Thursday, December 29, 2005

Music Beta. Version 2.0 or My favorites of 2005

Now I know some of the albums came out earlier than that of 2005, So fuck off. I know, so there is no need to tell me. I discovered them (the albums not nessasarly the band) this year. So These are the albums that have taken over my iPod this past year.
God I love iTunes.

Rachael Yamamgata
Happenstance

What a wonderful debut album. Some songs, like "Letter Read", are reminecent of Fiona Apple. Others, like "1963", sound like Norah Jones. But her voice and lyrics are truly unique and all her own. These are songs made for slow Saturday mornings. With beautiful piano and strings, the melodies build a perfect little frame for her voice. Check out "I Want You" and "Meet me by the Water" But I will say I love every song on the album.


Frou Frou
Details
Imogen Heap
Speak for yourself

I put these together because "Speak for Yourself" is Heap's solo album. Frou Frou is her band, well its not really a band its a pair. But whatever. Both have very similar sounds. Ghost like voice over top an electronic sound. Electronica is no longer cold and icy. But now has heart. Good lyrics. Great sound. All around a very well done effort. If you are a fan of Jem or Dido check Imogen out.


Death Cab for Cutie
Plans

"I want to live were soul meets body"

This band's fifth effort makes me believe people can still put out good music. It's not all linsay lohan, britney spears crap. Thoughtful lyrics. Well done Death Cab. I do tend however to like their last album "Transatlaticism" a bit more. But still an awwsome CD. I can listen to it over and over.


Rilo Kiley
More Adventerous

I know, I know this came out in July of 2004. But I'm still going to put this on my top of 05. Try and stop me. I love the lyrics, the political comentary. By now yall have heard "Portion for Foxes" ("Im bad news") because it's been a song on Grey's Anatomy. Oh yeah, and their live show is just a good as the albums. I heart Jenny Lewis.


Audioslave
Out of Exile

Never have Chris Cornell sounded so good. The sound still has some Rage Against the Machine's undertones. But Cornell has transformed that band and made a sound that is truely awsome. This album has taken over the spot that RATM had when I paint and listen to loud angry music. My favs include "Bee Yourself", "Doesn't Remind Me" and "Man or Animal"


Foo Fighters
In Your Honor
Disc 1 and 2

Can the Foo's ever put out a bad album? Not even word to explain how fucking bad ass this is.

The Killers
Hot Fuss

"I got soul, but I'm not a soilder."

Kick ass debut. And I'm not normally into glam emo rock, or whatever you want to call it. Brings back memories of an ex who LOVED David Bowie.


Stereophonics
Language, Sex, Violence, Other

"Thinkin' bout thinking of you..."

Perfect driving album. Kelly Jones' deep raspy voice and hard guitars makes an incrediably sexy combination. Wonderfully hard and thoughtful. Memorable tracks include the single of the summer "Dakota", "Brother" , and "Pedalpusher"

Weezer
Make Believe

I love Weezer, even if their lead singer is a fucking lunatic. Rivers's two year of celibacy aparently means that they can make good music. From the radio friendly "Beverly Hills" to the drug indused lyrics of "Freak Me Out" this album is fantastic from start to finish.

So these are my 10 favs of of 05. There are many, many more, but I only feel like writting 10 really short reviews. Check these out.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My christmas present

Well then...the holidays are now coming to a close. And What I have left with is a maxed out credit card and a brand new camera. My father went all out this year. What I asked for was a small point and shoot Digital camera. Nothing too fancy. What I got was a Nikon D50 digital SLR. Something I wanted but didn't want to fork over the bank for a new camera body. According to my mama, my daddy bought like four diffrent cameras, one just slightly more advanced than the next until he settled on the Nikon. Every photographer has a preferance on cameras. Some, like my dad, prefer Canons, some Pentax, I am a Nikon girl till the end. They are easy to use and easy to find lenses and other accessoiries for. I was not expecting this at all, so imagine my surpirse when I opened a small heavy box Christmas morning to find a new Nikon. Unfuckingbelivable. Now one mistake was made. my dad thought that my 30year old manual lenses that I have for my 30 year old Nikon (Julia is her name) would work on the new digital. Not so muuch. It works in the fact that I can take pictures, however there is no light metering and my apperture settings are wrong. I would have to guess on all of my exposures. So my dad being that he was so proud of himsef for the nice surprise of the camera, and then the sheer let-down that the lenses I have didn't work, he immediatly got on B&H's website and ordered me a brand new AF Nikkor 18-55mm lens. I also got a few other small things like a copy of "Harold and the purple Crayon" ( book from my childhood that was read to me almost as much as "Goodnight Moon"), and a Van Gogh book. A new mixer because I burned out the motor on mine making sugar cookies. All and all a fabulous holiday. Expect lots of photographs posted as soon as my new lens comes in.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Happy Holidays.




Merry Christmas to all. Hope the hoildays are bright for your families, hope for no calls for those working and if you do have to run calls, go forth and save a life for christmas.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Stupid Medic Tricks

Wow, I had a dumb medic moment last night. Now every one of us has an off day (or night in my case). So we get called to a Severe Respiratory Distress at 0400. Not a time when I am on my A game to begin with and then walk into an actual sick patient who is really having respiratory distress. Now in the four short years I have been in EMS (less than one of them as a paramedic) one of the things I have learned is that calls at 4am are one of two things: complete and udder bullshit or fucking sick. This old woman was the latter. Now walking in the small apartment you could tell she was fighting to breath. I listened to her lungs and she was very very diminished and what I could hear was wheezes. She stated she had asthma and had been short of breath since this morning. She had been taking her Advair all day, and of course that didn;t help, as that Advair is a treatment not for acute onset. I loaded her up and she was still very short. I get her in the back of the ambulance noticing the swollen legs and the enormous bag o meds she had. One of the pill bottles had the label for furosomide (Lasix or Water pills as they are also know) Still that didn't tip me off that what was going on was not asthma. ( like I said dumb medic moment) SPO2 still in the 80s, still fighting to breath. And of all things to forget we have on the ambulance now I forget that we now have access to CPAP. Yes, I forgot. It's fairly new to us and I completely forgot. Plus I was still treating Asthma not CHF, which is what was clearly going on with this woman. However we were two minutes from the hospital, so I start a quick treatment of albuterol for the wheezes and encode the hospital. Now of course the Blood pressure monitor isn't working and she moving so much that a manual pressure is impossible. Everything I tried to hear it all I got was an earfull of diesel engine and siren. And of course the hospital keeps asking me what the pressure is and, well I don;t have one. Finally I palpate a shitty way off pressure. Give them that. And we pull into the hospital. I have no IV, given no Nitro, and forgot about the CPAP. So I felt about two inches tall. And to make it worse the MD on duty HATES medics, thinks we are all incompetent boobs. And he tell me she is in Florid CHF, which I have no ideas what that means. (it apparently means she be real full up) so then I felt really stupid. I did everything I could just to get the hell out of the hospital. I felt stupid and angry at myself that I missed it. I had suck tunnel vision that I didn't see the forest for the trees. Now I know everyone was a bad day, but being a medic your bad day can turn into a death. She didn't die, she was fine. As soon as we pulled into the ER they had the BiPAP ready and everything was good. I am not normally this retarded. I know the treatments. I know my meds. I just had a bad call, made a bad call and tow minutes from the hospital doesn't give much time to think, especially when the nurse on the other end of the radio is yelling for a pressure. I got this AM and called my mom. Being an ER nurse she understands what goes on in the streets. She knows that everyone makes mistakes, we are not always perfect. She told me, so you made a mistake and forgot something. The next time you won't make that same mistake.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

You mean he's really sick?

Well...I had my first real kinda live sick patient in two months. In the past two months I have been dealing with flu-like sympotoms times three days, fevers, sore throats, bullshit chest pain secondary to crack intake, spitters, depressed suicidals, ABD pains from too much egg nog, drunks, and anything that the police department calls us for. The poilce seem to think drunk is a medical emergency. Hell, I was drunk three days ago and I didn't need an ambulance. I needed a taxi and Advil. Anyways, back to my sick man. He was a fairly young veteran, 52 years old. The call had come out as Respiratory Distress secondary to Asthma. We were met outside by several police officers, a young male officer I have known since my days working the the ER comes up to me while I grap the airway bag and computer and says "B, He's got some kind of growth on his neck, I have never seen anything like it and he's bleeding...bleeding alot."
"So this isn't a Shortness?"
"Shortness, where the hell did you get that?"
"Our dispatchers told us this was asthma."
"Well I 'm not the meidcal expert you are, but I don't think this is asthma."
So I put the airway bag back and grabbed a trauma box and a D-tank. My partner was already in the house. The front door is a peice of plywood and there is another door to the immediate left. The doors swing in the oppisite directions so you have to close one door to open the other. (this detail about the doors is important in the extrication od the patient from the residence) It is a tiny one room apartment where these two best friends live together. It reeks of cheap booze,cigars and the metallic scent of blood. A small black and white TV blares on the floor. The paient is sitting on the blood soaked bed being supported by his buddy. He is damn near dead, unresponsive with no radial pulses. He friend tells us what happened. The large tumor on the mans neck had split open and had started squirting blood. The man was covered in it, as was his buddy. His friend had tied a tee shirt around the wound and was holding pressure on it. "M..M..Miss ambulance lady...It just started bleeding...I...I...I Put this on it, but it just wouldn't stop. Y..You help my friend? I felt for my patient and I felt for his friend who even though was somewhat intoxicated knew to call 911 and knew to put pressure on the wound. He had a look of sheer panic in his eyes. I gathered all the infomation I needed from the buddy while my partner called for the fire ddepartment. The extrication from the house was gonna be tough because of the way the doors lined up. And the fact he was COVERED in blood. So the fire department showed up and we wrapped him up in what is refered to as a "Shit Taco" ( a huge fluid proof yellow sheet) And carefully carried him out of the house. We get him in the back of the ambulance and he is still only alert to pain. I lay him back and throw his legs up in hopes to bring his pressure up somewhat. The wound had quit activly bleeding for the most part. It was still slightly oozing. The first offical Blood Pressure was 72/44. He had shit for vascular access. I tried 6-7 times for a line my partner tried twice. My second pressure since putting him the trendelenburg was 92/50 and he was starting to wake up a bit. If you hollered his name he would look up at you. After trying for several lines I just look up at my partner and tell him to just get me on the road. He needs a central line and blood. Cat Two, please and ER's channel. High flow O2, High flow diesel is all I can give him. By the time we arrive at the hospital he is more awake and starting to fling blood around the box. I learned from the hospital that the tumor had started out dime size about six months ago and he had refused all surgery. It was now the size of a large grapefriut.
The rest of the night was uneventful, a broken leg, a drunk and a weak all over.

