People Suck.

Wow, the Delta Bravos were out in full force last night. But god bless the City Cops, for they kept me sane. One Delta in particular I wanted to assault myself. He gave me the Hold On a Minute Finger...then said "You...Can JUST WAIT a DAMN minute." Uh...No, I can't, you my friend can walk your happy ass to my truck so I can get a better look at the laceration above your eye. I looked at the cop that was standing there who told the guy "Um I would go with her...so she can check you out, plus she alot nicer than us" The guy then proceeded to not give us any of his personal information like medical history or allergies or home address because "he didn't think we needed that" So I kicked him out of the back of my ambulance told his sister that he needed stitches and then stormed over to one of the cops I knew who immediatlly went "B...B...breath..."

"Fuck breathing, J...I'm gonna kick that kid's ass myself. You know you come to assaults going Man I feel sorry for him he just got his ass kicked, then you talk to em and go...I would have kicked his ass too. Fucking Delta. He can bite my ass. His sister's taking him, he's not going in the back of my rig"

And thats the kind of patients we had all night. Fucking assholes. All night, just wanted to be assholes to the paramedics. And I'm a Kind person. Even the cops were like, what the hell? You were nice at the beginning of the shift. I was but you get beat down and by the end you are like all you people suck.

Are you !@#$ing kidding me!

I sometime wish my internal censor button was just a little less sensitive. I had a a patient last night I just wanted to go "Are you fucking kidding me!?, FUCKING SERIOUSLY!, You are calling me at 0430 for this! REALLY? You do understand you are putting an ambulance out of service for 30 minutes for your fucking superficial laceration...no...wait...abrasion... on the side of you leg that you got...what... three days ago from falling up the stairs thats not even bleeding... What do you want me an EMERGENCY MEDICAL TECHNICIAN to fucking do about it...tonight...right bloody now!? FUCK!... I am not...I repeat...NOT...louder please...NOT! taking you to the Emergency Room. At all...not tonight...or ever. Quit smoking crack. Have a nice night and thanking for choosing us for your health care needs.

And people wonder why our response times are extended sometime. It's because we are dealing with bullshit like this. And when a real emergency drops like YOUR grandmother is having Shortness or your father is having a heart attack the next nearest truck is 20- 30 minutes away.

Also, think about this people who aren't EMS, Police and Fire...When you see an Emergency vehicle driving down the road, with lights flashing and sirens blaring... slow down and MOVE TO THE RIGHT. Don't get pissed. Don't flip us off. Don't honk at us. Don't think we are getting in your way, you are getting in ours. You are just slowing us down and we could be going to YOUR family member. Don't be that Asshole. Really. Just don't.

Didn't Break Nothing this Year

Regular Readers of my blog may recall this time last year I was layed up in a hospital with my left foot propped up secondary to an unfortunate run in with a flight of stairs after several bottles of wine and all while wear fishnets and 3 inch heels. Well, this years birthday had no such run ins, infact no bottles of wine and no fishnets. For I was working. I spent the night picking up drunk assaults and psych patients from my fair coastal city. The doc that was working the night of my "accident" was working tonight also. She was happy to see my sober and using both of my feet. All night I was asked "Why didn't you take the night off?" Well, my friends there are two answers to that question. One of them is the paragraph above. I didn't want a repeat of last year's hospitals stay. I can find much less painful ways of scoring Dilaudid. And answer number two is this is my weekend off so I got the next three days off, which I'm spending in Asheville, NC. So really, whats another day, honestly? So I worked. I picked up drunks. I saved the sick and the stupid, because thats what I do. I even was there when Lil' Kim was having her 3rd child. She wanted me to call her cousin Beyonce, but her baby daddy didn't like Beyonce, so we thought it better we wait until the baby was born. So that was my birthday night. No broken bones, no hospitals stays by yours truly, no killer staircases. Just a bunch of crazies, drunks, and respiratorys to show for it.

I signed up on Halloween for drunken debauchery in costumes. What I got was blues hairs falling in the middle of the night and arm tingling. ARE you KIDDING!. Damn it. Oh well there's always next year.