It's like the EMS gods knew I needed that. A shock, a wake-up, a little thing to keep me going, Something to tell me why I do what I do. Why I deal with the bullshit, why I listen to the lies my patients tell me. They gave me a magled car with a twisted up patient and didn't kill him. They let me care for him, let me get an impossible IV, let me administer drugs that are so powerful I literally take away the patients ablity to breath on him own...just so I can turn around, put a tube in his throat and breath for him. And though he tried, he did not arrest on me. I got him to the hospital. I saved this person at 60MPH. I needed that. The Gods just know...that on the verge of burning out compleatly,that they need to give me some reason to put on the uniform and go to work.

When you pull up to a scene like that and see all the lights and then the twisted up metal, and after your first thought of "What the fuck now? How did that person get in the situation he is now trapped in?" something just turns on and you are ready to go. I just threw on my little blue helmet and dove in. Really...what the hell makes a person do something like that? Most people try to GET OUT of the mangled vehicle, not get in while the Fire Depatment cuts and bends the mess off and around you. Instead, we climb in cover ourselves and the person we are trying to get out with a fire blanket and wait to be rescued. It's sort of a wierd logic. But we do it, we don;t (hopefully) know whoever this is that we now share a small cramped space with, trying to figure out the best way to clear the airway, check a pulse and then get them out. We blindly jump in and hope for the best. Sometimes, like last night it works. Others, not so much. And then later you relize that EVERY scene is like this...You are going on blind faith that who ever just summonded you at 4 in the morning is not going to answer the door with a shotgun. What makes a girl come roll up in a huge flashing box on wheels into the projects to find a GSW laying there, surrounded by cops and bystanders, and go well, just another day at the office, better get to work. This is my office. The streets are where I do my paperwork. and it sure as hell beats sitting in front of a computer all day everyday. And then there is Naptime. yeah, If I'm not doing anything, I get to sleep...on the job...or watch episode after episode of 30 Rock and NCIS.

So yeah I have a pretty cool job. I drive a 3 ton truck with sirens and lights. I show up and can actually bring someone back From DEATH. Which is sweet. How many people can say that their job is helping people and driving fast.

I have been neglecting my little space of the interwebs. I don't know if has been writer's block or school or work but It's been to long. I had a bit of a breakdown at work. I think it was a mix of lack of sleep and taking on too much schoolwise. Art school, contrary to what you might think, is not easy. Creativity is something you either have or you don't and you can't switch it on and off. When it's on, baby it's on, but when it's off...it's off. So I had two weeks off from work, concentrated on my art for two weeks, cleaned my apartment, uncluttered my mind and started over.

I came back to work much better. Back to The City. I love The City at night. The characters, I have my regulars, like one who calls because "the shadows are smoking crack and makes me short of breath" I know which addresses are sick, which are not sick, which are crazy, which just want someone to talk to, which need the police to come with me. I love walking up and even though we were called to a nosebleed I hear, "Man just shut up and let EMS look at you, You got a stab wound in you damn chest..." So I am back, back to work. Both medically and creatively.

http://digg.com/people/EMT_Fired_Over_Facebook_Photo_of_Murder_Victim


I read this was sickened by it. How could anyone is my line of work think this was okay? Not only was he violating all kinds of HIPPA laws, but that poor family. Now, I know I blog about my experiences as a paramedic. But I like to think I keep it light, I want people to understand that I love what I do, even when I'm up to my eyes in alligators, I still enjoy the little world I live in.

Now...

I have a real paying gig. The Derby team that I have been working with (pro bono, portfolio work) is having me shoot during thier promo night out. This little Medic is excited.

I had a friend of mine demand I post, I told her I have about 7 unfinished posted saved, So I'm gonna try and finish this one becuase it's been quite a while since I've posted. School has kept me quite busy. Im living on Starbucks and very little sleep. But I creating some of the best work I have in a long time. I forgot what it was like to truley love photography and taking photos. Along with working, I have hooked up with the local Roller derby team and have become thier photographer. They have taught me alot, not just about photography, but about being part of a team. And it's a great release and change from the work on the ambulance.

