I was watching CNN the other night and they had a story that worried me. Letting family in the ER during treatment. And what they were talking about was not having your mom back as they put in a couple stiches in your finger, but in the TRAUMA BAYS and RESCUSSITATION ROOMS while the medical staff do what what these highly trained medical professional do. They attempt to raise the dead. Anybody who works in the Emergency field knows this is not a calm, quiet place...It is raw medicine. Tubes, cathaters, defibs, blades, fluid and blood.
So why I ask, why would we want to let the families in to witness, what they so should never witness. Whould you want to see the ER staff thumping on your family member's chest, cutting open the side of their chest to shove in a tube. I'm sorry this is just not the place for a grieving. They have a room for that it called "the family room" This is where the hand holding chaplin can support the greiving family in the proper way. Away from the blood, away from the chest thumping, away from the oranized chaos that is a trauma bay.
Also, the hospitals that are trying this are also telling us the public that there will be a nurse explaining to the pt family what is going on. WHAT! Really what ER nurse could even take the time to do this. In the many taumas I have worked the nurses are to busy "Saving the man's life" to hand-hold through a rescussitation. I am not saying that ER nurses are these hard-ass, non caring people, they aren't. They are caring, to the patient, that is bleeding to death on the stretcher. But the ER is refered to as "the Pit" for a reason.
I think people in this age of shows like "ER, House, Grey's Anatomy and now Saved" think they know whats going on behide the closed ER doors. What they see is not always what you get. The actors are always the right color and they always get brought back to life. TV is so kind. a little CPR mix in a little bit of drugs and viola they are alive. In real life, it isn't so clean cut. We could shock after shock, plunge in tube after tube. There is mangled limbs and blood. Its not the sterial world portrayed on TV. This is not the place for a hyserical family member...or even a calm one. They need to stay out.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I get to go back
So back to ambulance acobatics for me. I have been found Fit for duty after almost 4 months of "Healing" So Sat. back I go. Now I'm going to spend the next week or so relearning how to drive code and yelling at people who refuse to move out of the way of an oncoming ambulance. Which, by the way is my pet peeve. Let's all say it together "When you hear the sirens and see the lights, move to the right" ...and don't give me the finger. I'm not trying to piss you off, I'm trying to get to a dying person. At least that's what they tell me.
I'm quietly optimistic about returning to the physically draining job of postponing the enveitable. I still have some pain in my hip and leg, which according to my spine doc is going to hang around for a while because of how long the nerve was irritated. And I have been told that I should never be quiet about calling for help whether it from the FD or my partner.
I'm quietly optimistic about returning to the physically draining job of postponing the enveitable. I still have some pain in my hip and leg, which according to my spine doc is going to hang around for a while because of how long the nerve was irritated. And I have been told that I should never be quiet about calling for help whether it from the FD or my partner.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Just tell them I died
If I have to hear one more tele-marketer ask if my roommate, or her husband, or her father or her cat is home, I swear, I'm gonna go fucking postal. They start the shock and awe at 7 fucking 30 in the morning. Nobody who knows me calls my house at 7 fucking 30, unless someone had died. Well I have one friend who did, but that was only once and they know better now. Plus thats what I have voicemail for. I'll call them back when I get up at 2 in the afternoon.
But really, who are these people and why do they insist on calling every single day from o'dark thirty till almost 10 in the evening? What is so important that they are selling? Are they hocking the meaning of life, the chicken that lays the golden eggs? How many times do you have to tell them that you aren't interested, to take you off whatever list you have been so unlucky to have been added too before they get the fucking clue that SERIOUSLY! I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Sorry, I just had to vent.
I'm not interested, really I don't care what the meaning of life is. I'm not that existential.
But really, who are these people and why do they insist on calling every single day from o'dark thirty till almost 10 in the evening? What is so important that they are selling? Are they hocking the meaning of life, the chicken that lays the golden eggs? How many times do you have to tell them that you aren't interested, to take you off whatever list you have been so unlucky to have been added too before they get the fucking clue that SERIOUSLY! I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Sorry, I just had to vent.
