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This photograph has nothing to do with this post. I just think its a cool picture and I would like to share it. It's the Biltmore Hotel in Atlanta. I took it from Peachtree St.

I went to visit my Xterra at the dealership. She is red and shiny. I do have to trade in my little Carolla. I loved that car. I hope she finds a good owner, somewhat more kinder to her than I have been. I tend to drive her like I stole her and she has fallen prey to several mailboxes and one deer. But she was a good little car, took my abuse and kept on going. But it's time to move on. I have a big girl job, so I think I should have a big girl ride.

In other news...We have new Neighbors. Three new girls. My roommate and I were hoping for a house full of new men to corupt, however as long as these new ladies are as nice as I think they are, all will be well. They don't have two yipper dogs like the lady who lived there before, so already they have cool points. And as long as they don;t mind the parties we have ever once and a while...They tend to get out of control at around 0400, after many hours of adult beverages. The last one ended in a wretling match that let me with a black eye and another player with two broken ribs. Lesson learned: never wrestle with drunken paramedics. Also invite several police officers so when you get busted for the commotion you have back-up.

Dangling and Hanging

Last shift was very slow. I spent the AM dangling from a 6 story building trying to finish my Technical Rescue compentancies. I learned how to pass a knot in the rope while rappelling. Very scary stuff, at least for me being somewhat afraid of heights. And I am one of two girls on the team. The boys make it look so easy. I think sometimes they forget I don;t have the body strenth they do, but the boys on the team are very patient with me, so when I start freaking out they can quickly calm me down by telling me that I am attached to the wall by not one but two ropes and that I will not fall. Still I am nervous while hanging 50 feet off the ground. Then it started raining so we had to pack up early and I had to return to my truck for my normal shift.

So I spent my afternoon and nighttime doing not much of anything. It was a slow night. I have a new partner, well several new partner's while my normal partner is out on a injury. Just my luck I finally get a partner I like and enjoy being around and he goes and gets his ass hit by a car while riding his bicycle. He's fine, but he will be out for at least three weeks. So my partner last night was actually a street supervisor. A white shirt was my partner. This could be very nerve racking for a crew member, if he wasn't so damn laid-back. He not one to judge you or your medicine, was unless your medicine is completely screwed up. He misses the streets, so he sometimes picks up OT on an ambulance. Which I think is very cool, that he will sometimes hangs up his captain bars for a shift with the rest of the street medics. He has not forgotten when he came from, has not forgotten the way it sometimes is on the streets. That sometimes we have to push the envelope right to the edge, think outside the band-aid box. But there was no pushing of the envelope last night, no lives to be saved. We had two calls, both uneventful, run of the mill calls.

This AM was our inservice, long drawn-out boring. But a necessary evil I guess, as long as it keeps me from having to take Nat'l Registry exams over again, I will gladly go. When I took my paramedic practicals, I broke out in hives so bad my intructors thought I was going to need a dose of Epi. I do that during ACLS practicals. In fact practicals in general make me break out like a hormonal teenager. Embarrassing as hell. Thank god today was PEPP, or prehospital pediatrics. Like PALS, but aimed more toward Prehospital than in hospital treatment. No practicals, just a written test, which I can pass with my eyes closed, being that my mother was a Pediatric ER nurse and has passed on her knowledge of treating sick kids on to her own kid. I like dealing more with Peds anyways. With a sick kid, manage the Airway and it will most likely manage the problem. Unlike sick adults, which can be any number of things Cardiac, neurological, respiratory. So you must manage ALL of the problems before they get better. Kids are more honest anyways.

It's not my emergency.

Medics and EMTs as a whole are a clever group of people. Because of the nature of the job, the split-second life or death decision making aspect of our existence, we have come up with numerous acronyms to help us remember the right order of the right questions to ask. OPQRST for assessment, DCAPBTLS for trauma, SAMPLE for medical history, AVPU for level of consciousness, APGAR for birthing babies, ABC for initial assessment are just to name a few. Even ALS for Advanced Life Support (paramedic) or BLS for Basic Life Support (EMTs). There is even some that are used more for humor than real treatment, like CATS (Cut all to shit) FUBAR (duh), and DFO (done fell out). All of these are hammered into our brains from the first day of EMT school and they are repeated over and over through out our career. Its so when you get a fucked up patient you can quickly assess the situation and treat your patient. One of the first drilled into our head are the ABCs. Stands for Airway, Breathing, Circulation. These are the first three things that a medic needs to make sure your patient has. An Open Airway so that your patient can Breath so that they do not lose their Circulation (or pulse/ blood pressure) This comes immediately after your scene survey. It is the beginning because if your patient does not have those three things your patient will die.