Also of note I had my court date for the speeding ticket. Reduced to two points and $77 fine. Accoding to the judge I could have just called, I didn't have to drive all the way out there to get it reduced. Apparently the arresting officer had told him that he had told me that. Which he hadn't of course. I couldn't even get the courts phone number out of the officer....damnit

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Goat Rape

I know it's getting longer and longer between post, but my excuse is not much as been going on that is blog-worthy. Well until the other day. I learned that my little city on the east coast is one of the top cites on the vunerable lists for attacks, due to the fact we have the 2nd largest port on the east coast (NYC, I want to say is the largest, maybe Savannah, or Boston), we also have a Navel Weapons Training center and a large Air Force base. We also have the largest Cable stay bridge in North America. I learned this because we had a "surprise" county-wide Haz-Mat WMD terrorist drill. But let's call it what it really was... a big ol' fashion goat rape., as most of these type of drills are known as. Now I know it's kinda supposed to be so that emergency responders know what the weaknesses are and how they can fix them before the Big One happens, but shouldn't be a Surprise type of thing. We already had six ambulances ready and running before it started, as were the Special Ops teams already on suited up. In real life none of this would be ready. What I think should of happened is that yes tell us a drill is going to take place sometime during the day, have the special Ops teams on stand-by, But have that the only information that is released. Not the times, not the places, just that it's going to happen at some point. Then when it starts, do the ring down of the teams and other emergency workers to staff the medical, fire and police vehicles needed. That way the response times of getting the response vehicles, trailers and busses 10-8 and ready can be recorded somewhat realistically. But what do I know, Im just a paramedic. SO it started and first thing right off was that the dispatcher (who did a wonderful job, even though she is a part-timer who normally plays in the streets as a paramedic) received wrong information on where the first incident was so they sent us, the medical support, to stand-by at one location to wait for fire and port authorities to "clear" our scene and set up the zones and Fire got sent to a totally different location. It took almost 30 minutes to clear up that there was, at this point, only one incident. Not our fault, not fires fault, not even the dispatchers fault. It was the fault of one person who gave the wrong info to us. So we got that cleared up and we were sent to the right place. Now all the while the mix-up is being fixed two more "incidents" happened at two more locations so we were being dispatched to all of these different locations. From what we got on the street, the different accidents were to train the different agenties what they were supposed to do. One was to train the Fire department, One for the Medical teams, and one was more aimed toward police and SWAT. I was at the Fire's Haz-Mat incident. So we really did not have patients per-say (we had like two) but we were to do the entry and exit exams for the Fire department. So the senario was that a container at the port had been dropped, was smoking and leaking something and the the port people had readings of radiation and explosives. Not many injuries of bystanders (like I said two), this was more geared toward the fire's HazMat response. Now the fire guys were actually suited up in there HazMat gear, were on SCBAs and the whole thing so entry and exit exams needed to be done. The fire department we were working with, unlike most of the department were work with, has a problem working with EMS. SO They had already suited up an were working before we could do our exams. Then when they were told nobody else could go into the hot zone without exams, they bitched and complained. I had one guy yell at me because he was extremely hypertensive and I told him that he would not be allowed into the hot zone. "Look," I told him "Its' not my call, its your chief's call, I was given a max number for blood pressures, I am not allowed to clear you when you pressure is in the 220s, you should have taken you Pressure meds or something. Don't bitch at me, its not my call." He carried on about being up for promotions and why was I not keeping any one else out, bitch, bitch,bitch, blah, blah,blah. I did have to keep tow more out, but they both were like "Hot damn, I hate wearing those fucking suits anyways" So I finished my entry exams and when it came time to do the exits I had three, three of the forty domething fire guys come back to me for their exit exams. WTF, IM NOT STANDING HERE FOR MY HEALTH YOU DUMB BASTARDS. I standing here for yours. If one of those guys had collasped or something, it would have been my head. I didn;t really know what the other incidnets were, I know one was a tanker overturned with "green stuff" leaking from it and there was some dirty bomb detonated at another site. From what I understand, the other sites had their share of problems, but we also found solutions to a lot of them. So, Al and All, by EOC's standard it was a successful drill. Other than the late lunch, lack of bathrooms ( at least ones that you didn't have to walk through the hot zones to get too) and some other minor problems, the public was told it was a positive drill. Now ask some of the responders and you might get a different story. But these things are supposed to be a fucking nightmare anyways.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Mad World

I just returned home for a long shift. I didn't feels good yesterday, that horrible achey feeling you get right before you get sick. Never a good sign. Also never a good sign when you get called to the same house twice in one shift. Yesterday AM we get called to a house when a very angry woman lives with her parents. According to the parents, she when psychotic after she hit her toes on the bottom of the stairs. Of course when we got there, she had taken a Xanax and had calmed down. Answered all the right questions all the right ways, so that we could not take her to the hospital. So later on that night we get called to the same house for the same woman. Except this time she had threatned herself and her parents with a box cutter and said she had taken 15 Xanax. She is now extremely violent and screaming like a fucking banshee. Dad had called us and was the only one in the house with any goddamn sense. Because of Course the mom couldn't handle any of this, she kept crying out "What are you people doing to her?!?" So while I was busy with the 'rents my partner and 4 police officers where upstairs restraining this woman. The Dad finally got the mother to calm down, so that I could go and assist in the restraining of this nut. Now I'm fine with the name calling ( YOU DUMB FAT UGLY DIKE! FUCK YOU YOU BITCH!) and I can keep my cool through the kicking and swinging ( have restraints for that), but when they start spitting in my face that's when I lose my patience. Spitting to me is just about the nastiest thing you can do to a paramedic. It's horribly disrepectful and completely unnecessary. I hate spitters. So all the while of fighting this woman we are getting rained upon by spit. My partner got the brunt of it being that he was closer to her face, I was at her legs getting the shit kicked outta me while I tried to tie them down. We get her down the stairs after about 45 minutes of fighting with her. With her screaming to UNTIE ME YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU CAN;T DO THIS! I'M GONNA HAVE YOUR JOB AFTER MY LAWYERS HEAR ABOUT YOU! I AM AN IMPORTANT PERSON AND I KNOW PEOPLE WHO WILL FUCK YOU UP! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! AND YOU ARE HURTING MY FUCKING ARMS ect ect ect she demeaned us, and our choice of work, that she was a RX rep and that she was more important (so how many lives have you saved?)...So my partner and I silently continue. There is no talking to these people. We get her on the stretcher and get the arm above her head and the other at her waist, get her legs tied down and I load her into the truck. At this time she starts kneeing at the restraint at the top arm, spitting the pieces at me. Gets that arm loose, then gets a leg loose (our soft restraints suck balls) So then I resort to cravats and get everything back tied down, get a mask on her face to keep the biting and spitting at a minimum. My partner asked if there was anything else. Nope just a ride please. The City officer hops in the back with me so If I need help if she manages to unrestrained herself. And off we go. She cusses and screaming for the entire ride, up until the point were she starts complaining about her shoulder hurting because of the restraints. Now Of course being the responable medics that we are we checked all the the points of the tie down. Making sure we got pulses and everything is loose enough so that we don't loose circulation but tight enough to keep her at bay. So when she started in on her shoulder hurting (at first it was MY FUCKING SHOULDER HURTS YOU DUMB BITCH!...Then she tried a different approach of Can you loosen my right arm, please, it's hurting me? ) I told her that I could not loosen anything because of the fact that I cannot risk my own safety in the back of an ambulance. "You did nothing but hit, kick, cuss, bite, spit and call me names while I was trying to help you, so no I cannot loosen it. It's as loose as I can safely keep it I can however help you reposition your body. But under no circumstances can I untie anything." So I helped her reposition. I think she got it through her head at this point that she is no longer in control and that I was. She started crying and apologizing. She said she was scared and angry. She asked if I could stay with her. I told her I could not, however the people at the ER are very nice, they, like us, are just trying tohelp her. According to my mama, who works at the ER we took her to, that lasted about 45mins. She became violent again spitting at my mom, calling her names, swinging at her. My mama is a very kind and wonderful nurse. She cares for her patients in a loving manner, even the fucking crazy bitches. I felt for my mom. I know she can handle them, she knows when to be...Well a mom...When dealing with completely unreasoning patients. But nobody messes with her on my watch.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Music Beta.

Okay Since I tend to buy at least three to five CDs a payweek (or now iTunes had become a better option due to everything being 9.99 and you can buy just the songs you want it's great!) I will try and do 30 sec reviews of at least 3 new albums. This is the testing phase, if yall like it tell me and I will try to keep up with it once a week or so. Cool? Okay here goes...

