Genius, Just Genius

Okay, So eveyone by now has seen those commercials for Vonage, that broadband phone company, right? If you haven't the general premise of the ad is People do stupid things, like chop down a tree that falls onto thier car or they throw a bat through a plate glass window. And the theme song is this whoohoowhoohoo song (it was also a song used in Kill Bill). Okay, so today during monthly TRMT (technical rescue medical team, see "Dangling and hanging" and "I'm just a girl" posts for more info) We had a Vonage moment. See our training today consisted of "rescuing" a patient from a tree. They had to get the dummy hoisted up into the tree before we could rescue it, so they (and I use they because the genuis idea I'm about to illustrate was the boys' idea. Me and the only other girl on the team were only bearing witness to this madness.) decided that the best way to get the rope over a branch about 30 feet off the ground was to tie a large wrench to the end of the rope and toss it up and around the branch. So we all got our helmets on, I mean we are throwing wrenches up into the air. The other girl and I set up two lawn chairs and sat and watched as the boys hurled wrenches at this tree. We had a pot going on how many times it would take to get the rope around the tree. (I said 25 times, I lost by one.) Now this was some of the best entertainment I had in a while. Watching them as the huttled around each other like they are working out a football play or sometime. Even so often one would stop, toss it and miss, then they would all huttle around again figuring out the laws of physics this was going to require. After about 45 minutes of tossing the wrench, one stated that the rope was to heavy to heave up high enough, so they switched to several large sockets and a long peice of webbing. Finally getting it up there we were able to hoist the dummy up. We made our pully systems and it was now my turn to be pulled up into the tree. I get in my harness, which is most uncomfortable. And they hook me into the system and hoist me up. I then have to pick the 200 lb dummy and get him hooked into my harness, which in itslef is a feat. As they were getting me down they genuis boys wanted to change something on the gground so they kept me hanging for like an hour with my harness cutting up into my crotch (I am so glad I was born female) with my left leg stradling the dummy's neck and my right leg underneath my ass. I think it was position # 47 in the Cosmo last month. So I sat up there, took a nap and waited for whatever they were fixin to be fixed so that I could get down.

Clusters of Madness

Wow...We were busy yesterday. I did a shift switch with another medic, so I worked his shift yesterday, so I am off today. Thank god I'm off today I don;t think I could handle anymore people. 11 calls in less than 12 hours. And these people were sick. Actually sick. Well the first call they weren't however it was kinda humorous. I was 3 minutes late for work. I woke up at 0530 and hit the snooze button, what I thought was once, however when the alarm went off again it was 0640 and I had to get dressed and drive to work in 5 minutes, which was doable because the station I was working is two blocks from my house. But I had to pack up my stuff for the shift like I was moving in and get all my shower stuff together. So that took the extra 3minutes I had to spare after I got dressed. SO I get there and immediately get a call ( hurray for bedhead, I need a shower).. MVA...Car vs house....yep he was in the house alright, this particular house has been struck by a vehicle at least three times in the past six months. It's just in a bad place with no protection from the traffic flow. The car he hit first was slung through a fence and came to rest in a driveway, t-boning a parked truck, which had a man in it. We had six patients all of them High School students. And they kept wandering around the scene. I didn't know who I had treated and who I hadn't and then the parents started showing up so that distracted the kids even more. I finally got on the PA in the truck intructing "Anyone involved in the accident who wants treatment get over to the ambulance, NOW!" I finally got them lined up next to the truck and then the police officers started calling them over. I told then "STAY PUT! Don't go anywhere" Then looked at the cop and told him to "Give me just a minute to let me get vitals and information and then you can have them, But as of right now they belong to me."
"Yes'um"
"Thank you"
Damnit. We finished up with that cluster of a call, got back to the station, I got in the shower. Mid shower get a call. Go...Go again...And again...And again x5 more. Total of 11 calls and that was just the first 12 hours. The second half consisted of 5 more. All sick, most of them unconscious. Goddamn, I was happy to get off that truck.

Im sicker than you...