So fast forward to me, last night, on a scene of an MVA (motor vehicle accident), Roll-over ejection, then run over by an unsuspecting commuter just driving down the freeway. We were called for mutual aid for another EMS system. They were there first. The patient was already on a LSB (long spine board) with a C-Collar around his next. He is unconscious and most moving. His Airway is filled with blood, and his Breathing is irregular and gurgling. The Medic from the other system is standing over him, screaming orders at the FD (fire department) and her EMT partner. I walk up to her and calmly ask "What do you need?" This after I see this man fighting to breath through the blood filled airway. The medic looks at me and barks "I need a cravat!!" (a cravat is a triangle shaped bandage used to splint arms and shoulders and is sometime also used as a make-shift restraint)
Now she needs a cravat like she needs a hole in the head. So just thinking ahead I give her a "what the fuck" look and ask "D you have a BVM (bag valve Mask, u)sed to assist ventilations) and an O2 tank?" She, flustered, gives me "What!?, BVM...uh...Yeah...Its in the bag...But really I NEED A CRAVAT!" and she then runs up to her truck I guess looking for a cravat. Leaving me standing by this barely breathing patient. I look through the bag on the road next to him, which happens to be a trauma bag, not an airway bag. No O2 or BVM to be found. She then returns to the patient with a cravat and ties his hands together with it. Well THANK GOD we got that done, can we NOW manage the Airway? Apparently not. He get swept up, placed on the stretcher and rushed off the the back of their ambulance, still gurgling without O2, without an open airway without suction, but he does finally have a cravat.

Now I am not saying that I am a brilliant Medic, who knows everything, with pristine medicine. I am by no means a ParaGod. I am just a simple medic. And I am not one to question another Medic's treament or medicine. Every one goes it thier own way. But like any job thier is a standard of care. Thats where the acronyms come in. It keeps everything easy and in the right order. But it is in no way carved in stone. Some medics get vitals before the SAMPLE history. Some load the pateint in the truck before doing a secondary survey. But no matter what the ABCs come first, you do this while walking up to the patient. You can assess these things before even laying a hand on the patient. Paramedicine is not hard medicine. Its cookbook. A trained monkey could almost do this job. Its made simple because a medic must be able to think on their feet, make quick decisions that could mean getting a live patient to the ER, not a dead one. Its hard work to keep a cool head in the middle of an emergency. One just has to remember the first LAW of EMS. IT'S NOT YOUR EMERGENCY.

Xterra

Working at breakneck speed for long hours is beginning to wear me down. Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I have spent almost two weeks straight in a uniform for at least 12 hours a day. Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I havent even bought a CD or DVD in at least a month, Xterra, Xterra, Xterra. I beginning to go through withdraws. I think the people at the local music store are going to forget my name and I will no longer get my "family discount". Diffrent priorities I guess, Less music, more new car right? I can give up one addiction, right? Well techniclly two.

I can't sleep, what a suprise. And on top of that I can't quit sneezing. So I sit up typing and watching Sex and the City. Taking a break from my normal late night insommnia routine of CSI: and a bottle of wine. So it's SATC and diet coke with lime. SInce I have to work in the AM I had to do the diet coke in lieu of the wine.

I am the ride

It was a long 36 hours. I worked all night, all day and then all night again. This earning extra money for a down payment on a new Xterra is really beginning to wear me down. But I trudge on with a picture of an Xterra on my bathroom mirror so that I'm reminded why I have been killing myself for the past month. I came home this AM and immediately crashed. I stayed down until almost 3 o'clock this afternoon. Was awakened by my roommates cat using my belly as a trampoline. That and the crashing that was my curtains on my bedroom window collapsing on the floor. They were just rigged up there anyways. I was warned that this job is a hard one. Sleepless nights, the death and sickness, the stupidity of people. My roommate tells me that I save lives. I always remind her that I don't really save them, for the most part I spend my days postponing the inevitable. I have been in EMS for close to three years, I can count on one hand how many lives I have ACTUALLY saved. Yes we can keep our patients alive for the 15 minutes we have them. I can CPAP a CHFer, I can administer Epinephrene to a child on anaphalytic shock, I can give Nitroglycerine to a man having an MI, I can lessen the pain of a Car crash victim with Morphine, but I cannot open a chest to give internal compressions, xray a neck to see it its broken, cat scan a head to know if the stroke is ischemic or hemorrhaging or thread an angiocath to clean a blocked blood vessel. I am the ride.