James Blunt/ Back to Bedlam
David Grey but better. Great voice for a British Recon Officer. According to iTunes he kept a guitar with him while in Kosovo and the songs he created there became Bedlam. He does get a bit whiny in a few songs like "Goodbye My Lover". "Beautiful" is a great first single, though a bit stalkeresque . Also check out "Tears and Rain" and "Out of my Mind"
***1/2

Panic! At The Disco/ A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
If The Killers and Fall Out Boy had a love child it would be Panic!, Emo with a beat. Songs of Note "Time to Dance" ("When I say shotgun, you say Wedding"), I write Sins not Tragedies", and with it's sexy lyrics, "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes"
***

Brandi Carlile/Brandi Carlile
I discovered her while watching "Grey's Anatomy" when they played "What Can I Say". This is a great debut album. She has taken place among my top five female artists ranking somewhere between #2 Liz Phair (circa Exile in Guyville) and #4 Tori Amos (circa Little Earthquakes). Brandi's lyrics are well written and complement her voice perfectly. "Happy" is remincent of several of my failed relaltionships, but not in a depressing kinda way. The melodies just flow from song to song, this album is great to chill out to. This is the album that keeps me calm while stuck in traffic.
*****

Thursday, December 01, 2005

If I offend you, you can keep it to yourself.

Spiderwebs


Oh happy days...Five days actually. I have a stretch of five days off. Five days to do nothing. And that is exactly what I'm going to do, because after my five days I have to go back and spend the next three weeks in uniform. I have a shitload of OT coming up to help pay off the credit cards bills I'm going to rack up in the next few weeks. Three weeks of the sick and stupid. Though works recently has been uneventful. Last shift consisted of three calls, a respiratory, a "I think I had a seizure and a hypocondriac. Her chronicfibromialgiafatiguesydromedisorder was acting up. This woman had more chief complaints than a CHFer having an MI with a CVA just for kicks. She was weak, dizzy, had tunneling vision, with black spots, couldn't move her ring finger on her right had, her legs felt funny, she couldn't fill her lungs all the way, chest tightness and had kidney pain and that was just the list she gave me. She had a whole new list for the hospital. The list of meds she was on was a page and a half long. I've had cancer patients on less stuff, she was a walking pharmacopoeia. Nobody should be on that many Meds. Drugs for her pain ,her hypertension, her heart, her lungs. Drugs to counteract the side effects of the other drugs and then more pills the counteract the ones she takes to counteract side effects. A never ending circle of action/reaction. Why?...no really why? And they were all prescribed by different doctors. She had to have been under the care of six different doctors for a disease that modern medicine doesn't even know if it exsits. Come on, if you are going to summoned an ambulance at 0230 al least let it be for a real disease. Like a pseudo-seizure.

I have a show coming up this weekend. I am going to be selling some of my photographs is a local arts show alongside of my mama. My mom is a jewelry designer and makes her own glass beads. So together we are hopefully going to make some cash for Christmas. AKA "Holiday" No longer in The Holy City is Christmas to be referred to under any circumstances as "Christmas". It has not been replaced by the more politically correct term as "Holiday" No longer does the local Lowes sell Christmas trees, they are to be renamed Holiday trees. Because Christmas has now become offensive. Now I have several friends who are Orthodox Jews. They have different stories, games and traditions. I'm not offended by the lighting of the Menorah. I am not offended by the different prayers they say in Hebrew. But all of a sudden the Christian story of the birth of Christ has become offensive. Christian children are no longer able to act out the Christmas story or decorate a Christmas tree. Santa has become a fat evil elf. The Three Wise Men have been fired. My roommate works in a local store that had a "Merry Christmas" sign outside by the trees. The store was made to take the sign down because a man came in and furiously demanded that it be removed because he found it offensive. IT'S A SIGN PEOPLE! BY THE CHRISTMAS TREES!
When did this change? When did the season stop being about family, friends and celebration?

Friday, November 25, 2005

Happy Turkey day and all that crap

So Yeah...Fa la la la fucking la. The holidays are now upon us. The family get togethers, the tree trimming, the over indulgence of chocolate and other sweet stuff, the maxed-out credit cards and in my family the copious amounts of alcohol. We know how to celebrate in my family. Thanksgiving at my house is a wild time consiting of lots of food, drink and very animated game playing. I don't think there are many familys that can turn CSI: the board game into a free for all except for mine. A calm game of Taboo, turns into "give the baby to my father and then tell him about my tattoos" But this is why I love to spend time with these crazy people. Nobody in my family is quiet. I was awakened at 0730 to my 5 year old cousin jumping on the couch I was sleeping on screaming "WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!" I did however miss the karaoke festival because I was on an ambulance chasing down an imaginary stabbing victim. We did have a shooting though...who the hell shoots people on the day before thanksgiving. Thats one hell of "happy hoildays." But fortuanatly there is video of my father butching "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" so I didnt miss much.

I spent today with my cyclist who was struck by a car last year. He is doing well. His surgeries are making him look more normal everytime I see him. His scars are getting btter, he begining to have a more normal jawline. It is wonderful to see him and how well he is progressing.

Also today I got a speeding ticket. 48 in a 35. On a very small barrier island population 657 where appernetly the police have nothing better to do than give tickets out the day after thanksgiving. Now I understand that I was speeding, I am not arguing that. Give me the ticket, thats fine. But there is no reason the be a complete ass. I get pulled, I get my licence, registration and insurance card out, and roll down the window. I greet the officer with a Hello. I get a gruff "Licence, registration and proof of insurance...I pulled you for going 48 in a 35 why are you going so fast?" Before I could get two words out he says "Tell it to the judge" and trudges to the crusier. So I sit and I wait for my ticket, I know I'm getting one by this point. He comes back to my car given me my ticket and tells me my court date, which is on my shift day. Now I have excepted my ticket I am not going to try and get out of it. However I need to know who to call to change my court date. As anyone in EMS would know it would be easier to try to change that than it would be to try to find coverage for my shift. It's not like a I work in a cubicle in which I can call my boss and tell them I will be several hours late. So I ask the officer who I can call to change my court date. I explain that I am a Medic and work 24 hour shifts. I get a rude responce on how "even I have a life" and that he was having surgery in January and that the date had to be in December blah blah blah. Then he tells me that "the ticket is already written so I should stop trying to get out of it." I tried to explain I was not trying to get out of it, I just want to change the court date, and who do I contact to get the date changed. But he would have none of that...I finally got frustrated and every responce he gave my I just gave a "Yes officer" and silently begged him to go to his vehicle and leave me the hell alone. And he still never gave me a number to call. What a douchbag. I made it home without further incident. So pissed I was crying at this point. I go up stairs explain to my family what had just happened and they tell me to call the Muni court they will help me. Now How hard would it have been for the police to tell me that?

Saturday, November 19, 2005

3am and awake

Back to posting in the middle of the night. Can't sleep again, This sucks. I spent the evening with the new graduating class of Charleston paramedics. If I can say anything paramedics know how to throw a party. I also was the DD. After last weekend I decided that I would abstain from ETOH for a while. Since I was not able to keep anything down until 1900 the night after my big birthday bash. I surprised my house wasn't set on fire after the guests started a huge fire in my fire bowl. Lets just say the woods behind my house was cleared of a few tree branches. Work has been slow nothing of note really, except the police department has been calling on us for really retarded stuff recently. I think there must have been an incident in the jail again. CYA type of stuff like a small laceration that needs no stitches on an assault victim's forehead. Comes out to us as a "head injury" or "bleeding, possible dangerous body area"

I got an email from on old patient. I don't really condone having contact with patients after we leave them at the Trauma Center, but this particular one holds a special place in my heart. Anyone who has read this blog before has read the post "The artist in the ambulance" It was June 27th 2004 at 0712 in the am, I had had about three hours of sleep in 48 hours ( I was still in paramedic school at the time) I had my first real trauma in which us as paramedics in the streets are the reason he is still alive. It was a hard call, he was pretty messed up. Awake with a gag, yet he had no face below the eyes. His jaw was completely gone and had no airway control. His arm was amputated and had a large alvusion to his upper chest. This call almost made me quit EMS altogether. However I worked through it. I still keep in touch with him. He is back to being a triathlete, just finished an Ironman race. My first save really. A save that has caught the attention of Zoll Medical. Zoll is the company who provides us with out AEDs, cardiac monitors and AutoPulse ( a CPR machine). Apparently Zoll has been tracking our Saves and wants to use my patient at a national shareholders meeting. So thats kinda cool. I really could care less about the Zoll thing. yeah getting recongnition is nice, but it's not why I do my job.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Miss you long time


Water



I know I promised paintings next...however I have to get the negitives of the portfolio pieces scanned so as soon as that gets done I will pos painting. Till then enjoy the photgraphy damnit.

