Wow... it's been a while since my last real post. I apologize for that. Honsestly, it because my life really isn't that interesting outside of EMS. I have an ordinary life in which I do an extraordinary job. A job I love, a job I owuld do for the rest of my life if my body would let me, but alas, it will not. I have been struggling with it since I went out on injury back in March. I have made other plans...plans that I thought I would not have to make. Like going back to the Trauma Center and going back to school to learn something else. This has been an extreamly hard couple of months for me. I am normaly an active, hard working individual. And for the past three months I have not been able to do anything that I normaly would do. I have been inactive, gained weight and missed work terriblly. I have been receiving a paycheck thankfully, however it has been about half of what I have becaome to live on. Between rent and car payment ( I just bought a new Xterra back in September)I have nothing left for the creature comforts like cable internet, new clothes, groceries. I have never had to ask my parents for support other than like 20 bucks here and there and huge purchaces like tires for my car. But now I have been leaning on them alot for everything. So life has been a little bit hard. Thank god for my family. It could be a whole lot worse.
But other than that life has been fine. I'm working on getting back to work, I started PT last week. I can lift 15 lbs now. Hopefuly by the end og june I will beable to go back to the life I love. Only to leave again to start the second part of my life. a career change at only the age of 26. But it must be done I guess...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Music 2.3
Okay...I'm back with the music reviews. Oh the big names dropping albums this summer and oh boy, oh boy am I ready. This is my crack.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stadium Arcadium
*****
Oh Anthony and the boys are baaack. And nobody could be more excited than me. Two discs of Totally awsome music. Hours of ear candy. they are back with punky funk-o-licious tunes. Charlie" and well the whole second disc...this is worth buying. one thing...does any one else wonder when Will Ferrel joined RHCP?
Tool
10,000 Days
*****
Genius. thats all...just Genius.
well...that and best music to blare with all the windows rolled down in the car. I get some funny looks when I pull up next to another car. Like what is this little girl doing blaring such hard core industrial rock.
My only complaint...TOUR ON THE EAST COAST MAN!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lafayette Cemetery No 1
This is a set on Flickr. I took these last year while in New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2005. They are kinda poor quality becaue I had already backed up my Nikon, so I just shot with my little point and shoot Elf. But They still, I think are pretty good shots.
Broken.
I was broken. And I don't know if I am fixed, or just patched back up with super glue and duct tape. ( we southerners know how do work some duct tape don't we) So today, I went to the local Technical College and spoke to the head of the Respiratory Therapy program. I am beginning to think that I will not be able to do EMS for much longer. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutly love being a paramedic. Never in my life did I ever think I would see the things I have seen. The life, the death, the gore. the things I have been a part of. Last year I birthed my first baby. It was in a small house on one of the islands. The whole family was there. And when I say the whole family, have you ever been to houses where the mama, daddy, sistas, brothas, aunties, the cousins, the grandmama, the granddaddy, great grands, the whole family lived on the same dirt road? That was this house. As we pulled up, we could hear the screaming. It was one of those steamy nights and all the windows were open. Right then we knew, we knew this was not going to be just a transport. We were going to be having a baby. The county sherriff was there, they met us at the end of the driveway. He looked like he was going to faint. Oh and I was the sole female. As soon as we walked in with our gear, and I got into postion, the baby was out. She was pretty, pink...perfect. I cut the cord, cleaned her up and gave her to mom. I have never seen a celebration like the one when that baby first screamed. Mom crying, grandmama hugging everybody within ten feet of her, including the paramedics, firefighters and the sheriffs deputy. All the sisters, she had seven, I think, hugging, crying, hollarin'. And the men, all of them out on the porch, for that was women's work in there, toasting the new daddy. Daddy came in as soon as he was told he had a baby girl, held his new daughter taking to her and mom. This baby, came into the world surrounded by love and family. As paramedics, we are surrounded more by sickness and death. That just the way it is now. We very rarely assist in childbirth, with all the modern medicine, prenatle care. And if we are birthing a child, it's a high risk birth or, the mom has had no prenatle care and the child is usually in distress. I hear more horror stories than ones like mine.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
As a paramedic I have been part of things like that, and I wonder how I could do anything else. But, now I have come to the realization that I might not be able to. So I will start respiratory school here in August hopefully. I will still keep my paramedic, I will still work part time, I cannot leave compleatly. Where else will I be able to be part of life like this? I'm just broken.
Monday, May 08, 2006
another sleepless night
The other moring I wasn't able to get to sleep. It wasn't because of pain or anything. I just couldn't get to sleep. I tried everything, reading, soft music. I turned off everything TV Stereo. Nothing worked. So I ended up staying up ALL NIGHT. It sucked...but at sunrise I drove out to the beach and took some photographs. I got off about 200 pictures and when I got home, I went right to sleep. I just needed a little Nikon Therapy I guess. The photos below are some of them I took.
I'm still having pain in my low back and my hip. Sometimes its does go down to my ankle, but thats getting better. It's been raining here, so I haven't been able to get my walk in and I can really tell a differance when I don't walk. I tend to have more pain and I feel more sluggish. But all and all It's getting better. It's still looking to be mid June until I will be able to go back to work. I'm still scared I won't be able to go back to the job I love. I have been looking into becoming a respiratory therapist, that is if I am not able to be a paramedic. Even though I love my job, and it is by far the coolest job of all of my non medical friends, I don't to be a cripple with severe chronic pain before I'm 30.