MIs and Crazy bitches

I was a busy 24 hours. We had 9 calls, only one really and truly needed an ambulance. He was an older gentleman mowing the grass in the hot South Carolina heat and began having chest pain. He had a long cardiac history, so my partner and I loaded him calmly in the ambulance and hooked him up to the monitor. Normal Sinus without ectopy, the 12 lead EKG showed the same. Nothing jumped out, no elevation in any of the leads. Now just a quick explanetion to my non medical people reading this. Normal Sinus is a normal heart tracing, ectopy is any unusal beats, like a PVC ( premature ventricualr contraction). And elevation on a 12 lead is elevation in the ST segment of a heartbeat. A Heartbeat is sperated into several segment. PQRST. the firts little bump is the P-wave which leads into the QRS that big pointy part of the beat and the last little bump is the T-wave. If there is Elevation in between the S and T wave it means basicly the patient is having a "cardiac event" or possible a heart attack (or Myocardial Infarction). If it depressed it means the Patient has already had an MI and it shows Cardiac tissue damage. Now a 12 lead EKG is like several cameras taking several diffrent pictures of the heart at diffrent angles at the same time. So there might be elevation in some pictures and not others. So not only can I tell that my patient is have an MI, but I can also tell where in the heart my patient is having one. This is hard to explain really w/o a picture of some sort and if one is so inclined check out Emergency EKG.com for further information. Okay back to story at hand...So we took a quiet ride to the hospital, gave the Nitrogylcerine, the asprin (yess the commercials on TV are true Asprin can help save your life during a Heart Attack) the oxygen. And dropped him off with the nurses at the ER. We came back a few hours later to find our that our patient had had an Inferior MI. Now that is just proof of everything our Med control Doctor drill into our brains at every inservice every month. "Just because you don't SEE the MI, does not mean your patient in NOT HAVING the MI. Treat every chest pain patient as if they are having the BIG ONE."

We also had a compleatly out of her head patient, who keep yelling and cussing at us. She kept screaming that the police "attacked her" and that my partner has assaulted her, which of course is not true. As I sat in the back with her she kept flinging herself areound the back of the box, refusing to let me touch her, eventhough she kept screaming That I was not doing a fucking thing. I should be "Like, doing a fucking physical exam or something!" Well you nutjob, I would if you would let me. But everytime I tried to talk she would scream "RAPE!" at me (I'm a female Medic, so I get the joy of riding in the lunatic females) so I just gave up at let her continue to scream nonsense and cuss. Now when I encodeed the hospital, she was still carrying on so I basiclly encoded softly, keeping the mike keyed up, so that the receiving hospital could hear the comotion going on the background. And then They asked me if HER VITAL SIGNS WERE STABLE?! I told them I think so by how many times she had dropped the F-bomb on me. I heard a chuckle from the staff and they told me to bring her on in. She then proceeded to scream Rape at the ER doc, then throwing a tray at the nurse.

I dont have the patience to think of a creative title

I just got home from the bar enjoying three gin and tonics with two of my closest friends. Three is a good number, buzzed just enough to be happy, not drunk enough to have a killer hangover in the morning. So I spent the day today cleaning my mess of an apartment. Taking two bags worth of crap to the local Goodwill. Five loads of laundry and about 412 coathangers later I can now see the floor of my living space. So now at 3am Im waiting for my last laod to dry. A load that includes all my sheets and blankets so I can go to bed until they are done. Now I do have several sets of sheets. However I have a touch of OCD and since they nolonger match the color scheme of my bedroom I can not but them on my bed. Plus several months ago I broke down an bought 400 count sheets, so 180 count sheets feel like sleeping on wallpaper. I even bought 350 count sheets for my bed at the station because I could not stand the sheets on the beds there. My partners think I'm nuts, however I like what I like. Judge me I dare you.