Long time no write. Actually life has been pret-ty dull here in Chucktown. Other than the drunken debachery at my birthday party last weekend most of which I lost in the bottom of Tangeray. No lives to be snatched from the greedy jaws of death. No bloody messes to be cleaned up and swept off to the ER in a rush of lights and sound. Just a bunch of bullshit...and a crowd of violent hypoglycemics (or NGAH; translation: No Groceries At Home) that have to be restrained with several pairs of handcuffs generously donated for the transport by the City Police Department. It has been slow in life as well as work. I just felt I needed to write something...anything...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

The underbelly

It amazing really how the same city came be portrayed in diffrent ways. One of my birthday gifts was CSI:NY on DVD. It shows NYC as dark, dirty, and seedy. It shows the underbelly of the city in stark reality. Now take they same city and tell it's stories through the eyes of the girls of Sex and the City. It's all that glitters, five star resteraunts, gallery openings, Manolo Blahniks. Diffrent shows, diffrent point of views. I was reminded of this as I walked the streets of my own city earlier armed with my Nikon. I live in a coastal southern city, known for it's history, food, beaches. Wandered through Waterfront Park, down East Bay Street until I hit The Battery. The homes on The Battery are multi-million dollar historic homes, some that have survived The Civil War, The Quake, and many years of hurricanes. Just a few blocks from there is the ghetto of downtown. In my line of work we see all parts of the city. I've been in the big historic homes with all the antique furniture and I've been in the Section 8 housing with the second hand sofa. I have found out that the rich can be just as filthy and nasty as the dirt poor. I have seen the wealty ignore thier children, just as the indigent pay no attention to thier own. Some of the poor are just as demanding, just as rude as some of the rich. But I can say with all certainty that I have seen the best and the worst of all humanity. I have been witness to acts of kindness that whould bring tears to even me, The Ice Prinecess. I have seen some of the most henious crime scenes in Charleston. Accidents, sickness, deaths, and births, thats my work. I can tell stories of the beautiful parts of my city, of the world outside of my work. Friends, drinks, good food, family. But I can also tell the stories of my life while wearing the uniform. Blood, guts, the sick and the stupid. Every person, every place has it's own unique story to tell.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Happy Birthday to me.


The Pineapple

It's been a calm couple of days, had several days off. No OT for me this week. Fisrt time in a month I haven't spent the week in a uniform. Celebrated my birthday on Thursday in style at a rooftop bar over looking The Market. Friends and cosmopolitons. Very Sex and the City you might say. I got everything I wanted, Nip/Tuck and CSI:NY on DVD, some new PJs and an old Kodak camera to add to my growing collection of antique cameras. Spent yesterday and today with my family. I should spend more time with them. My daddy is still getting over not having his girls around since both my sister and I aren't living at home anymore. I think it's harder on him than he likes to admit. Mama says he is having a bit of seperation anxity. He worries about us. Me because of my work. My sister because she's still young and living in the big bad city. I do get to see my mom more since she works in one of the busy local ERs. She just left the pediatric ER to work at County ER so intead of dealing with children, she treats more psych, drunks and homeless. She says some of those psychs are like the toodlers anyways. She likes it, except for the borderlines, she doesn't like them, which I can understand, they are an odd group people to deal with. I love encoding the hospital when she's working because she always ends the transmission with "See you when you get here, sweetie. Drive safely!" It was embarassing in the beginning because all the other medics could hear it and would give me a hard time, but now most of them relize who she is and they all refer to as "Mom". And she always tries to stand up for the medics when the ER staff gets bitchy with us.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Genius, Just Genius

Okay, So eveyone by now has seen those commercials for Vonage, that broadband phone company, right? If you haven't the general premise of the ad is People do stupid things, like chop down a tree that falls onto thier car or they throw a bat through a plate glass window. And the theme song is this whoohoowhoohoo song (it was also a song used in Kill Bill). Okay, so today during monthly TRMT (technical rescue medical team, see "Dangling and hanging" and "I'm just a girl" posts for more info) We had a Vonage moment. See our training today consisted of "rescuing" a patient from a tree. They had to get the dummy hoisted up into the tree before we could rescue it, so they (and I use they because the genuis idea I'm about to illustrate was the boys' idea. Me and the only other girl on the team were only bearing witness to this madness.) decided that the best way to get the rope over a branch about 30 feet off the ground was to tie a large wrench to the end of the rope and toss it up and around the branch. So we all got our helmets on, I mean we are throwing wrenches up into the air. The other girl and I set up two lawn chairs and sat and watched as the boys hurled wrenches at this tree. We had a pot going on how many times it would take to get the rope around the tree. (I said 25 times, I lost by one.) Now this was some of the best entertainment I had in a while. Watching them as the huttled around each other like they are working out a football play or sometime. Even so often one would stop, toss it and miss, then they would all huttle around again figuring out the laws of physics this was going to require. After about 45 minutes of tossing the wrench, one stated that the rope was to heavy to heave up high enough, so they switched to several large sockets and a long peice of webbing. Finally getting it up there we were able to hoist the dummy up. We made our pully systems and it was now my turn to be pulled up into the tree. I get in my harness, which is most uncomfortable. And they hook me into the system and hoist me up. I then have to pick the 200 lb dummy and get him hooked into my harness, which in itslef is a feat. As they were getting me down they genuis boys wanted to change something on the gground so they kept me hanging for like an hour with my harness cutting up into my crotch (I am so glad I was born female) with my left leg stradling the dummy's neck and my right leg underneath my ass. I think it was position # 47 in the Cosmo last month. So I sat up there, took a nap and waited for whatever they were fixin to be fixed so that I could get down.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Clusters of Madness

Wow...We were busy yesterday. I did a shift switch with another medic, so I worked his shift yesterday, so I am off today. Thank god I'm off today I don;t think I could handle anymore people. 11 calls in less than 12 hours. And these people were sick. Actually sick. Well the first call they weren't however it was kinda humorous. I was 3 minutes late for work. I woke up at 0530 and hit the snooze button, what I thought was once, however when the alarm went off again it was 0640 and I had to get dressed and drive to work in 5 minutes, which was doable because the station I was working is two blocks from my house. But I had to pack up my stuff for the shift like I was moving in and get all my shower stuff together. So that took the extra 3minutes I had to spare after I got dressed. SO I get there and immediately get a call ( hurray for bedhead, I need a shower).. MVA...Car vs house....yep he was in the house alright, this particular house has been struck by a vehicle at least three times in the past six months. It's just in a bad place with no protection from the traffic flow. The car he hit first was slung through a fence and came to rest in a driveway, t-boning a parked truck, which had a man in it. We had six patients all of them High School students. And they kept wandering around the scene. I didn't know who I had treated and who I hadn't and then the parents started showing up so that distracted the kids even more. I finally got on the PA in the truck intructing "Anyone involved in the accident who wants treatment get over to the ambulance, NOW!" I finally got them lined up next to the truck and then the police officers started calling them over. I told then "STAY PUT! Don't go anywhere" Then looked at the cop and told him to "Give me just a minute to let me get vitals and information and then you can have them, But as of right now they belong to me."
"Yes'um"
"Thank you"
Damnit. We finished up with that cluster of a call, got back to the station, I got in the shower. Mid shower get a call. Go...Go again...And again...And again x5 more. Total of 11 calls and that was just the first 12 hours. The second half consisted of 5 more. All sick, most of them unconscious. Goddamn, I was happy to get off that truck.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Im sicker than you...

I gotta stop working so much OT. This is getting a bit ridiculous. I just worked a 36 hour shift with terrible allergies. I feel like crap. I think I was sicker than my patients this shift. Sneezing for 36 straight hours kinda works your nerves after a while. My nose is running and stopped up at the same time. Even the firemen that work at my station are like you look like shit, why don't you go home?. EH...All in a days work I guess. I think I would not be as bitchy if the patients we saw actually needed an ambulance. I worked nonstop the night before last and not one of then needed me. Two assaults, two "chest pains" and one "Shortness of breath with fluttering in chest". The shortness of breath was the last straw because...One the fucker lied to me...Two he wasn't short of breath and three it was at 0430 in the AM. If you're going to call me at o'dark thirty for an ambulance, don't lie to me when I ask have you been drinking or doing any illegal drugs. (he smelled of ETOH and had been doing cocaine all night) And a least PRETEND to be sick. Do not just sit on the stretcher and suck your teeth at me when I ask you questions. Show me the respect I show you, you lowlife. You called me REMEMBER! I'm getting fed up with the not sick and stupid...So that means a good call is coming. It's when I completely lose all patience that I get a call that reminds me why I do what I do. Why I put up with the bullshit and low pay. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that somewhere, sometime I am going to get a call that puts it all in perspective. Until then I have to put up with teeth sucking, not sick, and 4am calls for nothing.


PS...anyone know of a good sites to get EMS related programs for PDAs?

Saturday, October 22, 2005

On Being Green

There are several sayings in EMS, like "it's not my emergency", "never do anything you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics later", and my personal favorite "Paramedics save lives, but EMT's save Paramedics" My first crew chief taught me that one. She said it after a bad call in which I was able to catch something that she had overlooked. It was something simple, something in the Basic Life Support department. We, medics sometimes get so wrapped up it doing the advanced medicine that we sometimes forget the Basic stuff. One of my pet peeves is Paramedics who develop this god complex and think they are above their EMT partner. I recently worked with a Paramedic who spoke very harshly about one of newly hired Basics, who is very green, however very sharp and always asks a lot of questions. The Basic was my relief one night after working with this medic, and she asked me if she could vent a bit. As she spoke of being very nervous during calls and how she really didn't know her place, I was brought back to when I was first hired as a brand new EMT. I had the same feelings. I shook my way through my first calls, hell, even now, I still shake through some of the bad ones. I told her that my voice sometimes still cracks when I give an encode to the hospital, especially if it's a sick patient. Since she is a part timer, she has had to work with many different crew chiefs and she said that was hard for her not working with the same partner. She was worried because every partner wants things done different ways...Like some carry all the gear into the house, some just carry a drug box. She got all worked up because she has worked with some of the most asshole of Medics, she kept saying how stupid she felt. I calmed her down, telling her that even I get freaked out, I'm still a bit green myself. I showed her how to set up things like the nebulizer and the CPAP machine. I told her most medics expect the basic EMT partner to put the patient on the monitor. If she works with a good Medic, not only will they show her how to work the 12 leadEKG correctly, they will show her what they are looking it, especially if it's interesting. I told her to ask alot of questions if she didn't understand. And that eventually it will all come to her. She will be able to do it without thinking. I hope I made her feel better. I still remember my first days. It was the hardest two weeks of my life, not counting the 14 months I spent in paramedic school. (but that was hard for different reasons). I was constantly being yelled at about my driving. And running code, and not blowing through intersections without clearing them first. Everyone has their strenths and their weakness. My just happened to be driving the unit. Hey, I was used to driving a compact car....What can you expect from me?

