The Monster in my Head

I think I'm dying. Well, maybe not dying. But, close. Since Friday afternoon I have been fighting a migraine. I get them occasionally. I take my Maxalt or my Imitrex, lay down with a cold compress for a few hours and they normally go away. On rare occasions, this doen't work and I make a trip to the local ER where I get a small dose of Dilaudid, that normally knocks them out quickly, never to return. This time however something is painfully wrong. I have taken the Max dose fo my Triptans (300mgs every 24 hours) for three days, Alernating Advil Migraine and Excedrine Migraine every four hours. I have made two trips to the ER, one trip to my Primary Care MD, got two doses of IV Diluadid in the ED and a script for 4mg PO Dilaudid from my Primary and the monster is still raging. The whole right side of my head is ripping open. So here I lay, in the dark, stoned on painkillers wishing for either my head to crack open to relieve the pressure or for the narcs to kick in fully so I can just sleep. Sleep would be good.

Status migrainosus is what it's called. A drug- resistant mirgraine lasting longer than 72 hours. I googled it. A rare species of Migraine who is a particularlly nasty, mean little bastard. The little fucker has caused all kinds of trouble this weekend work-wise, money-wise, health-wise. I had to leave work, forcing somebody in. Which I HATE doing, because it sucks being on the receiving end of that phone call with a Supervisor going, "You have to come back in, someone's called out sick" and it really sucks when that sick person works on an outlying truck, an hour from anywhere, and it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Thus, making you drive out there only to be relieved in two and a half hours later. This has also caused all kinds of finacial issues because each ER visit is $150, then $25 for my doctor visit, another $8 for the RX, then $50 more on Thursday when I go see my Neurologist, who will probally give me new abortive and prophylaxtic meds. So even more money because most Migraine abortives are band name only, there is no generic form of Imitrex. And of course, being that I work in the medical field and that I watch way too much "House" I have all these thoughts of "Maybe it's a brain tumor" or "Maybe its a AVM" or "Maybe the kid I took care of a week ago with a fever had bacterial Menigitus" or "Maybe it's a rare African parasite that crawled into my head through my nose while I was sleeping and it is now snacking on my brain" or Maybe it's just a fucking Migraine. But whatever it is, It's not going away. So here I lay, possibly dying from a rare African parasite, who I have now dubbed "Bang Bang" after the way he makes my head feel, missing a TRMT knot-tying class that I need to get into all the rest of my Confined Space and High Angle Rescue Classes from the Fire Academy.