So I have had three days off instead of the standard 48 hours. Its because of the move. I'm not only going to a diffrent truck but to a diffrent shift. So instead of being at work tommorrow...or today technically I have another day off. So I guess I'll go to the gym...or not..whatever

100 things about me.

I have seen all these 100 things about me list. I like a challenge so I get here goes...

1. I live in SC
2. I have 1 sister who is in college
3. My parents are still married to each other
4. I have 1 roommate
5. I have a tail-less cat, well it's technically my roommates cat but whatever
6. I really don't like cats
7. I'm more of a dog person
8. I work as a paramedic
9. I love my job
10. But my real passion in life is photography
11. I got my associates degree in graphic design and photography
12. Paramedic school was the hardest time in my life
13. I have only questioned my line of work once
14. And the call the made me question it changed me forever
15. I don't believe I can save everyone, but I will damn well try
16. Math was and still is my worse subject
17. I can't spell either
18. I can restrain a combative person in less than 3min.
19. I'm claustrophobic and somewhat afraid of heights
20. But I'm on the technical rescue team, which deals with high angle and confined space rescue
21. My longest relationship lasted 90 days...They all last a max of 90 days
22. I have a theory that When it comes to my relationships, You are either on the 90 day plan, or the best friends forever plan
23. I have had the same 4 best friends since High school
25. And we all resemble a character on "Sex and the City"
26. I am Carrie with a Samantha twist
27. I can rattle off all the doses of all the drugs we carry in our systems drug box
28. And I can tell you exactly how many 4x4s we carry on the ambulance(75)
29. CSI is my favorite show on TV. I have all of them on DVD. Both LV and Miami and I can watch them over and over
30. I have a music addiction. I have about 500-600 CDs
31. I also have a bookshelf full of DVDs, ranging from "Finding Nemo"-"Fight Club"
32. My favorite movies are fight Club, Empire Records, Dazed and confused, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Garden state. I watch them over and over
33. I am also an avid reader. I have two bookshelves full of books
34. My mother is the most caring woman I've ever know, she has the patience to put up not only with me, but my father and sister
35. My Father is the smartest man I know. He can explain anything to me in a language I can understand
36. My sister is smarter than me
37. But I'm more creative
38. I paint when I'm angry and listen to Rage against the machine when I paint
39. I am the oldest child
40. I drink and tend to use the word "Fuck" excessively
41. I do not believe in organized religion
42. But do I believe in God and have faith that I am living by His plan
43. I do not like people who push their beliefs on me
44. I HATE the question "What's the worse thing you have ever seen?" when I tell people I'm a paramedic.
45. I don't sleep very well at night
46. I have chronic migraines that I take several medications for everyday
47. I have no patience for over dramatic bitches on calls
48. But I can fake compassion really well
49. Most of my friends are good looking guys That I see more as brothers than dating material
50. I have my wedding planned out in my head
51. But I don't know if I will ever get married (see # 21,22)
52. I have seen Dave Matthews band 5 times live
53. I have only feared for my life once. It was at Woodstock 99
54. My crazy patients love me. I think it's because I can relate to them
55. On the nights I don't sleep I watch forensic shows on A&E and Court TV for hours
56. I also call my mother who works nights at a local ER
57. Several nurses at the trauma center I used to work in think I should take up Forensic Photography for the Coroner's Office
58. Death no longer scares me
59. I have two tattoos. Both I drew, One a tribal design inbetween my shoulders and a cadusas on my lower back. I have two more drawn, the Irish words for artist and to heal
60. The TV character I relate to the most I think, is Abby on NCIS
61. I read can books over and over even though I know the ending if I like them
62. I'm a Scorpio, and have some of the characteristics of a typical Scorpio
63. I went to Mardi Gras last year and New Orleans holds a certain place in my heart
64. I have only flown on an airplane twice, once to Boston and once to New Orleans
65. I had a breast reduction three years ago. I went from a size E to a C
66. I am an excellent liar, but I save that skill for when I really need to use it
67. I don't understand why I have 12 supervisors
68. But I respect all of them
69. I can get frustrated easily
70. I tend to throw things when I get angry
71. I tend to speed and have gotten pulled over many times because of it , but (knock on wood) I have never gotten a ticket
72. I named my car, iPod, computer and camera ( Ginger Shanequia, Lola, Gidgit, and Julia respectively)
73. I'm a mess. My co workers and friends tell me that they know where I have been because I leave a trail. Much like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic
74. I can only cook like four things ( spaghetti sauce, fried shrimp, rosemary garlic chicken, and a mean bean salsa)
75. My guy friends girlfriends for the most part don't like me, and I have no idea why
76. I don't like bananas or artichoke, or asparagus
77. But everything else is free game
78. My friends call me a Music Snob. I will discover an off the hook band and in approach. 6 months the band will blow up. And I always say " I heard them first, damnit!"
79. I learned to swim when I was 3
80. I am in the middle of saving money for a new car ( Xterra), but my CD, DVD addictions make saving really challenging
81. I hate having my photograph taken
82. I do not understand why Pink Floyd is such a remarkable band. Their music puts me to sleep
83. But I think Jimi Hendrix was a bad ass and Led Zepplin is amazing
84. I own a few CDs that I have never listened to, or even opened
85. Same for a few DVDs
86. I wanted to be Annie Leibovitz when I grew up
87. I still haven't grown up
88. I still get choked up when I hear "What if God was one of us". It was the first song I heard after I learned my grandmother had died
89. I do not cry at movies
90. (ten more to go) One of my favorite photos from my childhood is the one of me and my dad at my parent's wedding. I was two.
91. I respect my dad more than most daughters I think, because he raised me as his own, with no questions asked.
92. I have absolutely no desire to find my real father. I have no use for him. I have a dad. And he will always be known as daddy.
93. My best friend saved me in High school, she helped me find myself which gave me the confidence I so desperatly needed at that time in my life
94. I have held a human heart in my hands, I also helped it to start beating again.
95. I pray silently for my patients who are dying when I know I can't save them no matter what I do
96. I talk to myself sometimes
97. I get nervous when I encode hospitals or have to do a refusal with a supervisor on the EMS radio
98. I also get nervous during practical exams for my job. I break out into hives. It's not that I don't know what to do its that I'm being watched.
99. I don't like to talk on the phone
100. (Fhew...done) I believe that my life is full and complete. I am happy.