Friday, October 21, 2005

calling out

I felt bad...literallt. However I also felt bad that I had to force someone. I called out sick for the first half of my shift. I had a killer migraine yesterday. One that forced me into the ER last night. The MD at the hospital gave me some strong pain meds, that basiclly keeps me unresponsive for many hours. So just a precaution I called out sick. And according to policy, if one does not come in for shift and it's not covered then whoever worked the shift before is forced to work. It sucks and I hate calling out sick anyways. In fact It's been such a long time since I've called out that I did not know who to call out to. See, our system has since added 2 new supervisor positions. So now we have three new districts that the three superviors seperatly take care of. So when it came time to call out, I had no idea who to call. I had to call dispatch and find out. Any ways, so I spend all last night doped up on Dilaudid and Tylox. What a wonderful way to spend an evening. I really can understand how people become addicted to this stuff.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Full Moon

Work sucks. Not really, but yeah kinda. I think its only becaue I enjoy what I do for the most part that I can tolerate it for as long as I have. Any other normal person would have already said "oh fuck this." The long hours, the low pay, the lack of respect from patients make the job hard. And since I'm dealing with a partner who I have a few problems with, it makes for long hours. And the fact that the problems arn't really something that one can really talk about, I mean you can;t just say "Just shut the fuck up and quit making lame excuses." At least without sounding like a compleate bitch. I have come to the conclusion that it's because he is very insecure with himself that he feels the need to keep talking about how much he has seen and done, so that you will be impressed with him. I really could care less if people, well people as a whole, are impressed with me. Yes, I have a few of my co workers that I want to, not impress, but think good about me and my practice of medicine. To think I'm a good medic, someone they would not mind if I responded to their family. I think every medic feels that though.

Last night was the night of crazy bitches. One who not only was a psych, but also a a victim of an assault. She would not speak to any males on scene, including the Police Officers. And at one point she quit speaking to me, only speaking to the female detective. I felt a bit helpless, I wanted to help her, however not knowing what she was going through, or really knowing the right questions to ask, it made it hard. I just was kind and held her hand when she asked me too. And I am not a hand holder. The next call was a psuedo-seizure patient with signifigant psych history who called EMS because she "felt like she was going to have a seizure." This was at 0330. Other than that it was a slow night.

Then I had inservice in the AM. It was short and I learned all about OB/GYN emergencies. I know child birthing is supposed to be a miracle and abeautiful thing. But have you ever seen a baby being born? It's gross. The thing is slimy and hard to keep a good hold on. But It's still kinda cool I will admit.

No more overtime for at least to weeks. I've been working too hard. I will spend my days off doing absolutly nothing. Just enjoing the weather and trying to stay out of an ambulance.

PS. Just as a side note the new truck's name is Tallula Belle.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

the butterfly



beautiful isn't it?

too much

It's been awhile since I posted, for no other reason but that I have not much to really ramble about. Been Working way too much OT, but I have a big ol' car payment now so work is my life. However, I am taking the week off from OT.

I have a new partner while my regular partner is healing after geting struck by a car while riding his bike. He's fine, just going to be out of work for a bit longer than I had hoped. So for now I am working with one of those know-it-all Medics who has seen and done EVERYTHING and proceeds to tell me stories I could care less about on how at his last job he was able to do much more advanced procedures and how I am going to have to help him basiclly "dumb his medical practices down a bit" because he is so much more advanced than I. I think it is wonderful that you were able to fly in to New Orleans after the hurricane and save thousands of lives with just a peice of twine, a couple of bandages, and your over advanced wits. Medics like this drive me batty. I honestly don't really care that in your last system you worked in you were putting in chest tubes and sternal IOs intead of regular ol' IVs. And yes I think that being a flight medic is very cool and I hope to be able to do it someday, but I don't want to hear about from an over confident medic who thinks they can save the world all by themselves. I am a competent medic, I do my job and I do it pretty damn well. Don't walk all over my toes because you think that you are so much better than I am because you just spent the last year as a flight medic. I think you need to calm your ass down, and relize that its's not always about you.

In other news one of my good friend from High School is getting married and I get to be a bridesmaid...oh how exciting. In fucshia...and I've have been told that I must get a spray-on fake tan because apparently I am too pale ( I am Irish, I have china-doll skin, I don't tan and I look rediculas with one) and I have to cover up my tattoos with some stuff I've never heard of that I'm probally allergic to. But whatever, I'll do it to make her perfect little wedding go off without a hitch, however I will not be paying for any of it. Im going to have to buy a $200 dress that I will never wear again. So if she wants to turn me from the pale, tattooed white trash that I am into a barbie doll she can put up the funds. I'm waiting for the "you are going to have to lose weigh" speech. In which I will reply a big "What the Fuck?" Oh...and its a dry wedding. But My best friend , who is the maid of honor,and I have been coming up with creative solutions around that little problem.

Wow...Im realy hateful this AM...Sorry...No not really

Saturday, October 08, 2005


Here she is...well part of her

I got her. Finally...I got her yesterday. She is beautiful and wicked fast. Now all that needs to be done is naming her. I'm open to any suggestions.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Strike one...Strike two...Strike three...And I'm out.

I've just gotten home from a long 48 hours. I have now figured out the four overtime shifts in a pay period (two weeks) is just too many. I can only take some much rudeness and stupidity before I lose all compassion. Now I will say the first 12 hours of the 48 was very nice one call. And it was actually somebody who needed an ambulance. I can't remember what it was, just that they were sick. Its been too much after that to recall the details of your first call of almost 20. People can however be extremely rude to EMSers, especially at 0330 in the am. Called to a 25 y/o pregnant woman at 330 in the morning, who by the way is one her SEVENTH pregnancy, for contractions. Now she called us because of the labor pains. The girl had already been to L & D once that day. She left AMA earlier because she was afraid they were not going to feed her. SO she came home instead of waiting. Now one...The L&D staff would not let her go hungry and two...I guess she forgot, SHE CALLED US. There is no need to be a nasty rude bitch to the paramedics. She refused to answer any of our questions, she just sucked her teeth at us. Look here bitch, I know your pregnant, I know your tired, but we have to know what the fuck is going on so that we can help you. YOU CALLED US, we didn't;t just decide to show up on your doorstep at o'dark thirty for our fucking health. Oh...And she had about seven Medicaid cards belonging to her six children and herself. Instead of just finding hers, she just threw the whole stack at us, saying "It's in here, you need it, you find it."

So that was strike one.

Strike two came at 2230 last night when the police called us for a psych at the Huddle House. The man was acting erratically, eating off of other patrons plates and refusing to speak. So with the assistance of the police and one of our street supervisors we were able to get him into the truck, restrain him, and transport. Now everything was fine until we encoded the hospital. The patient had an old hospital ID bracelet in his pocket, so he thought just to take him back to the hospital he came from. Well apparently that's not how it works, at least according to the hospital. Now EMS policy states that if the pt has no preference to take the patient to the nearest facility, however the ID bracelet clued us in to the fact he was a a patron of a certain hospital, so we took him there. When the MD answered the radio, he questioned why the patient was in restraints, why the police were no longer with us and why the patient was coming there. I answered all of the questions and when I asked it there was any orders I got dead air for like 5 min. They were ignoring me. And the longer they were silent the more angry I got. After asking several times if they had any more questions/ orders, they finally came back and bitched me out over the radio. And then again at the hospital. The only thing I said was "If you have a problem I can give you my superviors cell number and you can speak to him" to which I got the response "What the hell will that fix?"
Well not a damn thing tonight, but atleast it will go on record as being a problem that we bring patients to your hospital. As a side note the ER staff and security reconized him as a frequent flyer to that particular hospital. Even my mother who has been an RN at that hospital a short time, coming from the city's pediatric ER, knew who he was.

So strike two...

Now strike three was a thirty year old crack whore with CHF and on dialysis, She smoked $200 worth of crack rock and then became short of breath...Well DUH. However she was nice and polite so only the fact she is just stupid, and I had already had had enough for just two days is the reason she made my list.

Strike three and I'm out.

So now I'm going to crawl into my bed and sleep until 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I've been working my ass off. 36 hours in uniform. My uncomfortable polyester uniform. Well at least until today when we were able to wear a cotton polo shirts as a summer uniform. But Oct. 1st marks the day that we have to go back to normal blue shirt with silver rank and name tag. So anyways...back to the post...I worked hard for 24 hours running 9 calls. Nothing really of note, except for a 19 year old who wrecked her car in a ditch. We pull up and she is laying supine on the ground right outside the car in the grass. I walk up and she looks up at me, " Uh...Can I get up now?"
"Well...do you have pain in your neck?"
"No."
"Do you have pain in your back?"
"No."
"Then yeah. You can get up off the ground."
"Cool because only my arm hurts."
As she gets up I see why her arm hurts. She has turned her left upper arm into hamburger meat. It was not abrated, it was not lacerations, it was chewed up....and bleeding hard core. She was completly calm, I guess the pain had not set in yet. We wrapped her arm up and took her to the trauma center and she was fine. So it was an uneventful night. Then Ispent 12 hours out on an outlaying truck. So I spent the day shift sleeping and watching Family Guy.

This was the first night in almost a month I was able to go out. So I went out drinking Gin until was could not walk and had to call a cab to drive my drunk ass home.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Untitled




This photograph has nothing to do with this post. I just think its a cool picture and I would like to share it. It's the Biltmore Hotel in Atlanta. I took it from Peachtree St.

