sick as to treat with all the drugs and other goodies in my arsonal, or can I make it to the hospital and let he MDs figure it out. I know my fellow medics know what I'm talking about). I have the skills down, my drug calcs need some work. I'm an artist damnit not a math whiz. But my medicine is usually right on. At least that what all my evals tell me.
I also got my tax refund which is nice because this past check was really short as I did not have any OT on it because I had a few sick days when I was down for the count with a really heinous cold. I even had some of the cash let over to buy myself one little new toy. An iPod. I had an older iPod but the click wheel quit working, so I upgraded to a new video one. I must say it is a cool little thing. I named her Lolita for she is a slick, sexy black as opposed to my old white one who I had named Lola after a Kink's song. I'm a big ol' geek I know. I really need professional help. But simple pleasures amuse simple minds.
I also got my tax refund which is nice because this past check was really short as I did not have any OT on it because I had a few sick days when I was down for the count with a really heinous cold. I even had some of the cash let over to buy myself one little new toy. An iPod. I had an older iPod but the click wheel quit working, so I upgraded to a new video one. I must say it is a cool little thing. I named her Lolita for she is a slick, sexy black as opposed to my old white one who I had named Lola after a Kink's song. I'm a big ol' geek I know. I really need professional help. But simple pleasures amuse simple minds.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
My days off
well it's getting longer and longer between posts and I apologize. I have been expressing my creativity through other outlets recently and had a serious case of writer's block. I am reaching the end of my 8 day streach off. It's been nice, not having to think about whether or not I was going to have to dodge spit, supervisors, and any other myrid of substances that can possible get tossed at me during any given shift. I haven't even thought about my Acting Crew Cheif package for a week. I have just wondered what bottle of Yellow Tail will I be enjoying tonight. Tonight's choice the Shiraz. I have also been watching hours of the CSI francise. All of them...For hours...I just finished season three of Miami. I'm such a geek. I could sit here and tell yall all about the pors and cons of all three. I have also become a champ of the Horacio Caine Drinking game.
I also spent the weekend running amock in Atlanta GA. My best friend and I were going to go to see Brandi Carlile play at some hole in the wall joint, however the show sold out before I could get tickets. But we went anyways and saw some of her old friends and my family. I also spent a weeks pay at Ikea. Who needs electircity when I have this fabulous new duvet, right? My BFF and I take these raodtrips occasionally. Our last one was basiclly us getting in the car and driving south till we felt like stopping. We ended up in St. Augustine FL. This time we planned on see this show, but even though it was sold out we still went and hung out with my wonderful cousins. These are the same cousins that banked my trip of New Orleans last year for Mardi Gras. Took care of my plane ticket, hotel at a five star hotel on Canal Street, and pass to the Endymoin Ball at the Superdome. All just so I could go with them and expereince the whole Mardi Gras. They are wonderfully generous when it comes to me...and my friends.
