Tuesday, November 28, 2006

12 days of EMS Christmas

This was a foward I got from a fellow medic. I thought I would post it. It also explaines the little >>>>>> thingies.


The Twelve Days of Christmas EMS Style...
>>>
>>>On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>2 MG of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by
>>>taking
>>>her Husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling
>>>suicidal....
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the
>>>neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself
>>>and
>>>have the
>>>big one in the driveway...
>>>2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself...
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee..
>>>
>>>On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>4 AM in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has
>>>had
>>>the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the
>>>hospital....NOW,...
>>>Three Stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle,
>>>2 MG of Narcan for Morphine eating Momma...
>>>and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Five minutes to eat.....
>>>4 AM shuttle call,
>>>Three stacked shocks,
>>>2 MG of Narcan,
>>>and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system...
>>>Five Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!!!
>>>4 AM Shuttle,
>>>3 zaps to the chest,
>>>gonna have a stomach pumped,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven car
>>>pile
>>>up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal
>>>Mart
>>>the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo
>>>Dolls...
>>>six reports behind...
>>>Five minutes to eat.......
>>>4AM is way to early,
>>>3 stacked shocks,
>>>2 of Narcan Pushed,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee....
>>>
>>>On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight
>>>flights
>>>of
>>>steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of
>>>breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the
>>>elevator
>>>doesn't
>>>work...
>>>7 cars a crunching,
>>>six reports a writing,
>>>Five minutes to eat.
>>>4 AM shuttle,
>>>CPR in progress,
>>>2 MG of Narcan,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine blankets
>>>needed
>>>to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of the
>>>house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10
>>>seconds we
>>>are outside...
>>>Eight flights of stairs,
>>>should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay,
>>>six reports I'm writing...
>>>Five minutes to eat.....
>>>What the Hell time is it,
>>>should have paid the kid,
>>>2MG of Narcan,
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>Ten Minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy
>>>figuring out who is going to lunch next....
>>>Nine blankets needed,
>>>Hope fire department is coming,
>>>7 cars a crunching,
>>>six reports I need to write,
>>>Five minutes to eat...
>>>Can't you wait till morning,
>>>stick a fork in him, he's done,
>>>Man I hope she shuts up...
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.
>>>
>>>On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
>>>Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck
>>>and
>>>maintainence won't take the truck in...
>>>ten minutes waiting,
>>>Nine blankets needed,
>>>eight flights of steps to climb,
>>>Hope you have Progressive,
>>>Give me a new ink pen...
>>>Five minutes to eat....
>>>4 AM is early,
>>>3 Leads all show he's dead,
>>>2 MG won't touch her..
>>>and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...
>>>
>>>On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
>>>a 12 Gague IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to
>>>swing at me...
>>>it's really freezing,
>>>Hope you choke on your sandwich,
>>>9 blankets for grandpa,
>>>How did you get up here in the first place,
>>>man your husband is gonna be pissed,
>>>six reports STILL down...
>>>five minutes to eat...
>>>Better than taking them back,
>>>Hope I recorded the code,
>>>Man, just pass out already...
>>>and grandma who fell and hit her knee...

2 comments:

Mama Mia said...

Hilarious!!!

Stacey said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
So true.