I'm not interested, really I don't care what the meaning of life is. I'm not that existential.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Disclaimer...
I have been found. After writing for almost a year a local blogroll has found me. They say nothing but kind words, so I don't think I'm offening anybody. If I am please, let me know. I might not care, but you can still let me know. The system I work for is a great system. I wear my paramedic patch on my arm with pride. The job I do for my city is hard, sometimes thankless, back breaking work. But I love it. I also enjoy writing my blog. Letting the public into my world, a world of sometimes dark and sometimes enteraining, but always interesting stories and people. Because of the nature of the job, my writing sometimes walks a fine line. I feel that if anything is wrong or if I let on too much, I would be told. I was told once to delete a post that gave too much. Which I did the moment I was told.
So right now, Im gonna take this post and repeat what I say in my profile. I change, alter or compleatly leave out ALL idenifing information about patients, patients family, medical info, even places. Also all opinions are mine and mine alone. I hope that some of what I say is representation of the system I work for, We are a group of kind, caring people. Yeah, we do sometimes have a twisted sense of humor. But really, look at what we do, we have to or else we couldn't see what we see, do what we do, without going nuts. So feel confident, lowcountry, we know what we are doing. The paramedics that are in the back of the ambulance with your mother, father, daughter, son are highly trained medical professionals. Treat us as such is really all I ask of you, the public we care for. So Enjoy my blog...
So right now, Im gonna take this post and repeat what I say in my profile. I change, alter or compleatly leave out ALL idenifing information about patients, patients family, medical info, even places. Also all opinions are mine and mine alone. I hope that some of what I say is representation of the system I work for, We are a group of kind, caring people. Yeah, we do sometimes have a twisted sense of humor. But really, look at what we do, we have to or else we couldn't see what we see, do what we do, without going nuts. So feel confident, lowcountry, we know what we are doing. The paramedics that are in the back of the ambulance with your mother, father, daughter, son are highly trained medical professionals. Treat us as such is really all I ask of you, the public we care for. So Enjoy my blog...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Saved
I mentioned this several weeks ago at the end of a post. For those who don't know. Saved is a new show on TNT about the life of a urban paramedic. Alright...here's my take on it, it's TV people. I've read some heated posts on some other EMS mesage boards on how it portrays the job of a medic...a T-shirt wearing, gambling addicted, sex-in-the-back-of-the rig fuck-up of a son- paramedic. I might be in a monority in my line of work, but I happened to like the first show. Yeah, its a bit shaky writing and there were a few screw-ups like the medic not wearing gloves during a childbirth (yeah, thats really really gross) and giving Verapamil during a full arrest (This, I don't really know if thats wrong or not as my system does not use Verapamil, but its used to lower BP if I remember right, don;t full arrest already have low BP, so correct me if Im wrong, but why would you give this during a FA?), but what brand new show hasn't worked out all the kinks? Remember the first season of ER...or CSI? And as for the sex in the box, all I can say is yuck, thats one of the grossest places on earth, no matter how much germiside you use, but Im getting off subject. The humor was great, even if it was a bit outrageous. When the lunitic stole the truck, screaming over the loud-speaker, singing the song "Love Machine" I fell off the sofa. It was funny, I just kept trying to figure out how I would explain THAT to the on-duty supervisor. "Well, he took it, sir. No we didn't stop him. Well, because he was already on Calhoun Street and to be quite honest I can't run that fast. Can we LSD a whole ambulance or do we have to list everything indiviually?" (side note: a LSD is our Lost-Stolen-Damaged form) They did a great job portraying a relationship between partners. These partners are people you are in a cab of an ambulance for a good 1/3 of your time, who would know you better? I don't even spend that much time with my own family. In a sense, these people, like it or not, become your family. The see the same things you see, they feel the same feeling you have, they understand you. You do become close, that is, if you like the guy. I can tell you from experience, that my good partners, the ones that I respect, know me better than people Ive known for years.