I also spent the weekend running amock in Atlanta GA. My best friend and I were going to go to see Brandi Carlile play at some hole in the wall joint, however the show sold out before I could get tickets. But we went anyways and saw some of her old friends and my family. I also spent a weeks pay at Ikea. Who needs electircity when I have this fabulous new duvet, right? My BFF and I take these raodtrips occasionally. Our last one was basiclly us getting in the car and driving south till we felt like stopping. We ended up in St. Augustine FL. This time we planned on see this show, but even though it was sold out we still went and hung out with my wonderful cousins. These are the same cousins that banked my trip of New Orleans last year for Mardi Gras. Took care of my plane ticket, hotel at a five star hotel on Canal Street, and pass to the Endymoin Ball at the Superdome. All just so I could go with them and expereince the whole Mardi Gras. They are wonderfully generous when it comes to me...and my friends.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Flying off the building
This is my dumbass sliding down a rope from 5 stories up. I really enjoy my job. We had TRMT (rope team) training the other day. We spend the day building a sloping highline using a flying W. What fun. It's like a giant zip line like we used to play on at the river. I was also issued my gear for the team. with my compentancies done I am now an active member, no longer in training staus. Which is cool cause now I get to go on call outs. They mostly consist of calls at the ports and shipyards. We do more confined spance than high angle, seeing that there isn't too many high structures in The City. I also spend last shift with my "angry" partner. He was in a bitchy mood all shift. But I am learning to embrace his bitchiness and just take him with a grain of salt, since we do get along so well. I think if I was not friends with him to begin with I would have to stab him in the throat sometimes. Today is also Inservice day. I would just skip it because I worked last night, but alas it's a mandatory HAZMAT inservice. We get to sit through hours of fun learning the same bullshit we learned at last year's HAZMAT inservice. WIth one diffrence. The City Police department is going to build a meth lab in the county building and teach us all about reconizing a meth lab. You would think this to be an easy task, however we had a lab bust a few years back in a very afluent part of town. We were called to a Shortness of Breath and stumbled upon a Meth lab put together by several medical students from the local med school. So it just goes to show you anybody can whip up a batch of Meth in their own homes.
For the most part it's been business as usual. Asthma attacks, old people falling, and psych patients trying to leap from bridges. One of our local Psychotics tried that yesterday. She tends to jump from smaller bridges, not to kill herself, but for the thrill of tying up several local resources for her own entertainment. However she threated yesterday to toss herself off the Big new bridge. We were called, but were cancelled when the police tased her dumbass and pulled her from the edge. I know several of them just wanted her to jump and get it over with. She is violent, a spitter, has psudo seizures (so she can get Ativan), attacked several EMS workers and has the life span of a cat. She is not welcome at at least 2 of the ERs because she escaped from one, ran into the woods, shot herself with a crossbow in the stomach. Where she got a crossbow is beyond me. It's not like she could sneak in into an ER. The other she assaulted several nurses and tried to stab them with hyperdermics. She's a pleasure.
I love my job...I love my job...I love my job
Saturday, January 14, 2006
You ask...I answer
I got two questions in the comment section of my last post and I was going to answer them in the comments section but it is kinda a long expliantion so I will make a post of it. The first one hase to do with response codes that we use in my system. We have six diffrent response code that we use. The response designations are used for what we were told is "priority dispatching". Apparently when the 911 call comes in the dispatchers ask certian questions pertaning to what ever the call is about. Like for instance a MVA call they (the caller) would get asked "how many vehicles involved "is there anyone trapped in the vehicle" and "is the patient awake" And how the questions are answered is how they designate the response code. Alpha is for very minor things they we would not run code to like a lac or sick party with no prioridy symptoms. Bravo and Charlie are for like minor MVAs with injuries and ABD pains. These we run code to. Delta is stuff like unreponsives, entraptments, SOB and CP, these are most likely a bit more serious. And Echo is for like cardiac arrest or uncertian breathing type of situations. CAT one type of things. The only diffrence we see on the streets is Alpha which we dont run hot to and Bravo,Charlie ect...which we do. there is also an Omega reponse, which is hardly used it kind like an Ultra Alpha call, public assist kind of thing So it's more for the dispatchers and their record keeping and helps them deterime if say fire or police need to be dispatched with us. It does kinda let the street people know how serious the call could potentially be. you could have a bravo reponse CP, which is not as serious according to thier questionaire as say a Delta reponse CP. Now of course this all depends on how the caller answeres the questions. They might know the rules of the game and know the right answeres to get a bus there quicker. ..or so they think. Some of our county is also cover by QRVs or Quick response vehicles. These are SUVs that are not transport units. There a manned with one paramedic crew cheif. Some of the popluation referes to it the as "The No Go Truck" as in you ain't going nowhere. They are used either as a first reponder for bad calls, or as a medic called to basiclly bullshit Alpha calls that doesn't need transport. It helps keep the transport unit 10-8 for potentially real calls.