I went to visit my Xterra at the dealership. She is red and shiny. I do have to trade in my little Carolla. I loved that car. I hope she finds a good owner, somewhat more kinder to her than I have been. I tend to drive her like I stole her and she has fallen prey to several mailboxes and one deer. But she was a good little car, took my abuse and kept on going. But it's time to move on. I have a big girl job, so I think I should have a big girl ride.

In other news...We have new Neighbors. Three new girls. My roommate and I were hoping for a house full of new men to corupt, however as long as these new ladies are as nice as I think they are, all will be well. They don't have two yipper dogs like the lady who lived there before, so already they have cool points. And as long as they don;t mind the parties we have ever once and a while...They tend to get out of control at around 0400, after many hours of adult beverages. The last one ended in a wretling match that let me with a black eye and another player with two broken ribs. Lesson learned: never wrestle with drunken paramedics. Also invite several police officers so when you get busted for the commotion you have back-up.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Dangling and Hanging

Last shift was very slow. I spent the AM dangling from a 6 story building trying to finish my Technical Rescue compentancies. I learned how to pass a knot in the rope while rappelling. Very scary stuff, at least for me being somewhat afraid of heights. And I am one of two girls on the team. The boys make it look so easy. I think sometimes they forget I don;t have the body strenth they do, but the boys on the team are very patient with me, so when I start freaking out they can quickly calm me down by telling me that I am attached to the wall by not one but two ropes and that I will not fall. Still I am nervous while hanging 50 feet off the ground. Then it started raining so we had to pack up early and I had to return to my truck for my normal shift.

So I spent my afternoon and nighttime doing not much of anything. It was a slow night. I have a new partner, well several new partner's while my normal partner is out on a injury. Just my luck I finally get a partner I like and enjoy being around and he goes and gets his ass hit by a car while riding his bicycle. He's fine, but he will be out for at least three weeks. So my partner last night was actually a street supervisor. A white shirt was my partner. This could be very nerve racking for a crew member, if he wasn't so damn laid-back. He not one to judge you or your medicine, was unless your medicine is completely screwed up. He misses the streets, so he sometimes picks up OT on an ambulance. Which I think is very cool, that he will sometimes hangs up his captain bars for a shift with the rest of the street medics. He has not forgotten when he came from, has not forgotten the way it sometimes is on the streets. That sometimes we have to push the envelope right to the edge, think outside the band-aid box. But there was no pushing of the envelope last night, no lives to be saved. We had two calls, both uneventful, run of the mill calls.

This AM was our inservice, long drawn-out boring. But a necessary evil I guess, as long as it keeps me from having to take Nat'l Registry exams over again, I will gladly go. When I took my paramedic practicals, I broke out in hives so bad my intructors thought I was going to need a dose of Epi. I do that during ACLS practicals. In fact practicals in general make me break out like a hormonal teenager. Embarrassing as hell. Thank god today was PEPP, or prehospital pediatrics. Like PALS, but aimed more toward Prehospital than in hospital treatment. No practicals, just a written test, which I can pass with my eyes closed, being that my mother was a Pediatric ER nurse and has passed on her knowledge of treating sick kids on to her own kid. I like dealing more with Peds anyways. With a sick kid, manage the Airway and it will most likely manage the problem. Unlike sick adults, which can be any number of things Cardiac, neurological, respiratory. So you must manage ALL of the problems before they get better. Kids are more honest anyways.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

It's not my emergency.

Medics and EMTs as a whole are a clever group of people. Because of the nature of the job, the split-second life or death decision making aspect of our existence, we have come up with numerous acronyms to help us remember the right order of the right questions to ask. OPQRST for assessment, DCAPBTLS for trauma, SAMPLE for medical history, AVPU for level of consciousness, APGAR for birthing babies, ABC for initial assessment are just to name a few. Even ALS for Advanced Life Support (paramedic) or BLS for Basic Life Support (EMTs). There is even some that are used more for humor than real treatment, like CATS (Cut all to shit) FUBAR (duh), and DFO (done fell out). All of these are hammered into our brains from the first day of EMT school and they are repeated over and over through out our career. Its so when you get a fucked up patient you can quickly assess the situation and treat your patient. One of the first drilled into our head are the ABCs. Stands for Airway, Breathing, Circulation. These are the first three things that a medic needs to make sure your patient has. An Open Airway so that your patient can Breath so that they do not lose their Circulation (or pulse/ blood pressure) This comes immediately after your scene survey. It is the beginning because if your patient does not have those three things your patient will die.

So fast forward to me, last night, on a scene of an MVA (motor vehicle accident), Roll-over ejection, then run over by an unsuspecting commuter just driving down the freeway. We were called for mutual aid for another EMS system. They were there first. The patient was already on a LSB (long spine board) with a C-Collar around his next. He is unconscious and most moving. His Airway is filled with blood, and his Breathing is irregular and gurgling. The Medic from the other system is standing over him, screaming orders at the FD (fire department) and her EMT partner. I walk up to her and calmly ask "What do you need?" This after I see this man fighting to breath through the blood filled airway. The medic looks at me and barks "I need a cravat!!" (a cravat is a triangle shaped bandage used to splint arms and shoulders and is sometime also used as a make-shift restraint)
Now she needs a cravat like she needs a hole in the head. So just thinking ahead I give her a "what the fuck" look and ask "D you have a BVM (bag valve Mask, u)sed to assist ventilations) and an O2 tank?" She, flustered, gives me "What!?, BVM...uh...Yeah...Its in the bag...But really I NEED A CRAVAT!" and she then runs up to her truck I guess looking for a cravat. Leaving me standing by this barely breathing patient. I look through the bag on the road next to him, which happens to be a trauma bag, not an airway bag. No O2 or BVM to be found. She then returns to the patient with a cravat and ties his hands together with it. Well THANK GOD we got that done, can we NOW manage the Airway? Apparently not. He get swept up, placed on the stretcher and rushed off the the back of their ambulance, still gurgling without O2, without an open airway without suction, but he does finally have a cravat.

Now I am not saying that I am a brilliant Medic, who knows everything, with pristine medicine. I am by no means a ParaGod. I am just a simple medic. And I am not one to question another Medic's treament or medicine. Every one goes it thier own way. But like any job thier is a standard of care. Thats where the acronyms come in. It keeps everything easy and in the right order. But it is in no way carved in stone. Some medics get vitals before the SAMPLE history. Some load the pateint in the truck before doing a secondary survey. But no matter what the ABCs come first, you do this while walking up to the patient. You can assess these things before even laying a hand on the patient. Paramedicine is not hard medicine. Its cookbook. A trained monkey could almost do this job. Its made simple because a medic must be able to think on their feet, make quick decisions that could mean getting a live patient to the ER, not a dead one. Its hard work to keep a cool head in the middle of an emergency. One just has to remember the first LAW of EMS. IT'S NOT YOUR EMERGENCY.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Xterra

Working at breakneck speed for long hours is beginning to wear me down. Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I have spent almost two weeks straight in a uniform for at least 12 hours a day. Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I havent even bought a CD or DVD in at least a month, Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I beginning to go through withdraws. I think the people at the local music store are going to forget my name and I will no longer get my "family discount". Diffrent priorities I guess, Less music, more new car right? I can give up one addiction, right? Well techniclly two.

I can't sleep, what a suprise. And on top of that I can't quit sneezing. So I sit up typing and watching Sex and the City. Taking a break from my normal late night insommnia routine of CSI: and a bottle of wine. So it's SATC and diet coke with lime. SInce I have to work in the AM I had to do the diet coke in lieu of the wine.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I am the ride

It was a long 36 hours. I worked all night, all day and then all night again. This earning extra money for a down payment on a new Xterra is really beginning to wear me down. But I trudge on with a picture of an Xterra on my bathroom mirror so that I'm reminded why I have been killing myself for the past month. I came home this AM and immediately crashed. I stayed down until almost 3 o'clock this afternoon. Was awakened by my roommates cat using my belly as a trampoline. That and the crashing that was my curtains on my bedroom window collapsing on the floor. They were just rigged up there anyways. I was warned that this job is a hard one. Sleepless nights, the death and sickness, the stupidity of people. My roommate tells me that I save lives. I always remind her that I don't really save them, for the most part I spend my days postponing the inevitable. I have been in EMS for close to three years, I can count on one hand how many lives I have ACTUALLY saved. Yes we can keep our patients alive for the 15 minutes we have them. I can CPAP a CHFer, I can administer Epinephrene to a child on anaphalytic shock, I can give Nitroglycerine to a man having an MI, I can lessen the pain of a Car crash victim with Morphine, but I cannot open a chest to give internal compressions, xray a neck to see it its broken, cat scan a head to know if the stroke is ischemic or hemorrhaging or thread an angiocath to clean a blocked blood vessel. I am the ride.

Monday, September 19, 2005

MIs and Crazy bitches

I was a busy 24 hours. We had 9 calls, only one really and truly needed an ambulance. He was an older gentleman mowing the grass in the hot South Carolina heat and began having chest pain. He had a long cardiac history, so my partner and I loaded him calmly in the ambulance and hooked him up to the monitor. Normal Sinus without ectopy, the 12 lead EKG showed the same. Nothing jumped out, no elevation in any of the leads. Now just a quick explanetion to my non medical people reading this. Normal Sinus is a normal heart tracing, ectopy is any unusal beats, like a PVC ( premature ventricualr contraction). And elevation on a 12 lead is elevation in the ST segment of a heartbeat. A Heartbeat is sperated into several segment. PQRST. the firts little bump is the P-wave which leads into the QRS that big pointy part of the beat and the last little bump is the T-wave. If there is Elevation in between the S and T wave it means basicly the patient is having a "cardiac event" or possible a heart attack (or Myocardial Infarction). If it depressed it means the Patient has already had an MI and it shows Cardiac tissue damage. Now a 12 lead EKG is like several cameras taking several diffrent pictures of the heart at diffrent angles at the same time. So there might be elevation in some pictures and not others. So not only can I tell that my patient is have an MI, but I can also tell where in the heart my patient is having one. This is hard to explain really w/o a picture of some sort and if one is so inclined check out Emergency EKG.com for further information. Okay back to story at hand...So we took a quiet ride to the hospital, gave the Nitrogylcerine, the asprin (yess the commercials on TV are true Asprin can help save your life during a Heart Attack) the oxygen. And dropped him off with the nurses at the ER. We came back a few hours later to find our that our patient had had an Inferior MI. Now that is just proof of everything our Med control Doctor drill into our brains at every inservice every month. "Just because you don't SEE the MI, does not mean your patient in NOT HAVING the MI. Treat every chest pain patient as if they are having the BIG ONE."