Flat tires suck

I got off work this AM after a fairly uneventful shift of weak and dizzy, and Unconscious in a car to a flat tire. I got out of the parking lot of the county building I work in before I relized it. It was a bit of a delayed reaction. Like I felt the car driving funny, yet it didn;t register until I was out of the parking lot. So I first called my supervisor who was at the station I just left and then my father. My supervior helped me change my tire, well I mostly watched as he changed my tire. I then drove home very slowly because the donut I was driving on made it hard to steer. Once at home I unloaded the 12 gallons of water that was in my trunk. Yess 12 gallons, It was left over from the hurricane scare and according to EMS policy I needed 3 days worth of food water and clothing. So I had went to the local Walmart and picked up H2O for both me and my roommate. Anyways I figured I would get out of the hot uncomfortable uniform and take a shower before I took my car to the tire place. So it was about 0930 when I arrived at the tire store. I was greeted cheerfully and took myplace among the masses also waited for their car to be released back to them. I was told it would take about an hour. So I sat quietly in the corner read my book and waited...and waited...and waited...and then waited some more. 3 hours later I was told my car was finished. Free of charge. With a rose on my seat. So I feel I could not complain about the time I waited. Even though I was exsausted from having just gotton off work and almost fell asleep several times in the waiting area. I was almost the asshole.

My reality show

There is a new show in MTV called "the reality show" It shows a bunch of fucking weirdos who are competing to get their life on TV. So my roommate and I were watching this discussing that our lives are really aren;t really very interesting. I think the only thing in my life worth sharing with the entire world is my job. I then could educate the MTV generation that EMS is not a taxi service. Then again who wants to watch me try and communicate with a deaf 75 year old who summonded an ambulance because he can't shit. And he just keeps yelling "I can't poop!' over and over again...Very loudly. So my life is not that fascinating. It basically boring with small interjecting of excitement. Maybe my driving could be considered an adrenaline rush. Several mailboxes in my neighborhood has felt the rath of the gold 'rolla....Or the other way around. The mailboxes happen to be made of some sort of metal know only to NASA and have taken chunks of paint and metal off my poor unsuspecting 'rolla. My poor car has become a running joke with my circle of friends...And some of my partners. The peeling paint on the front bumper from where a deer ran into my car on a trip back from ATL, the gouges of missing paint from the mailboxes, and the cracked front headlight from a retard hit me when the city of Charleston messed up on the planning of the annual Christmas tree erecting by completely blocking an intersection of two one way streets. I guess it come from driving a huge three ton truck. A truck that I am able to break all kinds of traffic laws to maneuver my way through the streets of Chas in.