I gotta stop working so much OT. This is getting a bit ridiculous. I just worked a 36 hour shift with terrible allergies. I feel like crap. I think I was sicker than my patients this shift. Sneezing for 36 straight hours kinda works your nerves after a while. My nose is running and stopped up at the same time. Even the firemen that work at my station are like you look like shit, why don't you go home?. EH...All in a days work I guess. I think I would not be as bitchy if the patients we saw actually needed an ambulance. I worked nonstop the night before last and not one of then needed me. Two assaults, two "chest pains" and one "Shortness of breath with fluttering in chest". The shortness of breath was the last straw because...One the fucker lied to me...Two he wasn't short of breath and three it was at 0430 in the AM. If you're going to call me at o'dark thirty for an ambulance, don't lie to me when I ask have you been drinking or doing any illegal drugs. (he smelled of ETOH and had been doing cocaine all night) And a least PRETEND to be sick. Do not just sit on the stretcher and suck your teeth at me when I ask you questions. Show me the respect I show you, you lowlife. You called me REMEMBER! I'm getting fed up with the not sick and stupid...So that means a good call is coming. It's when I completely lose all patience that I get a call that reminds me why I do what I do. Why I put up with the bullshit and low pay. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that somewhere, sometime I am going to get a call that puts it all in perspective. Until then I have to put up with teeth sucking, not sick, and 4am calls for nothing.


PS...anyone know of a good sites to get EMS related programs for PDAs?

On Being Green

There are several sayings in EMS, like "it's not my emergency", "never do anything you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics later", and my personal favorite "Paramedics save lives, but EMT's save Paramedics" My first crew chief taught me that one. She said it after a bad call in which I was able to catch something that she had overlooked. It was something simple, something in the Basic Life Support department. We, medics sometimes get so wrapped up it doing the advanced medicine that we sometimes forget the Basic stuff. One of my pet peeves is Paramedics who develop this god complex and think they are above their EMT partner. I recently worked with a Paramedic who spoke very harshly about one of newly hired Basics, who is very green, however very sharp and always asks a lot of questions. The Basic was my relief one night after working with this medic, and she asked me if she could vent a bit. As she spoke of being very nervous during calls and how she really didn't know her place, I was brought back to when I was first hired as a brand new EMT. I had the same feelings. I shook my way through my first calls, hell, even now, I still shake through some of the bad ones. I told her that my voice sometimes still cracks when I give an encode to the hospital, especially if it's a sick patient. Since she is a part timer, she has had to work with many different crew chiefs and she said that was hard for her not working with the same partner. She was worried because every partner wants things done different ways...Like some carry all the gear into the house, some just carry a drug box. She got all worked up because she has worked with some of the most asshole of Medics, she kept saying how stupid she felt. I calmed her down, telling her that even I get freaked out, I'm still a bit green myself. I showed her how to set up things like the nebulizer and the CPAP machine. I told her most medics expect the basic EMT partner to put the patient on the monitor. If she works with a good Medic, not only will they show her how to work the 12 leadEKG correctly, they will show her what they are looking it, especially if it's interesting. I told her to ask alot of questions if she didn't understand. And that eventually it will all come to her. She will be able to do it without thinking. I hope I made her feel better. I still remember my first days. It was the hardest two weeks of my life, not counting the 14 months I spent in paramedic school. (but that was hard for different reasons). I was constantly being yelled at about my driving. And running code, and not blowing through intersections without clearing them first. Everyone has their strenths and their weakness. My just happened to be driving the unit. Hey, I was used to driving a compact car....What can you expect from me?

calling out

I felt bad...literallt. However I also felt bad that I had to force someone. I called out sick for the first half of my shift. I had a killer migraine yesterday. One that forced me into the ER last night. The MD at the hospital gave me some strong pain meds, that basiclly keeps me unresponsive for many hours. So just a precaution I called out sick. And according to policy, if one does not come in for shift and it's not covered then whoever worked the shift before is forced to work. It sucks and I hate calling out sick anyways. In fact It's been such a long time since I've called out that I did not know who to call out to. See, our system has since added 2 new supervisor positions. So now we have three new districts that the three superviors seperatly take care of. So when it came time to call out, I had no idea who to call. I had to call dispatch and find out. Any ways, so I spend all last night doped up on Dilaudid and Tylox. What a wonderful way to spend an evening. I really can understand how people become addicted to this stuff.