Well it's 0330 and Im actually tired, as a normal person should be at this hour. So I am going to say goodnight...until next time
One more thing...what do we think of the new show on TNT "Saved"...about the paramedic with a gambling problem? Yall think it will be any good. It starts on June 12th. And also...why is it that Police and Firefighters are always these larger than life, heroic characters, while everytime a paramedic is portrayed, it is some severly damaged, broken, addicited, depressing
character?...ie.. Nick Cage in Bringing Out the Dead? Why is that?
I'm still having pain in my low back and my hip. Sometimes its does go down to my ankle, but thats getting better. It's been raining here, so I haven't been able to get my walk in and I can really tell a differance when I don't walk. I tend to have more pain and I feel more sluggish. But all and all It's getting better. It's still looking to be mid June until I will be able to go back to work. I'm still scared I won't be able to go back to the job I love. I have been looking into becoming a respiratory therapist, that is if I am not able to be a paramedic. Even though I love my job, and it is by far the coolest job of all of my non medical friends, I don't to be a cripple with severe chronic pain before I'm 30.
Well it's 0330 and Im actually tired, as a normal person should be at this hour. So I am going to say goodnight...until next time
One more thing...what do we think of the new show on TNT "Saved"...about the paramedic with a gambling problem? Yall think it will be any good. It starts on June 12th. And also...why is it that Police and Firefighters are always these larger than life, heroic characters, while everytime a paramedic is portrayed, it is some severly damaged, broken, addicited, depressing
character?...ie.. Nick Cage in Bringing Out the Dead? Why is that?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Healing the healer
I was driving home from my best friends house tonight after Grey's Anatomy, when I saw flashing lights in my rearveiw. Along with the flashing lights was the distinctive sound that I have grown quite familar with. As the ambulance went flying past lights going, siren blaring, I felt a twinge of want. I want so bad to be back. Even though our system is going through a real hard time right now. From what I'm hearing from my coworkers we are losing Paramedics on a daily basis. And the ones leaving are good paramedics, seasoned paramedics. Moral is at the lowest it's been since I have been there. Every day there is at least four to five open slots. Medics and EMTs are being called back into work, making them work 24-36 hours. They are exhausted, tired of working, missing thier families. And the more they are forced, the more people quit and then the more people we lose the more open holes, which starts the cycle all over again. And the Ivory Tower aren't listening to the street people so it's making it hard for everyone. The Special Teams like the TEMS and TRMT teams can't train because there is nobody to work for the team members. So in some ways I want to be back, but in others I'm glad Im out for so long.
Healing is boring. I got my staples out on Friday and Everything looksa good. I have most of the strenth back in my left leg and the numbness for the most part is gone. I do still have somepain in my hip and leg, but according to my Doc's PA thats normal. My nerve had been "squashed" (yes, he really used that highly medical term to describe my injury) for quite some time, and so I will have some pain for a while. But my surgeon is very optimistic that I will be back to work, in full capacity by the end of june. He was funny, the evening of my surgery, he can to my room and spoke to me and my Dad. He told me that he had to fix me becasue of the tattoo. I has a cadusas on my lower back, I got it after my last incident with my back, right before I started EMS. It was for protection. He said that he couldn't cut through the tattoo, because it would be "just wrong" so he cut perfectly around it. He told me he and his staff were insipred by the tattoo.
I fell better now. I'm still learning to remember not to bend over, and that I can't sit for too long. I look like an asshole driving because I have to have my seat leaned back so I'm not sitting straight up. If I can't lean back at at least a 45 degree angle I have to stand, so during poker night, I'm standing, during Lucky Number Slevin I'm standing in the aisle at the movie theater and during Sunday night dinner and TV at my friends house, still standing. It sucks, but until the scar tissue formed the disc can rerupture. And I want to see the back of an ambulance again. So good news though. The county has approved 17 new Stryker Stretchers. The elecrical kind. So next year we might be getting new stretchers which hopefully will cut down on injuries. well thats it for now. until next time...
Healing is boring. I got my staples out on Friday and Everything looksa good. I have most of the strenth back in my left leg and the numbness for the most part is gone. I do still have somepain in my hip and leg, but according to my Doc's PA thats normal. My nerve had been "squashed" (yes, he really used that highly medical term to describe my injury) for quite some time, and so I will have some pain for a while. But my surgeon is very optimistic that I will be back to work, in full capacity by the end of june. He was funny, the evening of my surgery, he can to my room and spoke to me and my Dad. He told me that he had to fix me becasue of the tattoo. I has a cadusas on my lower back, I got it after my last incident with my back, right before I started EMS. It was for protection. He said that he couldn't cut through the tattoo, because it would be "just wrong" so he cut perfectly around it. He told me he and his staff were insipred by the tattoo.
I fell better now. I'm still learning to remember not to bend over, and that I can't sit for too long. I look like an asshole driving because I have to have my seat leaned back so I'm not sitting straight up. If I can't lean back at at least a 45 degree angle I have to stand, so during poker night, I'm standing, during Lucky Number Slevin I'm standing in the aisle at the movie theater and during Sunday night dinner and TV at my friends house, still standing. It sucks, but until the scar tissue formed the disc can rerupture. And I want to see the back of an ambulance again. So good news though. The county has approved 17 new Stryker Stretchers. The elecrical kind. So next year we might be getting new stretchers which hopefully will cut down on injuries. well thats it for now. until next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