Now as for the public opinion of medics because of a TV show, I'd rather be portrayed like the guy in Saved, than that of Nick Cage in "Bringing Out the Dead" He was depressing. Yeah, we all "see ghosts" driving by that house that we worked our first Cardiac Arrest, that first SIDs death, delivered our first child, got our first tube, worked that grusome trauma victim that was missing... something. But there is also humor in our job, we do get to play. I have alot of memories of just playing around. Like the post waking up a Skel, hanging out with the PD, playing with the K9 in a parking lot. When the city opened the New Bridge my partner and I sat at the base of the bridge sitting on top of a Fire Truck watching the fireworks with all the fire guys. Its not always rushing around, sometimes its just sitting still.
So to every one of us that refuses to watch the show because "it shows paramedics in a bad light", it's really not that bad. You might even *gulp* like it. Its entertainment, just like CSI doen't really show Crime Scene Investigation correctly all the time, or Grey's Anatomy's Seattle Grace Hospital doen't really exist.
Now as for the public opinion of medics because of a TV show, I'd rather be portrayed like the guy in Saved, than that of Nick Cage in "Bringing Out the Dead" He was depressing. Yeah, we all "see ghosts" driving by that house that we worked our first Cardiac Arrest, that first SIDs death, delivered our first child, got our first tube, worked that grusome trauma victim that was missing... something. But there is also humor in our job, we do get to play. I have alot of memories of just playing around. Like the post waking up a Skel, hanging out with the PD, playing with the K9 in a parking lot. When the city opened the New Bridge my partner and I sat at the base of the bridge sitting on top of a Fire Truck watching the fireworks with all the fire guys. Its not always rushing around, sometimes its just sitting still.
So to every one of us that refuses to watch the show because "it shows paramedics in a bad light", it's really not that bad. You might even *gulp* like it. Its entertainment, just like CSI doen't really show Crime Scene Investigation correctly all the time, or Grey's Anatomy's Seattle Grace Hospital doen't really exist.
Monday, June 12, 2006
What a girl wants...
I was reading through a few other blogs that regularly read. Some EMS releated some photography, some just random thoughts on life in general. One of the EMS bloggers made an intresting point. What would I want as a patient? It wasn't that long ago that I was the patient in the back of the box. The EMT that cared for me in the back was kind and joked around with me. Sarcastic and funny, though I was in pain, he kept my mind off of it, or at least tried. We had a ride along that was a fire fighter, who also was kind. We as medics sometimes forget that the people in the back of our truck are in fact...people. Even the Skels, gomers and crackheads, still are people. I am even guilty of this. Sitting behind the pt in the jump seat typing away on the computer, working on the run sheet, not paying attention except to look up once and awhile when the monitor beeps at me. Any medic who says otherwise is lying.
I have, as many us of have, thought of getting tattoos with things like DNR, no RSI unless you have done it sucessfully at least 5 times in the past year, C Spine me me and I will jump off the board and kick your ass, take me to MUSC and a list of people who under no circumstances can touch me. Call another crew, you suck.
Things I would want in my medic is really just three things:
Compassion, If you don't have it, learn to fake it, and fake it well
Competancy, really... know how to do your job. I don't want an incompetant medic giving me a dose of Succs and Etomidate.
Communication, If I'm dying, tell me I'm dying. Don't just say well..."something is strange here" Explain what you are doing. From IVs to difib to CPAP, most of the things we do is painful and uncofortable. Warn me before you scream CLEAR! and hit the button.
Now, to the patients....things to remember...
We have most likely been on the job for 12-48 hours, imagine having a shift that was two days long. Two days we haven't slept in our own bed, seen our familes or possible haven't eaten much in the form of real food.
In those 12-48 hours we have lugged 80 lbs of gear and a 200lb stretcher up and down stairs and down narrow hallways. If we ask you if you can help us out by walking to the front door to the stretcher, it not because we are lazy, its because we lost use of our arms in the first 12 hours of our shift.
Come to the first floor and to the biggest, most open room. It not only makes our job easier, but the faster we can get you into the box, the faster you get the treatment you need. I had one pt who took their dying family member out of the back bedroom and dragged them out the front yard. We scooped and ran. I was able to put the pacemaker on this woman within seconds of her "cardiac episode", thus saving her life.