We also had a compleatly out of her head patient, who keep yelling and cussing at us. She kept screaming that the police "attacked her" and that my partner has assaulted her, which of course is not true. As I sat in the back with her she kept flinging herself areound the back of the box, refusing to let me touch her, eventhough she kept screaming That I was not doing a fucking thing. I should be "Like, doing a fucking physical exam or something!" Well you nutjob, I would if you would let me. But everytime I tried to talk she would scream "RAPE!" at me (I'm a female Medic, so I get the joy of riding in the lunatic females) so I just gave up at let her continue to scream nonsense and cuss. Now when I encodeed the hospital, she was still carrying on so I basiclly encoded softly, keeping the mike keyed up, so that the receiving hospital could hear the comotion going on the background. And then They asked me if HER VITAL SIGNS WERE STABLE?! I told them I think so by how many times she had dropped the F-bomb on me. I heard a chuckle from the staff and they told me to bring her on in. She then proceeded to scream Rape at the ER doc, then throwing a tray at the nurse.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I dont have the patience to think of a creative title

I just got home from the bar enjoying three gin and tonics with two of my closest friends. Three is a good number, buzzed just enough to be happy, not drunk enough to have a killer hangover in the morning. So I spent the day today cleaning my mess of an apartment. Taking two bags worth of crap to the local Goodwill. Five loads of laundry and about 412 coathangers later I can now see the floor of my living space. So now at 3am Im waiting for my last laod to dry. A load that includes all my sheets and blankets so I can go to bed until they are done. Now I do have several sets of sheets. However I have a touch of OCD and since they nolonger match the color scheme of my bedroom I can not but them on my bed. Plus several months ago I broke down an bought 400 count sheets, so 180 count sheets feel like sleeping on wallpaper. I even bought 350 count sheets for my bed at the station because I could not stand the sheets on the beds there. My partners think I'm nuts, however I like what I like. Judge me I dare you.

So I have had three days off instead of the standard 48 hours. Its because of the move. I'm not only going to a diffrent truck but to a diffrent shift. So instead of being at work tommorrow...or today technically I have another day off. So I guess I'll go to the gym...or not..whatever

Thursday, September 15, 2005

100 things about me.

I have seen all these 100 things about me list. I like a challenge so I get here goes...

1. I live in SC
2. I have 1 sister who is in college
3. My parents are still married to each other
4. I have 1 roommate
5. I have a tail-less cat, well it's technically my roommates cat but whatever
6. I really don't like cats
7. I'm more of a dog person
8. I work as a paramedic
9. I love my job
10. But my real passion in life is photography
11. I got my associates degree in graphic design and photography
12. Paramedic school was the hardest time in my life
13. I have only questioned my line of work once
14. And the call the made me question it changed me forever
15. I don't believe I can save everyone, but I will damn well try
16. Math was and still is my worse subject
17. I can't spell either
18. I can restrain a combative person in less than 3min.
19. I'm claustrophobic and somewhat afraid of heights
20. But I'm on the technical rescue team, which deals with high angle and confined space rescue
21. My longest relationship lasted 90 days...They all last a max of 90 days
22. I have a theory that When it comes to my relationships, You are either on the 90 day plan, or the best friends forever plan
23. I have had the same 4 best friends since High school
25. And we all resemble a character on "Sex and the City"
26. I am Carrie with a Samantha twist
27. I can rattle off all the doses of all the drugs we carry in our systems drug box
28. And I can tell you exactly how many 4x4s we carry on the ambulance(75)
29. CSI is my favorite show on TV. I have all of them on DVD. Both LV and Miami and I can watch them over and over
30. I have a music addiction. I have about 500-600 CDs
31. I also have a bookshelf full of DVDs, ranging from "Finding Nemo"-"Fight Club"
32. My favorite movies are fight Club, Empire Records, Dazed and confused, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Garden state. I watch them over and over
33. I am also an avid reader. I have two bookshelves full of books
34. My mother is the most caring woman I've ever know, she has the patience to put up not only with me, but my father and sister
35. My Father is the smartest man I know. He can explain anything to me in a language I can understand
36. My sister is smarter than me
37. But I'm more creative
38. I paint when I'm angry and listen to Rage against the machine when I paint
39. I am the oldest child
40. I drink and tend to use the word "Fuck" excessively
41. I do not believe in organized religion
42. But do I believe in God and have faith that I am living by His plan
43. I do not like people who push their beliefs on me
44. I HATE the question "What's the worse thing you have ever seen?" when I tell people I'm a paramedic.
45. I don't sleep very well at night
46. I have chronic migraines that I take several medications for everyday
47. I have no patience for over dramatic bitches on calls
48. But I can fake compassion really well
49. Most of my friends are good looking guys That I see more as brothers than dating material
50. I have my wedding planned out in my head
51. But I don't know if I will ever get married (see # 21,22)
52. I have seen Dave Matthews band 5 times live
53. I have only feared for my life once. It was at Woodstock 99
54. My crazy patients love me. I think it's because I can relate to them
55. On the nights I don't sleep I watch forensic shows on A&E and Court TV for hours
56. I also call my mother who works nights at a local ER
57. Several nurses at the trauma center I used to work in think I should take up Forensic Photography for the Coroner's Office
58. Death no longer scares me
59. I have two tattoos. Both I drew, One a tribal design inbetween my shoulders and a cadusas on my lower back. I have two more drawn, the Irish words for artist and to heal
60. The TV character I relate to the most I think, is Abby on NCIS
61. I read can books over and over even though I know the ending if I like them
62. I'm a Scorpio, and have some of the characteristics of a typical Scorpio
63. I went to Mardi Gras last year and New Orleans holds a certain place in my heart
64. I have only flown on an airplane twice, once to Boston and once to New Orleans
65. I had a breast reduction three years ago. I went from a size E to a C
66. I am an excellent liar, but I save that skill for when I really need to use it
67. I don't understand why I have 12 supervisors
68. But I respect all of them
69. I can get frustrated easily
70. I tend to throw things when I get angry
71. I tend to speed and have gotten pulled over many times because of it , but (knock on wood) I have never gotten a ticket
72. I named my car, iPod, computer and camera ( Ginger Shanequia, Lola, Gidgit, and Julia respectively)
73. I'm a mess. My co workers and friends tell me that they know where I have been because I leave a trail. Much like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic
74. I can only cook like four things ( spaghetti sauce, fried shrimp, rosemary garlic chicken, and a mean bean salsa)
75. My guy friends girlfriends for the most part don't like me, and I have no idea why
76. I don't like bananas or artichoke, or asparagus
77. But everything else is free game
78. My friends call me a Music Snob. I will discover an off the hook band and in approach. 6 months the band will blow up. And I always say " I heard them first, damnit!"
79. I learned to swim when I was 3
80. I am in the middle of saving money for a new car ( Xterra), but my CD, DVD addictions make saving really challenging
81. I hate having my photograph taken
82. I do not understand why Pink Floyd is such a remarkable band. Their music puts me to sleep
83. But I think Jimi Hendrix was a bad ass and Led Zepplin is amazing
84. I own a few CDs that I have never listened to, or even opened
85. Same for a few DVDs
86. I wanted to be Annie Leibovitz when I grew up
87. I still haven't grown up
88. I still get choked up when I hear "What if God was one of us". It was the first song I heard after I learned my grandmother had died
89. I do not cry at movies
90. (ten more to go) One of my favorite photos from my childhood is the one of me and my dad at my parent's wedding. I was two.
91. I respect my dad more than most daughters I think, because he raised me as his own, with no questions asked.
92. I have absolutely no desire to find my real father. I have no use for him. I have a dad. And he will always be known as daddy.
93. My best friend saved me in High school, she helped me find myself which gave me the confidence I so desperatly needed at that time in my life
94. I have held a human heart in my hands, I also helped it to start beating again.
95. I pray silently for my patients who are dying when I know I can't save them no matter what I do
96. I talk to myself sometimes
97. I get nervous when I encode hospitals or have to do a refusal with a supervisor on the EMS radio
98. I also get nervous during practical exams for my job. I break out into hives. It's not that I don't know what to do its that I'm being watched.
99. I don't like to talk on the phone
100. (Fhew...done) I believe that my life is full and complete. I am happy.