In other news...I am moving yet again. I get bounced around more than a tennis ball. A new truck, a new partner. At least this new partner is one that I can stand to be in the same room with. And I won't get looked down on because I'm not "Christian" enough because I drink and say the word "fuck" occasionally.

Well it looks as if Ophelia is going north of us to hit NC/SC border. Thank god, not to whine, but I was not looking forward to spending three days in an uncomfortable uniform in a small station with my holy roller partner. It would be okay if I myself believed in organized religion, but I do not. I do not feel as if a bunch of judgmental assholes that made fun of me during Conformation classes when I was 14 because I was one of two students who went to public school could teach me anything about faith. (Oh heaven forbid! I didn't pay thousands of dollars a year to have a bunch of nuns teach me algebra.) You either believe or you don't, I don't need to go to church every Sunday to know that He is real. I have complete faith in the fact that there is a higher power out there, but is He really watching me rock out in my car while driving to work in the morning? He has got to have better things to do in the morning. So dealing with my partner who is one of those non-denomination church types, like on the church channel, Can get somewhat tedious. Especially being a foul mouth ex-skateboarder punk ass like myself. Every Sunday morning that he is at work we get to enjoy the Christian Music, not like hymns, but that stand up and "Praise Jesus" music. And it is played very loudly. Which is fine, however he did not ask if it bothered me. What if I was a devout Jew? What if it did bother me? What would happen if I played Rage Against the Machine and Tool as loud as I wanted every say Tuesday morning? It not that he isn't a nice guy and a decent medic. He little bit of a "freaker". A little bit high strung on calls. But the best I can do is stay calm, so that he stays calm. I think he is still trying to figure out his place as a Senior Crew Chief of an entire medic unit. Just as I will be when I get my promotion as a crew chief. You just do the best you can and learn from mistakes, not only that you make, but the medics around you. We all make them. We all have weaknesses and we all have strenths. The thing you have to know is that you have them and work on them.
I have talked to my scheduling supervisor. And she completely understands my point. That and me being a naturally night person, I really need to be on a 12 hour night shift. She is working on it or so she tells me.

my hurricane

So I knew this was coming. A small hurricane is now threating my coastline in SC. So Im now getting prepared to spend the next three days weathering the storm at my EMS station. The County has put all emergency workers on alert, me included. I have to go today and brave the local Wal-Mart for my supplies to last me several days. This storm is no Katrina and the damage expected is going to be small in comparison. But we too, like New Orleans,are below sea level. And I can tell you downtown Charleston floods when a small thunderstorm drops rain on us at the wrong time (say high tide). We have to special order our ambulances so that the chasis and box are about 4in higher to help fight the flooding that happens around the hospitals in downtown Charleston. But Im not worrried about this storm. I will gather my supplies and truge off to my station tommorow .

So I'm continuing to be glued to CNN watching all the Hurricane Coverage. I sit and I watch wanting to help. They have sent several Medics from our service who are members of the DMAT team. I wanted so bad to be able to go with them. Of course my father would have fought tooth and nail to keep me from going. But instead I'm here in my air-conditioned home with clean running water and electricity. Now I am on call with several other medics here along with ER doctors, RNs EDTs, surgeons waiting for the evacuees to arrive here in Charleston. According to the PTB (Powers that Be) Charleston was supposed to recieve up to 1600 people for the gulf states for medical attention yesterday, however PTB sent them to Charleston, West Virgina, instead of here. So now we are expecting them tommorrow. So I will stand by my phone and wait for the call. So that I can do something to help these people. I feel that since my broke ass can't afford to donate money, I can donate my time. I can use my emergency medical skills to help.