As for the second question....It has to do with our shifts. We have 15 transport units that cover our entire county. Of the 15, 7 are 12 hour trucks, 7a-7p and 7p-7a. These are the busy trucks that cover the city and north area. Their call volume can shift from 5 calls in 12 hours to as many as 15+. The Downtown truck is the busiest, I have run 15 calls in a night a few times. The shifts are like Sat, Sun, Mon your work your12 the off Tues, Weds, then work Thurs Fri. The next week it swtiches. You have 12 hours off between your shift days working. The other 8 trucks are 24 hour shifts. You work 24, off 48. These are the outlying, slower trucks. Some won't turn a wheel all shift and some might run 10 or 12 in 24 hours. Really depends on where you are. The colser to the city the more calls you run. As for what makes a 12 hour truck depends on call volume. They count how many calls you run during your shift in a 6 month period. If you run more than a certian number consistanyl for severl 6 month periods the truck goes from a 24hour truck to a 12. This dosn't happen very offen. All but 2 trucks have a station. We have 2 roaming trucks that cover all over. Like if the three north area trucks so out the they send one of the roamers there same goes for the south districts and so forth. The stations are all like mini apartments with kitches and bedrooms and we are allowed to asleep on duty. To help with fatugue on duty sometime crews can switch out with slower trucks so that they can rest. Like if you crew member worked 24 hours on a faster truck and then picked up a 12 OT shift they can go out to the islands and sleep for a couple hours. We cannot work more than 48 hours on a slow truck or 36 on a fast one. and you have to have at least 12 off between each stretch. Like I just got off a 36 hour shift today. I can't be forced back in until tommorow morning. And being Forced is a whole other monster of it's own. That would take me another whole page to explain. But basiclly it's foced overtime. We can get called back into work. And there is 12 pages on it in the policy manual. Lists and rules and all kinds of shit. Too much to try and explain here. So thare you have it. The answers.
As for the second question....It has to do with our shifts. We have 15 transport units that cover our entire county. Of the 15, 7 are 12 hour trucks, 7a-7p and 7p-7a. These are the busy trucks that cover the city and north area. Their call volume can shift from 5 calls in 12 hours to as many as 15+. The Downtown truck is the busiest, I have run 15 calls in a night a few times. The shifts are like Sat, Sun, Mon your work your12 the off Tues, Weds, then work Thurs Fri. The next week it swtiches. You have 12 hours off between your shift days working. The other 8 trucks are 24 hour shifts. You work 24, off 48. These are the outlying, slower trucks. Some won't turn a wheel all shift and some might run 10 or 12 in 24 hours. Really depends on where you are. The colser to the city the more calls you run. As for what makes a 12 hour truck depends on call volume. They count how many calls you run during your shift in a 6 month period. If you run more than a certian number consistanyl for severl 6 month periods the truck goes from a 24hour truck to a 12. This dosn't happen very offen. All but 2 trucks have a station. We have 2 roaming trucks that cover all over. Like if the three north area trucks so out the they send one of the roamers there same goes for the south districts and so forth. The stations are all like mini apartments with kitches and bedrooms and we are allowed to asleep on duty. To help with fatugue on duty sometime crews can switch out with slower trucks so that they can rest. Like if you crew member worked 24 hours on a faster truck and then picked up a 12 OT shift they can go out to the islands and sleep for a couple hours. We cannot work more than 48 hours on a slow truck or 36 on a fast one. and you have to have at least 12 off between each stretch. Like I just got off a 36 hour shift today. I can't be forced back in until tommorow morning. And being Forced is a whole other monster of it's own. That would take me another whole page to explain. But basiclly it's foced overtime. We can get called back into work. And there is 12 pages on it in the policy manual. Lists and rules and all kinds of shit. Too much to try and explain here. So thare you have it. The answers.
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