Monday, July 25, 2005

Whole hell of a lot of stupid

I spent my overtime shift today dealing with stupid. A whole hell of a lot of stupid. It happens I guess, like the 30 y/o that the coast guard had to rescue because he was messing with some pipe on his boat causing it to explode hot steam all over his chest and abdomen. Second degree burns, however simple can still be very painful. On the short ride to the Trauma Center ( the USCG station is across the street from the hospital) he looked at me and asked "Why does it burn so much?"....Well genius, because you exposed your tender skin of your abdomen to a pipe bursting with scaling hot gas, that just my guess. But instead I calmly explained that burns hurt and that there was very good pain medications at the hospital, to which he replied "The hospital? I'm okay, why am I going to the hospital?"
" Because you lost consciousness and you have a large burn across your torso. That's why."
"Oh okay" but I'm okay, why am I going to the hospital"
"because you lost consciousness and have a large burn across your torso and you keep asking me the same questions."
"but I'm okay..." And round and round we go for the entire 5 minutes I had him in my care.
"Can I have Diagnosis for 200 Alex?"
Oh Oh...I know the answer. "What is closed head injury exacerbated by ETOH?"

Then there was the 21 y/o with an attitude. Hey buddy it's not my fault you layed your bike down going 80 and now have 50% less skin in your arms and legs. You should have been wearing long pants. At least he was smart enough to wear a helmet. But don't give me attitude when all I'm trying to do is make you as comfortable as possible. Also don't be stupid and refuse to let us start an IV so the hospital is able to give you Morphine while they clean your wounds. You don't know what pain is until you have had road rash irrigated and cleaned with a scrub brush. That's not bravery, its asinine.

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