Saturday, January 16, 2010

Things I have Learned Working Nights in The City

I love working nights downtown. I have now been in The City for about two years now. I have gotten to know my cops, my firefighters all by name, they have gotten to know me, even if most of them know me by Angel and not by my actual name. They know that I am afraid of the horse cops and that I although the drunks can cuss at me the minute they start swinging or worse spitting is the minute the lose the ride in my truck and they earn a pair of bracelets and a free trip county jail. They also know how I take my coffee (soy or cream depending on who's buying, lotta sugar) So in the two years working in The City of Dixie I have learned :
1) The statement "Fuck You" will earn you a beat down, a tasing and most likely a public drunk and disorderly. And the cops don't like when that statement is aimed at either them or us.
2) Crazy is not illegal nor does it mean you need to go to the hospital. Unless you are a threat to yourself or others there is no need to go anywhere. Just because you put tinfoil in your hair to keep the aliens from stealing your thoughts or that you talk to your dead cousin that lives in your shopping cart does not mean you need to go anywhere, sometimes you need to explain this to the officers or the people that run the shelter.
3) Drunk is NOT a medical complaint, I was drunk two nights ago, woke up with a terrible hangover. Took advil, drank gadorade and plowed through it. The college kids can do the same. Unless they are unconscious and can't hold their own head up, they can sleep it off in their dorm room, not in an ER.
4) The projects are a safer place to park an ambulance than outside of the dorms
5) It's Sugar not diabetes. It's High Blood, not Hypertension, It's Water Pill, not Lasix. It's fluid on the heart or failure, not CHF. "Sticky Pain" is a legitimate description of chest pain and a 12 lead needs to be done. "Shortness" requires O2, Skesures require Ativan
6) Sometimes it's just easier to take them than it is to argue with them.
7) Cspine EVERYONE who in laying on the sidewalk and smells even a little like alcohol
8) When the COPS say he's dead...Fucker is D-E-A-D
9) On shooting scenes, look for tiny things like business cards marking the shell casings, especially if the crime scene unit isn't on scene yet.
10) They all lie.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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John Trider
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