Thursday, August 09, 2007

What have I told you people about lying to the medics?

I've been getting these weird calls in the middle of the night. Last shift was the assault that we thought was bullshit drunk guy that turned out to be bleeding internally going into shock guy. This shift was it was running from the cops got tased refused to sit up and talk to us guy, but not because he was that beligerant, but because he had a blood pressure of 70/squat and was tachy at 120. What the hell? He was intermitently responsive. The type of resposive that you had to fuck with all the way to the hospital to keep awake, but as long as you kept fucking with him, giving him a good sternal rub or hollar at him when his O2 sats dropped he came right back up to 100%. I did feel kinda bad when I first got him in the truck and kept yelling at him to talk to me "If you can run from the cops, you can sit up and talk to me, quit fucking around" then his pressure was 70. SON OF A BITCH! "What the fuck did you take?"
"No really, what the fuck did you take!"
"How much you been drinking?"
"I ain't been drinking man?"
"yes you have I can smell it, what esle you been doing"
well knock me over I got a fucking angel in my possesion. So he bought himself a ride to the hospital with bilateral 16 gauge IVs a liter of fluid, some Narcan, and was going to get to meet a bunch of very nice nurses with a very large foley catheter at the ER. I also found out that I am getting very good at sliding in 16 gauges into handcuffed patients. Its a strange angle but it can be done.

With it being so hot here are some tips from your friendly paramedic. Because I don't want to pick your ass up.
1.Stay in the AC
2.Stay in the AC
3.Stay in the AC
There's plenty of Law and Order reruns on to enjoy, there is no reason to go outside in this heat, to run, play tennis, mow the grass or really do a damn thing
4. if you must go outside, you crazy bastards. Drink water. not Budweizer, not PBR, not vodka, WATER. or gatorade is fine too or my personal favorite, Revive VitaminWater.
5. Wear light cothing, both in weight and color. This does inclued the lowcountry favorite of searsucker. I didn't say it had to be flattering.

If you becaome unresponsive, stop sweating and your temp gets above 103 you are offically in need of my assistance. And I will be glad to come and get you but I do reserve the right to fuss at you if you do not follow the simple steps listed above. Because it's your own damn fault.


Anonymous said...

Interesting case on post Tazering. I have a friend who is currently researching Tazer incidents for the US Dept. of Justice.
RE: #4 on your list of tips:
I prefer the new Miller Chill while sitting IN the water. Works very nicely for me.
I'm glad you are finding your job so engaging.

painter in hiding said...

I don't think it was the Taser. I think it was the unknown substance he wouldn't admit to that he took.

Anonymous said...

I wrote the protocol we use for post-tasering here. All of my research points to the reason a person was tased as the reason they become compromised - not the tasering as a cause.