Please don't spit on me, I will have you arrested, no matter how crazy you are. Spitting is a conscious activity, you know you are doing it and it's nasty.
Please, Please don't say things like "it's because she black, hispanic, russian...whatever" I work as fast as I can no matter what color you are. Black, white, green and really fast if you're blue. Don't be ignorant.
Yes, I will be riding in the back with you family member. I might even perform advanced medical care.
We are people too
Crack counts as a drug, so does Pot.
Don't lie to me. When I ask if you have used drugs or ETOH its no because I just want to know, its because I could give you something that might react with it and KILL YOU! or You may be unconscious and your friend can tell me what you took so I can give you something that might SAVE YOU. Sometimes I can tell anyways like when you sit, vibrating on the beach seat and your heartrate is 160. I hate being lied to, it makes me want to put in an inter-occular IV.
Last, but certainly not least, No you can't hit the button...
I have, as many us of have, thought of getting tattoos with things like DNR, no RSI unless you have done it sucessfully at least 5 times in the past year, C Spine me me and I will jump off the board and kick your ass, take me to MUSC and a list of people who under no circumstances can touch me. Call another crew, you suck.
Things I would want in my medic is really just three things:
Compassion, If you don't have it, learn to fake it, and fake it well
Competancy, really... know how to do your job. I don't want an incompetant medic giving me a dose of Succs and Etomidate.
Communication, If I'm dying, tell me I'm dying. Don't just say well..."something is strange here" Explain what you are doing. From IVs to difib to CPAP, most of the things we do is painful and uncofortable. Warn me before you scream CLEAR! and hit the button.
Now, to the patients....things to remember...
We have most likely been on the job for 12-48 hours, imagine having a shift that was two days long. Two days we haven't slept in our own bed, seen our familes or possible haven't eaten much in the form of real food.
In those 12-48 hours we have lugged 80 lbs of gear and a 200lb stretcher up and down stairs and down narrow hallways. If we ask you if you can help us out by walking to the front door to the stretcher, it not because we are lazy, its because we lost use of our arms in the first 12 hours of our shift.
Come to the first floor and to the biggest, most open room. It not only makes our job easier, but the faster we can get you into the box, the faster you get the treatment you need. I had one pt who took their dying family member out of the back bedroom and dragged them out the front yard. We scooped and ran. I was able to put the pacemaker on this woman within seconds of her "cardiac episode", thus saving her life.
Please don't spit on me, I will have you arrested, no matter how crazy you are. Spitting is a conscious activity, you know you are doing it and it's nasty.
Please, Please don't say things like "it's because she black, hispanic, russian...whatever" I work as fast as I can no matter what color you are. Black, white, green and really fast if you're blue. Don't be ignorant.
Yes, I will be riding in the back with you family member. I might even perform advanced medical care.
We are people too
Crack counts as a drug, so does Pot.
Don't lie to me. When I ask if you have used drugs or ETOH its no because I just want to know, its because I could give you something that might react with it and KILL YOU! or You may be unconscious and your friend can tell me what you took so I can give you something that might SAVE YOU. Sometimes I can tell anyways like when you sit, vibrating on the beach seat and your heartrate is 160. I hate being lied to, it makes me want to put in an inter-occular IV.
Last, but certainly not least, No you can't hit the button...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
It's Alive!
I found my new favorite place in Ctown...The unitarian church's graveyard. It truely is the graveyard time forgot.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Hurricane Season
To my fellow East and Gulf coasters today marks the day. The day we start hold our breaths and hope upon hope that Mother Nature will be kind. They come to our coasts with names like Katrina, Andrew, and Hugo. They huff and puff and blow our houses down. They flood our homes. They turn our interstates into parking lots. From one Emergency Worker to the people of my east coast city that I care for...leave when they tell you to leave. We cannot save you. I can tell you right now when the winds come we no longer run ambulances, fire trucks and police cars. The ambulances get sent to higher ground. Our supplies get locked up in a waterproof building. Our dispatch center gets shut down, so we have no radio contact. We hunker down, batten the hatches and ride out the storm. The local ERs close the doors. When I worked in the local Trauma Center, before they renovated it there was a line on the wall next to "The Board" . It was about three/four feet up. It was the "Water Line" from Hugo. There were stories from some of the RNs that spent the night in the satirwell feeling the building sway from the wind. So when they say leave, LEAVE.