Flat tires suck

I got off work this AM after a fairly uneventful shift of weak and dizzy, and Unconscious in a car to a flat tire. I got out of the parking lot of the county building I work in before I relized it. It was a bit of a delayed reaction. Like I felt the car driving funny, yet it didn;t register until I was out of the parking lot. So I first called my supervisor who was at the station I just left and then my father. My supervior helped me change my tire, well I mostly watched as he changed my tire. I then drove home very slowly because the donut I was driving on made it hard to steer. Once at home I unloaded the 12 gallons of water that was in my trunk. Yess 12 gallons, It was left over from the hurricane scare and according to EMS policy I needed 3 days worth of food water and clothing. So I had went to the local Walmart and picked up H2O for both me and my roommate. Anyways I figured I would get out of the hot uncomfortable uniform and take a shower before I took my car to the tire place. So it was about 0930 when I arrived at the tire store. I was greeted cheerfully and took myplace among the masses also waited for their car to be released back to them. I was told it would take about an hour. So I sat quietly in the corner read my book and waited...and waited...and waited...and then waited some more. 3 hours later I was told my car was finished. Free of charge. With a rose on my seat. So I feel I could not complain about the time I waited. Even though I was exsausted from having just gotton off work and almost fell asleep several times in the waiting area. I was almost the asshole.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

My reality show

There is a new show in MTV called "the reality show" It shows a bunch of fucking weirdos who are competing to get their life on TV. So my roommate and I were watching this discussing that our lives are really aren;t really very interesting. I think the only thing in my life worth sharing with the entire world is my job. I then could educate the MTV generation that EMS is not a taxi service. Then again who wants to watch me try and communicate with a deaf 75 year old who summonded an ambulance because he can't shit. And he just keeps yelling "I can't poop!' over and over again...Very loudly. So my life is not that fascinating. It basically boring with small interjecting of excitement. Maybe my driving could be considered an adrenaline rush. Several mailboxes in my neighborhood has felt the rath of the gold 'rolla....Or the other way around. The mailboxes happen to be made of some sort of metal know only to NASA and have taken chunks of paint and metal off my poor unsuspecting 'rolla. My poor car has become a running joke with my circle of friends...And some of my partners. The peeling paint on the front bumper from where a deer ran into my car on a trip back from ATL, the gouges of missing paint from the mailboxes, and the cracked front headlight from a retard hit me when the city of Charleston messed up on the planning of the annual Christmas tree erecting by completely blocking an intersection of two one way streets. I guess it come from driving a huge three ton truck. A truck that I am able to break all kinds of traffic laws to maneuver my way through the streets of Chas in.

In other news...I am moving yet again. I get bounced around more than a tennis ball. A new truck, a new partner. At least this new partner is one that I can stand to be in the same room with. And I won't get looked down on because I'm not "Christian" enough because I drink and say the word "fuck" occasionally.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Well it looks as if Ophelia is going north of us to hit NC/SC border. Thank god, not to whine, but I was not looking forward to spending three days in an uncomfortable uniform in a small station with my holy roller partner. It would be okay if I myself believed in organized religion, but I do not. I do not feel as if a bunch of judgmental assholes that made fun of me during Conformation classes when I was 14 because I was one of two students who went to public school could teach me anything about faith. (Oh heaven forbid! I didn't pay thousands of dollars a year to have a bunch of nuns teach me algebra.) You either believe or you don't, I don't need to go to church every Sunday to know that He is real. I have complete faith in the fact that there is a higher power out there, but is He really watching me rock out in my car while driving to work in the morning? He has got to have better things to do in the morning. So dealing with my partner who is one of those non-denomination church types, like on the church channel, Can get somewhat tedious. Especially being a foul mouth ex-skateboarder punk ass like myself. Every Sunday morning that he is at work we get to enjoy the Christian Music, not like hymns, but that stand up and "Praise Jesus" music. And it is played very loudly. Which is fine, however he did not ask if it bothered me. What if I was a devout Jew? What if it did bother me? What would happen if I played Rage Against the Machine and Tool as loud as I wanted every say Tuesday morning? It not that he isn't a nice guy and a decent medic. He little bit of a "freaker". A little bit high strung on calls. But the best I can do is stay calm, so that he stays calm. I think he is still trying to figure out his place as a Senior Crew Chief of an entire medic unit. Just as I will be when I get my promotion as a crew chief. You just do the best you can and learn from mistakes, not only that you make, but the medics around you. We all make them. We all have weaknesses and we all have strenths. The thing you have to know is that you have them and work on them.
I have talked to my scheduling supervisor. And she completely understands my point. That and me being a naturally night person, I really need to be on a 12 hour night shift. She is working on it or so she tells me.

my hurricane

So I knew this was coming. A small hurricane is now threating my coastline in SC. So Im now getting prepared to spend the next three days weathering the storm at my EMS station. The County has put all emergency workers on alert, me included. I have to go today and brave the local Wal-Mart for my supplies to last me several days. This storm is no Katrina and the damage expected is going to be small in comparison. But we too, like New Orleans,are below sea level. And I can tell you downtown Charleston floods when a small thunderstorm drops rain on us at the wrong time (say high tide). We have to special order our ambulances so that the chasis and box are about 4in higher to help fight the flooding that happens around the hospitals in downtown Charleston. But Im not worrried about this storm. I will gather my supplies and truge off to my station tommorow .

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

So I'm continuing to be glued to CNN watching all the Hurricane Coverage. I sit and I watch wanting to help. They have sent several Medics from our service who are members of the DMAT team. I wanted so bad to be able to go with them. Of course my father would have fought tooth and nail to keep me from going. But instead I'm here in my air-conditioned home with clean running water and electricity. Now I am on call with several other medics here along with ER doctors, RNs EDTs, surgeons waiting for the evacuees to arrive here in Charleston. According to the PTB (Powers that Be) Charleston was supposed to recieve up to 1600 people for the gulf states for medical attention yesterday, however PTB sent them to Charleston, West Virgina, instead of here. So now we are expecting them tommorrow. So I will stand by my phone and wait for the call. So that I can do something to help these people. I feel that since my broke ass can't afford to donate money, I can donate my time. I can use my emergency medical skills to help.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

To my fellow first responders...Good luck


Canal Street from My Hotel

I tend to bitch a lot...About work...The weather...My partner. But this week I was reminded that things could always be worse. I have been glued to my TV, watching the images coming out of New Orleans and other Gulf Cities in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. I feel for all of the cities, however NO holds a special place in my heart for I had lost my Mardi Gras virginity to the city this past February. I spent almost a week wandering around the city armed with my trusty Nikon. I wandered down Bourbon Street the first night with my camera sharing my neck along with strands of plastic jewel toned beads and thick feather boas, enjoying everything the French Quarter had to offer. We stayed in a hotel on Canal Street over looking the parade route. For almost a week I went through the open air markets, ate Muffalatas from Central Grocery, gumbo from the street vendors and drank Hurricanes (the drink, not the storm) from Pat O'briens. We celebrated the conclusion of the Endymion Parade at the Superdome in formal "grown-up" style. (my cousin rides in the parade every year)
I spent my last day in the Garden District taking shots of the grand homes and cemeteries.


Bourbon Street


So I watch from my station in SC were I work, dry and cooled by AC, glad I'm not there; but still part of me wants to be there helping with the rescues. I watch as my fellow trained first responders pluck people from the rooftops of the waterlogged homes. I watch the evacuation of the Superdome, a place that not so long ago I stood with a bottle of Southern Comfort jumping up and down to the music of Cowboy Mouth with my neck weighted down with thousands of beads. I saw an arieal shot of ambulances lined up on an overpass waiting for the order to go in. I wish their was more my trained hands could do. However, I feel that a disaster like this would push me to my breaking point. The scenes from the Gulf state have brought back memories to my co workers here in Charleston of Hugo. The old timers that were here during that storm recite their stories, of the destroyed shelters, of the storm serge, of the mass evacuation of the flooded ERs as if it just happened. I listen and wonder if I would be able to keep myself together during a storm. I started his job with the thought in the back of my mind that I would not be able to evacuate with the rest of my family. That I would be stationed in the shelters to ride out the storm.


Garden District


I wish the best to the cities devastated by the Hurricane. I wish the best of luck to my fellow Medics, EMTs, and Fire/ Rescue personnel.

Monday, August 29, 2005

oh screw this

I was off today. Did much of nothing. Except I did find two dresses for my aunts wedding this weekend. I was able to get a 120 dollar dress for...wait...13 dollars, yes thats right 13...1-3. was I ever happy. So shopping was very fulfilling. Then I had lunch/dinner with my mother after a wonderful day of laid-back of doing nothing. So now I can spend more money on shoes, one of my other addictions, for the wedding. And I'm also the photographer for the wedding. So Stress, what? This is because the grooms daughter, my new cousin, is a professional photographer. I have seen her work and it is unbelievable. However fine art. Very diffrent from my style, which is very photojournalistic. But still unfuckingbelievable. But my aunt asked me. Now my aunt is a bit of a perfectionist so I'm now under a microscope. And if kinda stresses me out.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Slow down, chill out

My partner drives me nuts. I still don;t understand why the supervisor who does the schedule puts two people together who never mesh and when she mistakingly give you a partner you love and work well together she splits you up. EMS is not supposed to be fun! what was I thinking!? Now I'm just bitching. But he does drive me crazy. He forgets sometimes that it's NOT his emergency. And does everything half-assed. Restocking, check off, station duties. If you not going to do it right, I'd rather you not do it. AHHHgh! Anyways, other than that it's been a slow shift. four calls. Only one of any note was the one at 430 this am. Gunshot wound (or GSW if you want to sound like us) to the head and chest. I can't say much due to it being an open investigation and this being a public forum, Just that it was a big ol mess. We RSI (see further posts for info on RSI) him because though he was leaking grey matter out of the large hole in his head he still had a gag reflex and purposeful movement. And we quickly transported him to the Trauma Center. As of 500 he was still alive.

Has it been a slow news day? Why is the Today show doing a report on "girl crushes" WTF?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

argh...stop! Sleep!

I can't sleep. And I have to be up at o'dark thirty for work in the am. I have even taken my nighttime meds for my migraines, which are supposed to help me sleep, however they are not working. So Now I sit, typing, listening to Sarah Mclachlan and watching CSI: DVDs. I have a serious ADD problem. Maybe if I just cut all the crap off my mind will quit racing and I might actually get sleep. But most likley I will just lay in the dark with my thoughts, wide awake.