Full Moon

Work sucks. Not really, but yeah kinda. I think its only becaue I enjoy what I do for the most part that I can tolerate it for as long as I have. Any other normal person would have already said "oh fuck this." The long hours, the low pay, the lack of respect from patients make the job hard. And since I'm dealing with a partner who I have a few problems with, it makes for long hours. And the fact that the problems arn't really something that one can really talk about, I mean you can;t just say "Just shut the fuck up and quit making lame excuses." At least without sounding like a compleate bitch. I have come to the conclusion that it's because he is very insecure with himself that he feels the need to keep talking about how much he has seen and done, so that you will be impressed with him. I really could care less if people, well people as a whole, are impressed with me. Yes, I have a few of my co workers that I want to, not impress, but think good about me and my practice of medicine. To think I'm a good medic, someone they would not mind if I responded to their family. I think every medic feels that though.

Last night was the night of crazy bitches. One who not only was a psych, but also a a victim of an assault. She would not speak to any males on scene, including the Police Officers. And at one point she quit speaking to me, only speaking to the female detective. I felt a bit helpless, I wanted to help her, however not knowing what she was going through, or really knowing the right questions to ask, it made it hard. I just was kind and held her hand when she asked me too. And I am not a hand holder. The next call was a psuedo-seizure patient with signifigant psych history who called EMS because she "felt like she was going to have a seizure." This was at 0330. Other than that it was a slow night.

Then I had inservice in the AM. It was short and I learned all about OB/GYN emergencies. I know child birthing is supposed to be a miracle and abeautiful thing. But have you ever seen a baby being born? It's gross. The thing is slimy and hard to keep a good hold on. But It's still kinda cool I will admit.

No more overtime for at least to weeks. I've been working too hard. I will spend my days off doing absolutly nothing. Just enjoing the weather and trying to stay out of an ambulance.

PS. Just as a side note the new truck's name is Tallula Belle.

the butterfly

beautiful isn't it?

too much

It's been awhile since I posted, for no other reason but that I have not much to really ramble about. Been Working way too much OT, but I have a big ol' car payment now so work is my life. However, I am taking the week off from OT.

I have a new partner while my regular partner is healing after geting struck by a car while riding his bike. He's fine, just going to be out of work for a bit longer than I had hoped. So for now I am working with one of those know-it-all Medics who has seen and done EVERYTHING and proceeds to tell me stories I could care less about on how at his last job he was able to do much more advanced procedures and how I am going to have to help him basiclly "dumb his medical practices down a bit" because he is so much more advanced than I. I think it is wonderful that you were able to fly in to New Orleans after the hurricane and save thousands of lives with just a peice of twine, a couple of bandages, and your over advanced wits. Medics like this drive me batty. I honestly don't really care that in your last system you worked in you were putting in chest tubes and sternal IOs intead of regular ol' IVs. And yes I think that being a flight medic is very cool and I hope to be able to do it someday, but I don't want to hear about from an over confident medic who thinks they can save the world all by themselves. I am a competent medic, I do my job and I do it pretty damn well. Don't walk all over my toes because you think that you are so much better than I am because you just spent the last year as a flight medic. I think you need to calm your ass down, and relize that its's not always about you.

In other news one of my good friend from High School is getting married and I get to be a bridesmaid...oh how exciting. In fucshia...and I've have been told that I must get a spray-on fake tan because apparently I am too pale ( I am Irish, I have china-doll skin, I don't tan and I look rediculas with one) and I have to cover up my tattoos with some stuff I've never heard of that I'm probally allergic to. But whatever, I'll do it to make her perfect little wedding go off without a hitch, however I will not be paying for any of it. Im going to have to buy a $200 dress that I will never wear again. So if she wants to turn me from the pale, tattooed white trash that I am into a barbie doll she can put up the funds. I'm waiting for the "you are going to have to lose weigh" speech. In which I will reply a big "What the Fuck?" Oh...and its a dry wedding. But My best friend , who is the maid of honor,and I have been coming up with creative solutions around that little problem.

Wow...Im realy hateful this AM...Sorry...No not really

Here she is...well part of her

I got her. Finally...I got her yesterday. She is beautiful and wicked fast. Now all that needs to be done is naming her. I'm open to any suggestions.

Strike one...Strike two...Strike three...And I'm out.