We will not come. We are not there.
We will not come. We are not there.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
New Post! New Post! New Post!
Wow... it's been a while since my last real post. I apologize for that. Honsestly, it because my life really isn't that interesting outside of EMS. I have an ordinary life in which I do an extraordinary job. A job I love, a job I owuld do for the rest of my life if my body would let me, but alas, it will not. I have been struggling with it since I went out on injury back in March. I have made other plans...plans that I thought I would not have to make. Like going back to the Trauma Center and going back to school to learn something else. This has been an extreamly hard couple of months for me. I am normaly an active, hard working individual. And for the past three months I have not been able to do anything that I normaly would do. I have been inactive, gained weight and missed work terriblly. I have been receiving a paycheck thankfully, however it has been about half of what I have becaome to live on. Between rent and car payment ( I just bought a new Xterra back in September)I have nothing left for the creature comforts like cable internet, new clothes, groceries. I have never had to ask my parents for support other than like 20 bucks here and there and huge purchaces like tires for my car. But now I have been leaning on them alot for everything. So life has been a little bit hard. Thank god for my family. It could be a whole lot worse.
But other than that life has been fine. I'm working on getting back to work, I started PT last week. I can lift 15 lbs now. Hopefuly by the end og june I will beable to go back to the life I love. Only to leave again to start the second part of my life. a career change at only the age of 26. But it must be done I guess...
But other than that life has been fine. I'm working on getting back to work, I started PT last week. I can lift 15 lbs now. Hopefuly by the end og june I will beable to go back to the life I love. Only to leave again to start the second part of my life. a career change at only the age of 26. But it must be done I guess...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Music 2.3
Okay...I'm back with the music reviews. Oh the big names dropping albums this summer and oh boy, oh boy am I ready. This is my crack.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lafayette Cemetery No 1
This is a set on Flickr. I took these last year while in New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2005. They are kinda poor quality becaue I had already backed up my Nikon, so I just shot with my little point and shoot Elf. But They still, I think are pretty good shots.
Broken.
I was broken. And I don't know if I am fixed, or just patched back up with super glue and duct tape. ( we southerners know how do work some duct tape don't we) So today, I went to the local Technical College and spoke to the head of the Respiratory Therapy program. I am beginning to think that I will not be able to do EMS for much longer. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutly love being a paramedic. Never in my life did I ever think I would see the things I have seen. The life, the death, the gore. the things I have been a part of. Last year I birthed my first baby. It was in a small house on one of the islands. The whole family was there. And when I say the whole family, have you ever been to houses where the mama, daddy, sistas, brothas, aunties, the cousins, the grandmama, the granddaddy, great grands, the whole family lived on the same dirt road? That was this house. As we pulled up, we could hear the screaming. It was one of those steamy nights and all the windows were open. Right then we knew, we knew this was not going to be just a transport. We were going to be having a baby. The county sherriff was there, they met us at the end of the driveway. He looked like he was going to faint. Oh and I was the sole female. As soon as we walked in with our gear, and I got into postion, the baby was out. She was pretty, pink...perfect. I cut the cord, cleaned her up and gave her to mom. I have never seen a celebration like the one when that baby first screamed. Mom crying, grandmama hugging everybody within ten feet of her, including the paramedics, firefighters and the sheriffs deputy. All the sisters, she had seven, I think, hugging, crying, hollarin'. And the men, all of them out on the porch, for that was women's work in there, toasting the new daddy. Daddy came in as soon as he was told he had a baby girl, held his new daughter taking to her and mom. This baby, came into the world surrounded by love and family. As paramedics, we are surrounded more by sickness and death. That just the way it is now. We very rarely assist in childbirth, with all the modern medicine, prenatle care. And if we are birthing a child, it's a high risk birth or, the mom has had no prenatle care and the child is usually in distress. I hear more horror stories than ones like mine.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
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