It's like the EMS gods knew I needed that. A shock, a wake-up, a little thing to keep me going, Something to tell me why I do what I do. Why I deal with the bullshit, why I listen to the lies my patients tell me. They gave me a magled car with a twisted up patient and didn't kill him. They let me care for him, let me get an impossible IV, let me administer drugs that are so powerful I literally take away the patients ablity to breath on him own...just so I can turn around, put a tube in his throat and breath for him. And though he tried, he did not arrest on me. I got him to the hospital. I saved this person at 60MPH. I needed that. The Gods just know...that on the verge of burning out compleatly,that they need to give me some reason to put on the uniform and go to work.
When you pull up to a scene like that and see all the lights and then the twisted up metal, and after your first thought of "What the fuck now? How did that person get in the situation he is now trapped in?" something just turns on and you are ready to go. I just threw on my little blue helmet and dove in. Really...what the hell makes a person do something like that? Most people try to GET OUT of the mangled vehicle, not get in while the Fire Depatment cuts and bends the mess off and around you. Instead, we climb in cover ourselves and the person we are trying to get out with a fire blanket and wait to be rescued. It's sort of a wierd logic. But we do it, we don;t (hopefully) know whoever this is that we now share a small cramped space with, trying to figure out the best way to clear the airway, check a pulse and then get them out. We blindly jump in and hope for the best. Sometimes, like last night it works. Others, not so much. And then later you relize that EVERY scene is like this...You are going on blind faith that who ever just summonded you at 4 in the morning is not going to answer the door with a shotgun. What makes a girl come roll up in a huge flashing box on wheels into the projects to find a GSW laying there, surrounded by cops and bystanders, and go well, just another day at the office, better get to work. This is my office. The streets are where I do my paperwork. and it sure as hell beats sitting in front of a computer all day everyday. And then there is Naptime. yeah, If I'm not doing anything, I get to sleep...on the job...or watch episode after episode of 30 Rock and NCIS.
So yeah I have a pretty cool job. I drive a 3 ton truck with sirens and lights. I show up and can actually bring someone back From DEATH. Which is sweet. How many people can say that their job is helping people and driving fast.