I also got a phone call from my cyclist yesterday, he is doing well and it was good to hear from him. He is speaking to group of graduating class of paramedics today and needed me to fill in some missing gaps from his accident. He is my reason I put on my uniform every shift and to be honest, that phone call came at a good time. I needed that reminder right now.

So this was just a quick post, just to let everyone know I'm still around, I'm still on the ambulance. School is keeping me busy (I made Dean's List too!) I'll try and do better about posting.

I ain't that normal

I ain't that normal
Originally uploaded by artist in the ambulance 190.

The Pineapple

The Pineapple
Originally uploaded by artist in the ambulance 190.

Chasing after it

Chasing after it
Originally uploaded by artist in the ambulance 190.

Life has gotten a bit easier. No less busy, but easier. All this in spite of having a difficult partner and school keeping me running around, with a camera most of the time. I'm am on a truck I enjoy in a district I love. Though I do occasionally have the urge to duct take my partner to the the stretcher and sent her down the ramp at the Old County Hospital. But the Firefighers and police are cool in The City. We are busy enough that the night goes by at a decent speed. We also have more of our "frequent flyers" in this area. The ones when you hear the address, you know exactly what you are walking into, whether its a bad CHFer, the dialysis crackwhore who is fine when you get there and within seconds of arrival goes downhill, or the crazy old lady with all the cats and vodka. You just know them, you know their names, you know thier allergies, you know that NTG doesn't touch the pulmonary edema and the only thing that will save them is a fast ride and CPAP. There are always suprises, like pulling up to the Stretch Limo that was involved in a minor MVA, with 22 drunks piled into it. You know it's bad when I yell, I had to yell on that call. "You. Yeah you, go stand over there. Unless you legally make this patient's medical descions for her, your input is no longer needed"

And why is it that Overdoses ALWAYS lie to you. Even when you just brought them back from the brink of Death with the "wake-up medicine" Even when you pulled the needle out of their arm so you could start your IV.
"How much Herion did you use"
"Dude, I don't use that fucking shit"
"I'm gonna ask you again, slower because maybe you misunderstood me and don't lie to me How...Much...Herion...Did...You...Use? And don't call me Dude, I'm not your buddy. I'm the medic that just brought your dumbass back to life, show some respect"
"Dude...I mean Ma'am, I don;t use herion"
"so that was just...what?...insulin in the needle I just pulled out of your arm."
They truly think I'm stupid.

Art school is harder than you think. It's not just drawing and taking pretty pictures.

Hello friends. Yes, again I am sorry about the long breaks between posts. I have been suffering a severe case of burn-out and haven't flt much like writing. But alas, maybe it will make me feel better just to let the word flow...good or bad, without a real care on who reads this. I'm not gonna speak about any strange or twisted calls, because really, I havent had any. They all have been your normal Shortnesses, Chest pains, catching seizures and "I gots the Sugar". Oh wait, I did help with the delivering of a baby. That was cool. Death (AKA, me) bringing life into the world. Nice change of pace. Got to tuck those Wings of Darkness back into the uniform for the night. But really other than that, been pretty uneventful on the call front. I'm back on nights with partner who frankly...sigh. Yep, I think my Senior Crew Chief is afraid he gonna come into work and find that I have strung 'em up from the ceiling with my technical rescue harness, refusing to let her down. I promised him that I wouldn't do that but I could not promise that the words Fucking and Idiot would not cross my lips. Especially now since I'm going back to school and I will be running on Nicotine and Coffee instead of real actual sleep. My fuse was gonna be a little shorter than normal.

So here I am, 29 years old, on the eve of my first day back to College, well Art College, I mean my first class is entirely dedicated to the View Camera, working towards a goal to get me the heck out of EMS. To go be creative. Away from the Death. To make pretty things.