I've just gotten home from a long 48 hours. I have now figured out the four overtime shifts in a pay period (two weeks) is just too many. I can only take some much rudeness and stupidity before I lose all compassion. Now I will say the first 12 hours of the 48 was very nice one call. And it was actually somebody who needed an ambulance. I can't remember what it was, just that they were sick. Its been too much after that to recall the details of your first call of almost 20. People can however be extremely rude to EMSers, especially at 0330 in the am. Called to a 25 y/o pregnant woman at 330 in the morning, who by the way is one her SEVENTH pregnancy, for contractions. Now she called us because of the labor pains. The girl had already been to L & D once that day. She left AMA earlier because she was afraid they were not going to feed her. SO she came home instead of waiting. Now one...The L&D staff would not let her go hungry and two...I guess she forgot, SHE CALLED US. There is no need to be a nasty rude bitch to the paramedics. She refused to answer any of our questions, she just sucked her teeth at us. Look here bitch, I know your pregnant, I know your tired, but we have to know what the fuck is going on so that we can help you. YOU CALLED US, we didn't;t just decide to show up on your doorstep at o'dark thirty for our fucking health. Oh...And she had about seven Medicaid cards belonging to her six children and herself. Instead of just finding hers, she just threw the whole stack at us, saying "It's in here, you need it, you find it."

So that was strike one.

Strike two came at 2230 last night when the police called us for a psych at the Huddle House. The man was acting erratically, eating off of other patrons plates and refusing to speak. So with the assistance of the police and one of our street supervisors we were able to get him into the truck, restrain him, and transport. Now everything was fine until we encoded the hospital. The patient had an old hospital ID bracelet in his pocket, so he thought just to take him back to the hospital he came from. Well apparently that's not how it works, at least according to the hospital. Now EMS policy states that if the pt has no preference to take the patient to the nearest facility, however the ID bracelet clued us in to the fact he was a a patron of a certain hospital, so we took him there. When the MD answered the radio, he questioned why the patient was in restraints, why the police were no longer with us and why the patient was coming there. I answered all of the questions and when I asked it there was any orders I got dead air for like 5 min. They were ignoring me. And the longer they were silent the more angry I got. After asking several times if they had any more questions/ orders, they finally came back and bitched me out over the radio. And then again at the hospital. The only thing I said was "If you have a problem I can give you my superviors cell number and you can speak to him" to which I got the response "What the hell will that fix?"
Well not a damn thing tonight, but atleast it will go on record as being a problem that we bring patients to your hospital. As a side note the ER staff and security reconized him as a frequent flyer to that particular hospital. Even my mother who has been an RN at that hospital a short time, coming from the city's pediatric ER, knew who he was.

So strike two...

Now strike three was a thirty year old crack whore with CHF and on dialysis, She smoked $200 worth of crack rock and then became short of breath...Well DUH. However she was nice and polite so only the fact she is just stupid, and I had already had had enough for just two days is the reason she made my list.

Strike three and I'm out.

So now I'm going to crawl into my bed and sleep until 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

I've been working my ass off. 36 hours in uniform. My uncomfortable polyester uniform. Well at least until today when we were able to wear a cotton polo shirts as a summer uniform. But Oct. 1st marks the day that we have to go back to normal blue shirt with silver rank and name tag. So anyways...back to the post...I worked hard for 24 hours running 9 calls. Nothing really of note, except for a 19 year old who wrecked her car in a ditch. We pull up and she is laying supine on the ground right outside the car in the grass. I walk up and she looks up at me, " Uh...Can I get up now?"
"Well...do you have pain in your neck?"
"No."
"Do you have pain in your back?"
"No."
"Then yeah. You can get up off the ground."
"Cool because only my arm hurts."
As she gets up I see why her arm hurts. She has turned her left upper arm into hamburger meat. It was not abrated, it was not lacerations, it was chewed up....and bleeding hard core. She was completly calm, I guess the pain had not set in yet. We wrapped her arm up and took her to the trauma center and she was fine. So it was an uneventful night. Then Ispent 12 hours out on an outlaying truck. So I spent the day shift sleeping and watching Family Guy.

This was the first night in almost a month I was able to go out. So I went out drinking Gin until was could not walk and had to call a cab to drive my drunk ass home.